The IKB Show

Unit 1 (IKB tells of his early difficulties - Father sent to debtor’s prison.. IKB secures his release and is rewarded with a Partnership in Thames Tunnel.); (Parts for IKB, Father, 4 other; small groups of Duns, Feeble Firemen, Boot Boys, Creditors, Police, Warders, Prisoners, D.of Wellington & cronies, Newspaper Boys - to illustrate scene in mime, to improvise short sketches, to perform 1st Machine movement); IKB My Father was an Engineer; Came over to England from France; He made us a name and he made his fame; But he led us a merry old dance:; He made tackles and blocks for the Naval Docks; To help to rig the sails; But no money came in and the fam'ly grew thin; Now ev'rybody wails; Duns' Scene; (Pa Brunel looking at plans; Ma at her bills; Kids playing patacake. Cue line "Now ev'rybody wails"); Kids: Waah!; Ma: Ten shillings for the baker; a guinea for the grocer...Oh Brunel!; Pa: Don't worry, my little cherry pie; when I sell zese, nossing can 'urt us!; Duns: Knock Knock Knock!; Pa: Sacre bleu! It's ze Duns!; Dun 1: Come on out, you Froggies!; Dun 2: We know you're in there,; Dun 3 And we want our MONEY!; Pa: Oh! My little turnip, what shall I do?; Ma: Quick! Under the table!; Dun 1: 'ere, missus, open up!; Dun 2: Cough up!; Dun 3: Or be had up!; Ma: Yes?; Dun 1: Now, Mrs Brunel, what's the excuse today?; Ma: Well, you’ll never believe this....; Duns Ho Ho Ho!; Dun 1: Go on: tell us - the kids've got chicken pox?; Dun 2: Yer 'usband's dahn the boozer?; Dun 3: Yer rich Gran hasn't died yet?; Ma: No...but she's got a tickly cough!; Dun 3: We can't give credit for a tickly cough! ...Couldn't stand her; in a draught, could you?; Ma: Ugh! Monsters!; Chorus It's not very nice to be poor as church mice; It's not very thrilling I'm sure; When Ma has to creep in the back way for; The Duns are at the door!; IKB My Father, being an Engineer; Gave a calm philosophical smile; And calmed mother's fears and soothed her tears; With "A miss is as good as a mile"; "The Navy has failed us; our creditors nailed us; But we are not going to be vexed:; The Army wants boots for its soldiers' foots; So zat is what I will make next!"; Bootmakers' Scene.; Bootmakers enter with boots, hammers. They sit crosslegged and begin work.; Boot 3 Here we are, lads: another basket of boots hot off M Brunel's Patent Boot Press:; Boot 1 Oh no:; Boot 2 Is there no end'? We make 'em by the thousand....; Boot l For our gallant lads....; Boot 2 …Who're away at the wars...; Boot 3 Fighting Froggies....; All Just like Brunel: (hammering); Boot 1 Where is he?; Boot 2 Must be having such a dream about making his fortune he's slept in.; Pa Sorry, my men: I 'ad to come the long way round: ze Duns are bothering me again.; Boot 3 This came (an important-looking letter); Pa It will be a wonderful letter from ze Duck de Wellington, telling me ‘ee needs more; boots. (opening it) Now I will never 'ave to worry about money again:; Boot 1 What's up?; Pa Look:; Boot 1 Stopped the War?....; Boot 2 Peace with France?; Boot 3 Troops return?....; All SO NO MORE BOOTS??; Pa I...I...I will sell them:; All BUT MR BRUNEL, THEY’RE ALL LEFT-FOOTED!!; Chorus: Oh we all sing together you cannot eat leather; And it's not very thrilling I'm sure; When ma loses her wits and falls into fits; For the Duns are at the door!; IKB My Father still was an engineer; And so did not care an atom:; he'd plenty of schemes for new machines; at the Dockyards down at Chatham.; As they sawed up the logs at the Isle of Dogs; We thought he’d saved our bacon; But a terrible fire made his hopes expire; We saw we were mistaken!; Firemen Scene; Fire 1 I like these summer evenings…; Fire 2 So calm…; Fire 3 So peaceful…; Fire 1 And you can still hear a nightingale…; Fire 2 Singing…; Fire 3 In Berkeley Square!; All Aaah!; Pa Au secours! Au secours! Ma scierie est en feu!; All Sssh!; Pa ma scierie…; Fire 1 Oh my gawd, an Eyetie!; Fire 2 What’s up, mate?; Fire 3 What you tryin’ to tell us?; Pa "Help help my sawmill is on fire"; Fire 1 Sawmill, eh?; Fire 2 Nasty things, sawmills.; Fire 