About Counselling
What is Relationship Counselling ?We usually turn to Counsellors for outside help, when we are going through difficult times in our lives. We may feel sad, hurt, angry, betrayed, afraid, overwhelmed, or shamed. We may be experiencing a crisis in our lives, or a problem that impacts on our relationships. Our relationships may be the problem. All sorts of people come to Connect and find it helps them to understand what’s going on in their relationships and change things for the better. |
You will also find information about how to help yourself on many of these pages. Of course we can share our problems with friends who may be very supportive, but may get too involved or upset by what we’re sharing. Our problems may be too intimate to share with people who know us, or our friends may not be able to listen very well.
Counselling is often called “talking therapy” because the benefit gained comes from the talking that takes place between you and your counsellor. Sharing your concerns can often help you clarify the problem yourself. This may sound simple but very often, when we are having difficulties and our thoughts whirl around in ever decreasing circles, then explaining it all to someone who does not know any of the people involved can be extremely helpful. You may find yourself expanding your thinking again bringing a greater insight and awareness of your problem.
Connect counselors are trained to listen and they will try to understand what you’re both feeling. They will reflect this back to you so that you both come to understand the issues more clearly. You will not be given advice or opinions but will be offered an opportunity to look at your situation from several angles so that you can decide for yourself what you would like to do about it. Sometimes there are problems in relationships because people have never been taught how to resolve conflicts, or communicate in ways that bring about closeness and intimacy. Often people don’t understand the hidden dynamics of relationships. Working with a Connect counsellor will give you the opportunity to learn and discover skills and understanding that will enable you to change the course of your relationship. You will be helped to recognise and draw on your own strengths and resources. You may even discover new qualities you didn't know you had. Not only is counselling a place to explore difficult issues, its also a space in which to learn, grow and develop.
However, counselling is not just about thinking. It is very much about expressing feelings. How you express your feelings is personal and we all have individual ways of doing this. Being able to share how you feel about yourself and others with your counsellor and having your feelings heard and respected can be extremely helpful in facilitating change.
As you begin to understand and acknowledge your feelings you may be able to start changing patterns of behavior which keep recurring and causing difficulties. In order to understand your feelings you may need to look at the past and see where such feelings originated and how they developed. A Connect counsellor will be able to explore this with you. Gradually, you may become aware of how your past is influencing the present and how this affects your feelings about yourself and your relationships.