Having got far to big for my boots after catching Vivian napping at Snetterton, some humble pie was in order; cue one visit to Prescott Speed Hillclimb School.

For those not familiar with this sport, a Speed Hillclimb is a timed ascent of a twisty tarmac uphill course, from a standing start to a flying finish. Prescott is (one of?) the oldest and the most prestigious venues in the UK, and is run by the Bugatti Owners Club.

We arrived on a bright sunny May morning - the venue is set in beautiul cotswold countryside just north of Cheltenham with views out over the hills. There was a good selection of sporting cars of all ages in attendance, from a vintage Bentley to a new Porsche 996; three Elises, four if you count instructor Mark Waldrens, but unfortunately not the turbo-charged carbon fibre bodied special Elise as Mark had put it sideways into the barrier halfway up the hill at the previous weekends meet. (Ouch!)

The day started with a classroom session and an introduction to the hill. 1127 yards long, split into five sectors; Orchard is a fast lefthander; Ettore's a tight 200 degree right, Pardon is a steep uphill lefthanded hairpin, the Esses are four bends that should be treated as two and the Semicircle lives up to it's name.

After we'd been talked through lines and sighting points it was time for a walk of the course. First impressions.. it's very narrow (12ft min!), the corner run-offs go from small to none and the edges are either marked with unforgiving Arnco barrier (Esses) or just drop away off the side of the hill (Semicircle). A good smattering of easily reached trees and earth banks add to the impression that you really don't want to go off here. However, Mark the instructor seemed quite cheerful, even pointing out where we could collect souvenir bits of carbon fibre from his accident at the weekend. Hmmm. Mark emphasised turn in points, sightlines, camber and surface changes.

Then it was time for a convoy run and 2 groups of 16 cars took it in turns to do a gentle ascent to allow us all to get a drivers-eye view of the hill. It goes like this:
Position the car at a slight angle to straighten the run from start line into Orchard. Wait for the marshall's signal and then start in your own time. Aim for the marshalls post and keep just right of centre through the apex of Orchard, making the whole bend a gentle curve such that your exit is the entry into Ettore's; slightly blind here, the trick is to carry most of your speed into the first half of the bend, but then slow hard and turn tight to avoid running wide on the exit as the track goes back on itself. The turn is so tight that it's worth repositioning your hands on the wheel as you approach to avoid running out of lock and having to shuffle your hands mid bend. A good exit leaves you on the inside of the track giving a straight line run up to Pardon. Keep tight to the barrier on the right, brake firmly and use the camber to slingshot the car round. Use what width there is on the exit of the track to straighten the approach to the Esses, then get back over to the left, carry speed in to the right handed entry, brake hard and turn to the left. Done properly, you will clip the next left and right apexes before braking briefly again and accelerating round the final left - not too tight as the track opens allowing a burst of acceleration again before the Semicircle. Avoid looking over the edge, turn in late and power round to the exit; full throttle through the flying finish and avoid lifting off too sharply as some have been known to send the car into the hedges here.

Easy huh? After my first run I didn't think so. Orchard was OK, but after that it went "downhill". Ettore's started well, but as I tried to apply power on the exit the front of the car pushed wide, causing me to miss the apex; got entry into Pardon reasonably but then picked up the inside wheel on the exit causing it to spin and requiring me to control the slide on exit, turned too hard into the esses, missed both kerbs and lost all momentum. Semicircle was fun although still shy of that edge.

Then we got a quick debrief from the instructor - neither praised nor criticised so fingers crossed and try again.

Second go; bit faster this time (completely ignoring advice to concentrate on lines...), bit faster round Orchard, stay off the throttle a little longer in Ettore's but still going wide on the exit.. power out, second gear, 6000 rpm + shall I change up? Yes? No... my that Pardon's coming up quick... brake too hard, lock front up, unlock, brake again, too late and we're nose first in the gravel trap. *&^%(&%^%!!! Ooops. Fortunately I'd lost most of the speed on the tarmac and managed to back out unscathed except for a few marbles in the undertray. Continue up the hill slightly chastened.

One more run, staying on the tarmac this time and then lunch followed by ritual humiliation/instruction of watching ourselves on video. Most people are missing the apex at Ettore, not using the full width of the road on the approach to Pardon and missing the apexes though the Esses. Seeing the number of mistakes you can make in such a short bit of road increases admiration for our instructors and other professional hillclimbers.

First run of the afternoon was slightly better than the morning, but still missing apexes in the Esses so I took advantage of a passenger run with Russ, another of the instructors in, of all things, a Ford Granada. Russ has been outright champion here several times and as he talked us through it was obvious how well he knows the hill; the Granada was positioned perfectly for each approach and he knew just where to push and where to lift off to keep right on the line. I watched how he attacked the Esses and saw how he gave the car a good tweak left, just a hint of a slide disappearing as the power went back on to give a lovely straight line clip-clip through the apexes.

My turn, and emulating Russ I managed to get the best line through the Esses, and as it turned out, the best run of the day. I also tried shifting up into third for Orchard and between Pardon and the Esses and found that it made the car more settled. Even managed to control that wheelspin a bit better and get a bit more throttle in round Orchard. The later runs were all pretty much the same; tried third gear approaching Pardon and from Esses to Semicircle with no firm conclusion either way and couldn't resist timing myself for the last run... Came out about 56 secs[1]. Talking to Russ afterwards he said the runs in the Granda would be about 65secs, and anything below 60 was reasonable for a production car. He then said that the course record is a shade over 37s!

Final debriefing. More videos - no offs this time, and marks out of 100 for the day based purely on lines. Got 64% (low side of average; Vivian did better with 76%), so lots still to learn. Conclusions? Circuit days are easy compared to this - you get warm up laps, you can go round again and again learning bit by bit and you get room to make mistakes. A succesful hillclimb run must be inch perfect, straight out of the box. In race terms it's like doing your qualifying lap at Monaco from a standing start in the pit lane, and it's very competitive - some of the pro's use ex-F1 cars and engines, hit 120mph and win by thousandths of a second. Scary!

[1] Having seen some times from the real meetings, I'm not so convinced this is accurate.