When Ian returned from the GP having received the results of his sperm count I remember saying flippantly "Are they swimming backwards...do they need armbands?" He just replied "They're not swimming at all". The rest of the evening was spent crying and wondering what on earth we were going to do.

Seven years on we are the parents of Emma age 5 and Rachael age 21 months both conceived through DI.

We joined the network fairly recently mainly for support in telling the girls of their origins and attended our first meeting in Nottingham in September 1999. We were both a bit unsure of what to expect and felt that if there was a lot of chest beating and wailing we would probably leave quietly. We came away from the day feeling very positive as we had met so many positive people who were committed to being open with their children as to how they had been conceived.

It was good to talk to people who knew EXACTLY what you were saying, had been there themselves, had the same anxieties about telling their children etc. etc. It was also good to hear from people who had already told their children and how they had gone about it.

I personally found it heartening to meet other men who are infertile to know that Ian is not alone, and that other couples have possibly had to face the "Do we stay together even though we can't have children together" scenario. Ian brought this up in the early days of his diagnosis and all I can say to him now is that I can't imagine bringing up children with anyone other than him...he is a brilliant dad and a very supportive partner.

We will definitely be attending future meetings and will bring the girls along too. It would be good to think that in the future they will gain support from being with/talking to other DI children when they begin to fully understand the implications of their conception.

Following the meeting I have two regrets - one is that I am too old to be an egg donor as I would gladly help other infertile couples and the second is that we didn't join the network earlier!