Iron Maiden - Metal 2000 The spirit of metal did not die when Bruce Dickinson left Iron Maiden. It merely lay dormant in the hearts and minds of young and old alike, awaiting his return ... Arriving just in time to catch the beginning of Entombed, I soon realised that it was going to be a dissappointing set. It's not that I don't like their brand of death 'n roll, it's just that their sound was diabolical. Every time they started a song, my hopes soared, as chugging riffs and great guitars echoed around the massive venue that is Earl's Court. And every time the vocals began, my hopes were dashed. Now, I like roaring. I think it's good, and it requires a certain amount of guts just to get up there and shout down a microphone for thirty minutes in front of 25,000 people. I mean, at least if you're a singer, you can know you're good, but roaring? Where's the yard-stick, er? Entombed, it must be noted, have an excellent roaring frontman who, on top form (I am told), makes their live sound great. Well, he wasn't on bad form, but whoever was doing the mixing should be shot. I don't understand it, to be honest. I mean, everytime I see a band play a pub-gig, the vocals sound appaling, because they're always at the wrong level. But at Earl's Court? Something had gone seriously arwy (and you spell that how?), and, much to the disappointment of everyone present, Entombed were a long way below par. It would be harsh to grade them on the sound they produced (woops, I'll do it anyway - 4/10), and instead I really ought to grade them on what they would have produced, had the vocal-mixing not gone so hideously wrong (that'll be 9/10 then). If you get a chance to see Entombed live, I suggest you do. They have a lot of talent - maybe not that original, but, at a Maiden concert, who's going to care much - and they have a long way to go. Yes, I mean that. They will one day do something bigger than second support for Iron Maiden ... maybe first support.

When I first heard that Slayer (10/10) were going to support, I was, to be honest, disappointed. Not as disapointed as I would have been if Slipknot had supported, but disappointed none the less. Pity me, oh Slayer, for I was a fool to doubt you. Only having seen Slayer live did I realise that I had never given them the time, respect or awe they deserve. Simply put, they rule. I can't give a crisp review for this band. Apart from anything, it wouldn't do justice to their raw energy, but most of all, it was because I moshed for the whole set and can't remember the set list. I remember bits of it vividly though. Obviously having the right sleeve torn off my Hawaiian shirt was upsetting (oh pity the fool who moshes to Slayer wearing a Hawaiian shirt - forsooth he is a very big target ...), but the guy responsible was really apologetic, so I couldn't even work myself into a blind rage of blood-lust. Best recollection of the night goes to a dialogue between myself and another mosher. "I'm too tired to carry on" says I. Replies he: "I know man, so am I. But do it for the metal." "For the metal" I reply, and make the metal-sign with both hands, crossing them solemnly in front of my shoulders. Rockcellent. Other memories include the beloved satanic frontman screaming "This is a song about pain - because that's all we are ..." and, of course, the obligatory Reign in Blood. Frankly, Slayer's image pisses me off. As does the try-hardness of some of their fans. Not the ones who mosh - anyone I met in the mosh, you rule - but the ones who stand there in Slayer T-shirts, being as evil as they can. Goats, horns, pentagrams, blood, satanic-glyphs and other assorted occult paraphenalia have never suited my complexion, and black makes me look like a French mime-artiste. Slayer are blinding - the solos are incredible, the energy and enthusiasm mind-blowing and they gel like only Trevor Sorbie knows how. It's a shame they can't do it without mentioning animal-sacrifices in every song, but y'know, beggars can't be chosers et al.

So Slayer walked off, and I suppose that it was about then that I realised that I was going to see Iron Maiden (off the scale)!!! I also realised that I'd lost at least a stone in weight in the Slayer mosh, and that I was pretty severely dehydrated. So dehydrated in fact that I was to spend the next hour and a half in a bordering-on-consciousness state, and yet I stoically refused to crowd-surf out for water until I realised I was going to collapse if I carried on. But no matter - I was here to see the Irons, and see them I did. Oh my, did I see them. In fact, I didn't stop seeing them until two weeks later, when I had my first waking moment which did not involve me either talking about them or quietly contemplating their brilliance. What can you say about Maiden? I mean, really? Well, for one thing they are definately old, as has been rumoured. And for another they totally rock! Bruce is, simply, the best frontman the world has ever seen. For two hours (that's two hours) he screamed as only he knows how. I can't hit the notes he does on a one-of. He solidly does for an entire set. And no review would be complete without a mention of his between-song banter. "Shall we burn the little witchy-woos?" has to be my favourite phrase, although "SCREAM FOR ME EARL'S COURT" has that good-'ol Donnington feel to it. "On the count of three I want you all to go f*cking mental - 123" also goes down in my little-book-of-banter, purely for the spectacular delivery of the line. Women want him. Men want to be him. He rules. Enough Bruce-mania (did I mention he was better than a certain ex-Maiden frontman, who shall henceforth be referred to as Mr Baize Blailey?). The rest of the band rule as well. Harmonised guitar solos from three world-class guitarists, the largest drum kit I have ever seen and the worst clothes a bassist has ever worn make Iron Maiden the (THE) band to see live. That's without the live extravanganza they feel compelled to lay on, including a 50ft wicker man complete with dancing sacraficial virgins (from the way they dance they are NOT virgins ...), jets of flame, numerous back-drops and a flaming crucifix for Sign of the Cross.

On an ever-so-slightly critical note, Maiden should not do Sign of the Cross live. When you think how many songs they have which they could play, it vexes me (I am terribly vexed) as to why they persist in playing it. They could, for example, play Aces High or Powerslave instead. Now THAT would rule. It was also bad choreography to play Sign of the Cross (10 minutes) right before The Clansman (also 10 minutes). But those are small potatoes. The Irons were brave tonight, doing six songs from their new album (A Brave New World - it rules), and, although one of those was the somewhat unfortunate "Blood Brothers" (with the most-catchy/infuriating refrain in the world), their faith in their new material paid-off. There were, of course, the obligatory classics, such as Fear of The Dark, Number of the Beast, The Trooper, I'm sorry I've just come, Iron Maiden and The Clansman, and they still play them with awesome drive and finesse. There is no way that ANYONE watching Iron Maiden can fail to be impressed. Did I mention that there was a lot of widdling? We are talking major fret-wank here. I just thought I should comment. In fact, it's such an important point, it merits a whole paragraph. Much of which will be taken up with me, sitting down, jaw touching the keyboard, drooling out of the right-hand-side of my mouth in memory of the soloage. Right, that's that then. Maiden are often criticised for being old, unoriginal, unmusical, uninspiring sell-outs who rely on cheap gimmicks. Well, they are old, they aren't very original and they are sell-outs reliant on cheap gimmicks. Sorry about the last one, hardcore fans, but it isn't a criticism. It's their perogative, really. They can rant about the popular music press as much as they like, but you know that they'd love to be immensely popular as well. For them, it clearly is important that they can pack out Earl's Court (and why shouldn't it be), but they aren't just in it for the metal (see Slayer fans). Any band that releases a computer game and best-of CDs must be interested in money and gimmicks to a degree but hey, I own that computer game and it is pretty cool. Fine, their live shows do feature a lot of expensive tricks, fine they are a cheesey, cliche-ridden metal band, but hang-on: that's the point. They are the Spinal Tap of today. Part self-parody, part the-greatest-band-that-ever-walked-the-planet, they rule the world of metal in this Millenium and will do until the day they die. If you ever get a chance to see them, then do. Please. For your own sake. These guys are the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be.