Finally, what did I do to the Reds last month!  Much praise has been followed by a string of poor results over the last four weeks, so now they languish in mid table.  No doubt the protracted discussions over the transfer of ownership may be slightly unsettling but the players have to leave all that to the legal eagles and concentrate on playing football.  The lads who play on Sunday mornings up and down the country - and pay their subscriptions - get up to play because they want to: professional footballers should realise just how lucky they are, and give their best every time they turn out.  If any of them fancy a change for a week they can come and do my job, at my rate of pay, and I'll have a go at theirs on their money.  Come on, somebody out there must want a fifty-year-old goalkeeper with dodgy knees, a paunch and a need to wear contact lenses!  And at least when I dive I'm not trying to cheat anyone!

The best sporting headline I've seen in years celebrated the actions of Arsenal's Robert Pires with "The best French diver since Jaques Custeau".  The newspaper was spot on, as was the global condemnation which followed.  Not only were the press, Portsmouth manager Harry Rednapp and his players vociferous in their complaints, but the PFA and League Managers Association also appeared to be supportive.  Now it all seems to have blown over as easily as Pires himself was blown over.  However, let's not pretend that this is something which the European players have introduced into our game.  I think back over the years and remember a Championship-winning side from Manchester having a player who fell over so much in the area, then jumped up to score from the spot, that his nickname became Lee-won-pen!  Francis Lee, now a millionaire businessman who retains strong links with Manchester City, must have every sympathy with Pires and none for the game of football.  There have been many other instances where the camera has caught out a cheat, yet the result has been allowed to stand.  Last weekend my paper had photographs of a fat scruffy slob playing golf - not walking round as you or I might, but using an electric buggy.  On a scale of one to ten, my sympathy for Diego Maradonna didn't even register, but I have to admit that next time he plays I will be praying for his electric buggy to have a power surge.

So, once the Pires case is swept under the carpet again, what is the best way forward?  Does anyone watch the Rugby League on Sky TV?  Next chance you get, spend at least half an hour watching a spectacle where the referee is treated with respect by the players, and any contentious decision is ruled upon by a referee 'upstairs' with all the necessary television camera angles available to him.  OK, so the decision could take a minute, but at least it is the right decision.  I have the greatest respect for Sky's Andy Gray: he knows exactly how to use the electronic wizardry to provide a quick and fair appraisal of any situation, so if the Sky cameras are available to the Football League and the FA, why don't they make use of them?  Will Carling had a phrase for the 'blazers' who used to run Rugby Union: let's hope that the old f**ts haven't just moved across into football and are unwilling to move into the twenty first century.