Love - Or Something Like It

by Patrick Quanten MD

No other word or concept has been written about more than the four letter word "Love". And no other word or concept is so little understood. The only explanation possible is that either most of the written words are complete nonsense and don't fit life's reality at all, or the people do not want to know what it means. In other words, either all the talk is rubbish, or the talk is ok but people don't want to hear it.

If we look at what Western morality is based upon, namely the Bible, we are told to love our neighbour, all people, all of creation, even ourselves. Well that's quite a tall order, especially if we then look at our daily lives. How far have we come in two thousand years of teaching this gospel? - If we are lucky we love the parents, the spouse, the children, the friend, the house, the new car, an ornament on the mantelpiece. We love them for a reason: the parents helped to set us up in business, the wife looks sexy, the children are doing well at school, the friend baby-sits for free, the house is a good investment, the car is the latest model and the envy of others, the ornament used to belong to granny. However generous we are compiling the list of our loves, it will always remain a limited edition. But when we look at all the things we don't love, the list seems endless.

We hate certain individuals, nations, groups of people and institutions representing them. Absolutely detest them; just hearing their names makes us feel violent towards them. There are individuals, people and institutions we dislike. We find it difficult to comprehend them and although we try to be tolerant, more often than not we cannot sustain leniency. Then there are people we don't care for; we feel an indifference towards, a coldness, a remoteness. And if all of this isn't enough we have the same negative feelings about a lot of creation around us. Many people have phobias about certain animals or plants, even the sun; other things we are afraid of, don't care for, wished it didn't exist. All of which of course is not very loving, a far cry from the words in our bible.

At this point I do not want to get lost in a heated argument as to why we should love terrorists, sexual perverts or spiders. I rather would like to concentrate on the concept of love and why it is put forward in all major religions as a must. In contrast with this religious "must" people have always been at war with one another, have always hated, have always been afraid. What is it about our daily kind of love that makes us want to fight? Why is it so important that we love all?

Love

The writings and teachings of all major religions in this world emphasise the importance of Loving All. The central dogma is Love. There is nothing without Love. This all encompassing Love is the concept of God, Allah, or whatever you want to call the Superpower. God is all Love. God loves us all. No explanation is given as to how God can love terrorists or perverts but within our spiritual belief we accept that God loves us all. Nevertheless, we, not so ideal human beings, have found it necessary throughout the ages to fight wars in the name of God. Praying that with His help we would defeat the barbaric and atheist opposition, people that had strayed off the golden path. God may be able to love all, but we certainly don't seem to. We falter and have always faltered on this point. Yet equally, the spiritual belief that God loves us all has not changed in time; it is merely us struggling with the whole concept. And anyway, even if the methods may have been a bit rough, the intention always is earnest and honourable. We want to make others see the error of their ways and give them access to the glorious belief we have. If you convert to our belief, God will love you the same way He loves us! But God already loves everybody!

It is not religion or its spiritual belief that has wobbled, it is simply the church which has fallen short of its goal. The church is a human creation; it is a house of power. Religion itself has no worldly power. The church, and it's hierarchy, has. And it is the church that people look to for guidance in their spiritual belief. And it is the church that tells them that they are better than other "believers". But why? If these church leaders are so pure and know that God loves all of us, why do they endorse or encourage wars against other human beings? Well, what would happen if they didn't? When the people have decided that they hate their neighbours and that something needs to be done about it, and they turn to their religious leaders for support, what would the outcome be if their leaders told them God will not be on your side? What will happen to the leaders if the leaders do not give the populace what it demands? They become past-leaders. So, in order to preserve their own status, income and power they pledge God, whose representatives they are on earth, to be on your side. God didn't chose them to represent Him; they chose themselves, and we approved in the belief that they were anything else but human beings.

Love your torturer.
Love the murderer.
Love the terrorist.
Love the molester.

Love thyself.

As we all have anger in us, are capable of feeling hate and wishing people harm, we have all the qualities of the above locked within ourselves. When we hate the violence one person inflicts upon another, we hate the violence we use. The more we can identify with a certain type of violence the closer associated we are with that particular misdemeanour within ourselves. We effectively hate those "negative feelings" within ourselves; we hate part of ourselves. We hate ourselves. We are unhappy about the world and what goes on in it, as a reflection of our inner world. But hey, I do love myself. I look in the mirror and feel good about myself.

Either I like the picture the mirror shows because that particular picture suits the purpose I want to use it for right now, or I don't like what I see. I like myself but it would even be better with a nose job, a boob job, a bum job, or a tummy tuck. I could do with losing some weight or putting on some muscle. If only my hair wasn't so stringy and dry; if only my lips were bigger; if only ... and I would be perfect. People that do enforce changes to their bodies, continue to make changes. Gaining satisfaction with looks through outside intervention is an illusion, can never be reached and will continue to slip through your fingers like sand. It also has no meaning in the context of love. It may make you "happy" for a short while but it cannot make you love yourself.

Does it matter that I feel my body is not completely perfect? Does it matter that I know my maths isn't as good as my neighbours'? Does it matter that I strive to become better, to look better, to fall within the "norm"?

Temple of Love

Your body is your temple. Your belief system is the Board of Executives.