3 Too much wood about.; Fire 1 We keep telling them…; All But do they listen? Naw!; Fire 1 Are you sure it’s on fire?; Pa Oui!; Fire 2 Not just having a gentle smoulder?; Pa Oui – I mean – yes, of course it’s on fire!; Fire 3 "Wee wee?" He’s talkin’ Frog!; Pa You onnerstand?; All Wee wee!; Pa You will come?; All Wee wee!; Pa What can you use to put it out?; All W –; Fire 1 ‘Ten shun!; Fire 2 It won’t be too hot, will it? The thing is, I get this heat-rash…; Pa !; Fire 2 …come out in lumps, I do, all over.; Fire 3 Well, I would go, but me Mum wants me in…; Pa !; Fire 3 …to wash me hair.; Fire 1 Now you don’t want this gentleman to think you’re scared, do you?; Fire 2&3 We’re not scared! …We’re petrified!; Fire 1 Will there be medals?; Pa Of course!; Fire 2 Fame?; Pa Naturally!; Fire 3 And a nice mug of cocoa?; Pa Gallons!; All We-ell…; Fire 1 We’ll think about it…; Fire 2 The thing is…; Fire 3 We’re very busy…; Fire 1 We’re just off to a nice small fire in Woolwich.; All So ta-ta for now…. So calm… So peaceful…. Etc.; Pa (sinking to the ground) I am ruined, ruined, ruined!; Duns Mr Brunel?; Pa Yes?; Duns WE WANT OUR MONEY!; Chorus Oh we’re all in the red and we're not getting fed; And it's not very thrilling I'm sure; As Ma counts our ribs and has to tell fibs; For the Duns who're at the door!; (Mime: Duns and Police arrest Father & Family - but not IKB - and convey them to Prison which Warders rapidly erect, while Chorus sing:); Chorus (unfeeling chant); They took him off to Prison; In the back of a Black Maria; They siezed his bag and baggage; And his faithful wife Sophia; And all the guards and turnkeys; Raised a mighty shout; "A fitting fate for Froggies; And we'll see you never get out!"; IKB & Chorus; Oh! Oh! A young man's doomed to fail; When he's trying to make a name for himself; But his father's cast in jail; Movement sequence with song: Prisoners mime prison tasks: treadmill, or gin mill, stones, oakum picking, etc. The Family mimes distraction. IKB has spoken scenes (improvised) with Father’s supporters.; Chorus(doleful): Oh Poverty's a shameful thing; Almost it is next door to sin; When you've an execution in; You're wringing your hands for shame.; You think of your unhappy life; Your starving child, your wretched wife; In Prison you encounter strife; And think of your blackened name.; (Chorus hums) (IKB Petitions - spoken improvised); The doors will only swing one way; Until you find the means to pay; You might remain till your dying day; And no-one care at all; The world will forget you've ever been; Once you have withdrawn from the general scene; The prospect looks bleak when times are lean; 'Pride goeth before a Fall'; Pride goeth.....; Pride goeth......; (IKB Petitions again - success!); You lay down your head and being to grieve; And scrub at your eyes with the cuff of your sleeve; For never again will you dare believe; That anyone ever will bring...; IKB REPRIEVE! (advances with release order); Chorus: (oratorio style); Reprieve! Reprieve! Freedom!; Release and Restoration!; IKB (spoken): Assisted by my father's friends; Who recognize his merit; And hope to reap the benefit; Of his first-rate brain and mechanical wit; I've brought his trials to an end; The good all will inherit!; Chorus:; Genius! Genius! Projects!; Great Good unto the nation!; Mother: As I remarked not long before; You came here to your father; 'That boy will be a Great Man, dear; He'll not forsake us, never fear; To a mother's mind it is quite clear; He'll rescue us from being poor; We'll wind up wealthy, rather!; Chorus:; Riches! Riches! Fortune!; Relief and Jubilation!; Father:; I'll make you part of a partnership; 'MARC AND ISAMBARD BRUNNEL'; We'll soon bounce back from this disgrace; And once more look the world in the face; Soon everyone will take a trip; To see my GREAT THAMES TUNNEL; Chorus:; SEE SEE THE CONQUERING; HERO COMES; JUST AS IT IS WITH FATHERS; SO SHALL IT BE WITH SONS!!
: (Quick change to Unit 2: Thames Tunnel.)

1997

The performing materials can be supplied.
mailto: cade.york@virgin.net