FINALE

(Demonstrators from the separatist
Ewell Liberation Front are blocking the way
for the hero and heroine to reach the church to get married
when four fairy policemen swoop down and carry them over the heads of the demonstrators: this is seen only by the leader of the ELFs, who sees the error of his ways, and tells his fellow ELFs to look up:)

       PIGS CAN FLY

I've marched the country over
No town have I passed by
From Aberdeen to Exeter
They've heard my plaintive cry
I thought that I'd seen everything
But, glory, see on high!

Look up there
    Up in the sky
Lift that head
    Strain that eye
Do what I say
    Don't ask why
Glory glory
    Me oh my
PIGS CAN FLY
You know me
    I'm no spy
You know I
    Would never lie
You know I'm
    An honest guy
It must be so
    For so say I
PIGS CAN FLY

My life is changed, no more I hate
No man is now my foe
I used to think I knew it all
But now at last I know
That love will conquer anything...
So I'll love the status quo

Look up there
    Stop the show
Juliet's married
   Her Romeo
Every belle
    Shall marry a beau
Doh ray me fah
    Me ray doh
PIGS ARE GO
Don't be timid
    Don't be slow
Go tell Henry
   Go tell Joe
Go tell Gertrude
    Go tell Flo
Sing it high
    Sing it low
PIGS ARE GO

I'll march no more, for I have seen
The wonderfullest things
I'll settle down and I'll enjoy
Whate'er the future brings
But first... I'll march abroad and tell
Prime Minsters and Kings:

Fortune has
    No arrows or slings
No dog bites
    No bee stings
No snake hisses
    No limpet clings
No more catches
    No more strings
PIGS HAVE WINGS
In the church
    The wedding-bell rings
No more roundabouts
    Only swings
No more winters
    Only springs
The tortoise leaps
    The aardvark sings
PIGS HAVE WINGS

        REPRISE: EPSOM AND EWELL
               (whole cast,
including the fairy policemen and the now-married couple)

Epsom and Ewell
    Epsom and Ewell
We met again in Epsom and Ewell

Epsom and Ewell-tide will last the whole year through
    Ewell be for Epsom as I'll be for you
Epsom and Ewell-tide will last the whole year through
Ewell be for Epsom
    And I'll be for you
(policemen) Be for you

                             CURTAIN