As long as you take notice of differences within and without, as long as you strive to eliminate those differences, as long as there is always something out there which is better, more desirable, life inside the confines of your body and brain will be hell. There will be a continuous need to organise crusades, to humiliate and defeat the beauty of the outside in order to lift our own "spirits". (Humans have even invented a language to justify their actions!) No spirit can ever be "lifted" by hatred, destruction and envy.

Peace in your temple can only be achieved through letting go of these negative emotions and feelings. We don't need to be jealous, to fight for rights, to eliminate injustice. We need to love ourselves as we are and others as they are. We need to love the temple we live in.

Peace can only be achieved by letting go of all those positive emotions and feelings. We don't need to feel we are better than others, have better systems, are more caring. We need to love ourselves as we are and others as they are. We need to love the temple we live in.

Only total Love - no ifs and buts - can give us peace, everlasting and complete. It only is this self-love that can achieve what cannot be achieved through any type of negotiations in any part of the world. A truce is not peace, it is the cessation of war, an interlude. Only through self-love and total compassion for the other, without the urge or the need to interfere, can peace enter your life.

Only that peace will allow total health to come upon you. A temple in which turmoil is unknown is a smooth operation; no strains, no mishaps, no dis-ease.

To Give Love

We all want to be healthy. We all want to heal. Yet, society warns us against self-love in the mistaken belief that this is the cause of all evil. The self-love we talk about here is not a competition between all the Selfs in the world to see who can be king. The self-love we endorse is the kind that loves the Self as it is, without an eye on the outside. For the outside there is only one thought, only one feeling and that is love for those Selves, the same love as we have for the inside.

People care about others and in an effort to ease their suffering we want to help. We send them our love; we want them to heal. Through prayer and meditation we send healing energy to others in need. What is it that we give them?

You give them your love.

This love comes from within your temple. The kind of love this temple emanates is the kind of love you have. The restrictions and modifications you have put on the love that lives in your temple is the kind of love you give to others. All your hates, dislikes, jealousies, wants and needs are part of the love you give. If you don't like who you are, what kind of love do you give to others? If you don't like yourself, how can you empower your gift to others? If you really want others to benefit from your gift to them you will have to first of all find peace within your own temple. You will need to make peace with yourself. You need to Love Yourself.

Out of a chaotic temple come disturbing noises, no symphony.
Out of a messy temple comes poor quality, no gourmet.
Out of a darkened temple come shadows, no light.

Sending healing energy to people is very appropriate but you can only send what you yourself have got. If you don't have Love, you will send them something that you have called love. You are still sending energy but it is more likely to be disturbing to the recipient than healing. And indeed we know that when one is going through a traumatic period that it is not recommended to "give away" energy which is desperately needed at home. If one is not properly "centred" one should not participate in distant healing. When one wants to help others, it is essential that one concentrates on the Self. Heal yourself; never stop healing yourself. When you heal all your own jealousy, hatred, self-importance and arrogance you will automatically radiate healing energy all around you.

In order to help others with healing energy we need to first and foremost love one-self. All of life around us emanates from us. Each of us is the centre of a universe, with life coming from within that centre. If you really are wanting life to be perfect, healthy, and heaven then it is imperative that you love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you cannot create a loving peaceful universe around you. If you don't love yourself, wars and conflict will be on the daily menu of your universe. The same wars that rage inside your temple. Your body will be ravaged by disease and turmoil. Health can only be achieved within the peacefulness of a loving environment.

Health and Self-Love

The physical body is built on the foundations of your Self. It is one expression of the whole You. It is a limited expression with strengths and weaknesses, but ready to serve you in the best possible way. It is not within the remit of this article to analyse what is responsible for the limitations of your body incarnation. We just observe that it is that way. That particular body is the temple you are occupying in this life; the temple that gives you shelter and protection, that allows you to experience and view the world from within its walls, and that sets the boundaries of your existence.

Within those parameters the body will serve you to the best of its ability. The smooth running of the operation depends on the understanding and commitment of the one in charge, you. Your temple is part of a universal evolution and the more you allow your temple to be in tune with the outside forces the smoother the ride will be. The more in tune you are with whatever rocks your temple, the better equipped you will be to balance the outside with the inside.

In order to be in tune one has to get to know oneself as best as possible. This means that a great deal of effort and energy has to be poured into self-analysis. One has to get to Love oneself in order to understand and guide. Intellectual knowledge alone - knowing without embracing that knowledge - plays no positive part in the smooth management of one's temple. It remains essential that one fully commits to the acceptance of the temple's specifications. This full and uncritisizing acceptance is Self-Love. Only then can one be completely in tune with the inner-workings, and from there, with the workings of the total universe.

This Self-Love results in an acceptance of how the temple operates and gives no rise to rebellion and fights at all. If within the walls of your temple all is quiet and peaceful health will be optimal. A disturbance of this balance is per definition disease. Illness occurs when the body is fighting to keep all functions as optimum as possible but is no longer capable of doing so. This can only occur in times of clashes between the Power of Evolution (on the outside) and the Want of the Skipper (on the inside). Health, Healing and Self-Love can not be separated. One cannot exist without the other. One cannot be healthy if one does not love oneself. One has no healing either for someone else or for oneself unless one has unconditional Self-Love.

Unconditional Self-Love brings peace and health to the individual, healing to others, and peace to the world.

November 2002