A short story by Grace Alexander, received by email 20 September 2002  -  Many thanks Grace!

I Smiled

When I recognised the sound of pebbles banging on the underside of the car, and my body rocked, as if on a roller coaster, I sneaked my eyes open.  The feelings this potholed, makeshift road aroused, I’d looked forward to all day and my stomach felt as if a host of butterflies were fluttering madly, trying to escape.  I fidgeted, trying not to disturb my young brother, who’d fallen asleep with his head in my lap.  Our parents were murmuring in the front of the car, and I hoped they wouldn’t realize, I was awake.  I closed my eyes for a few seconds, just to be sure.  Moving my head slowly so when I did reopen them I would see out of the window.  When I felt sure it was safe, I looked out at my beach.  It seems so long ago since I had last seen it, and I felt a mixture of excitement and calmness at the same time.  The moon was hanging, like a big yellow ball in mid flight, creating shadows on the water, and I smiled.

What a night.  I hardly slept but that’s not new.  I spent hours flitting between past memories and sleep.  Struggling to stop the smiles that threaten to split my face wide open.  This is where I love to be and one day when I am old, I will live here and spend all my time collecting agates, and telling anyone who’ll listen the stories I’ve been told and the ones I’ll have of my own.  I peered through the caravan curtain, just to check in my own mind we’d come to the right place.

The sun wasn’t in view yet, but the sky was a newly painted blue colour, with wispy angel hair clouds, and I knew instinctively it soon would be.  I could see Sandy bay shop and I thought of the owner.  The other kids said he was a grumpy, old man.  Not me.  He loves the Maidens almost as much as me.  But then, no-one could ever love it as much as me.  I focussed on the harbour, and the cliff-house.  One day I’ll live in it.  It’s made of wood and painted black and white.  It’s only been about two years since they moved in.  My Papa and me watched as it appeared to grow from the cliffs themselves.  They had invited us in once.  That’s when I decided this was the house I wanted to live in.  The lounge window overlooked the rocky part of the beach, harbour and Ailsa Craig.  It’s a bird sanctuary and reminds me of a huge muffin rising out of the sea.  It stood small in the giant windows.  Yes, I’d thought that one day I would live there and I smiled.

I shuffled out of my sleeping bag, trying to remember if anyone had filled the water tank last night and I realised, I didn’t want to remember.  It was a good excuse for not having a wash.  I rolled up my bedding and attempted to stuff it under the seating, without disturbing my brother.  If he woke up so would my parents and my early morning beach trip would be, ‘after breakfast,’ or ‘after a wash.’ That was the last thing I wanted.  I decided to just leave the bedding neatly rolled up.  I pulled on my bathing suit, it was red and flowery and felt as if it were made from bubbles. I also put shorts and t-shirt on so as not to get a row for not keeping myself covered up.  My heart skipped a beat as I tried to flick the switch on the door handle to release the internal lock.  It sounded like an explosion in the silence. I sneaked out, before I heard ‘Grace, get back to your bed.’  If I heard it I’d have to do it.  I didn’t so I closed the door slowly, trying not to make a noise, then I ran.

I shivered as the cold dew on the grass caressed and tickled my feet.  I hated shoes, especially here.  Jamie must be here I thought as I flew past his caravan, barely taking the time to notice his wet shorts, glistening with sand drying on the stoop.  I reached the roadway.  Hobble, ouch, wobble aargh! The first day always hurt my feet but I knew by the last day I’d be able to sprint over them without a care.  I didn’t like hobbling and wobbling, but it takes too long to pull shoes on and off and I quite often lost them so it’s safer in the long run not to wear them at all.  When I reached the boat-house platform I was able to skip, the surface here smooth on my feet.  I noticed the lack of sea-weed and that the tide was out.  “Yeehaw,” I shrieked as I launched myself into the sand, leaping and dancing towards the shingle.  If there were any decent agates I would find them.  It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to what I was looking for.  My Papa had shown me how to find them.  We have competitions to see who’ll find the best one.  He usually wins, but not this time, I hope.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw it.  Just a tiny dot of pink within the shingle.  I crouched to get a closer look.  It was about the size of a sixpence, beautiful symmetrical lines adorned it’s rough surface.  First one of this holiday I thought as I placed it safely in my pocket.  I didn’t wander too far. I didn’t want a row on our first day of the holiday.  I stood at the water’s edge and stared out towards Ailsa, closing my eyes, breathing slowly, in through my nose and out through my mouth, concentrating on the sounds.  The ebb and flow of the waves as they washed over my feet, the cawing of the seagulls and even the silence that lay beneath the other sounds.  I felt I was in heaven, and I smiled.

I retraced my steps back towards the site.  No-one appeared to be up yet.  I wiped my sandy feet on the dewy grass and quietly opened the door, just a tiny click and I was inside.  I pulled at my clothes trying to fold them as best as I could, whilst trying to put my nightie back on.  I rolled out my bed and clambered inside.  Much later, I heard mum.

“Ian did you forget to lock this door last night?”

“No. I’m sure I did it.”

“Well it’s not locked now.”

“Strange.  I could swear I did. Never mind.”

I breathed deeply, closed my eyes and I smiled.