ERROL'S PAGE

The Diary of Errol the Feral

A series of articles written by Errol, one of our Sponsorship cats, who rules the roost at his long-term foster home.

These articles have appeared in Cat Chat, our quarterly magazine. They give an insight into the life of the feral cats at Lamorna (one of our foster homes) where they live with Cat Woman and Feral Man.

We will gradually bring events up to date, showing all the articles Errol has written over the years.

Summer 2003

Monday 23 June 2003 - Hi fans. Here it is, the lazy days of Summer. Not all that different from the normal "daze" around here except Summer Camp is now set up and over-night forays are on. See a rabbit, pause, doze, wake up, rabbit gone, blast. Still, plenty more where that came from.

Now, there is a serial killer in our ranks and possibly her name should be changed to protect her, but still that is not my style so I'll give you a clue or two. Her name begins with D and ends with N and it happens every morning just as night is ending. Yep, you've got it; I know you have, so the truth's out - she's lethal.

You have to hand it to her, she's fast, but when you look at the tank traps that follow her around, most wild life would surrender rather than have the heavies set on them. Cat Woman tries her best but you don't want to witness the struggle of trying to put collars and bells on a finely tuned feral - ugh, so much blood!!

Anyway, what else has been happening - let me think.

Friday 27 June - No, not a lot really. Well, I lie. Cat Woman has been going off a lot - now then, no giggling - I mean with the bouncing bomb, Tess the pesky collie. Cat Woman even came back the other day waving a rosette - brilliant, we all thought, well done old girl - sold her at last? - best in show? No, just a clear round at agility. She shouldn't be shaking all her bits about at her age, but you can't tell her. Then complete chaos when, having celebrated in her inimitable way - that is, running around going yippee - she then entertains the grandchildren from hell, who manage to evict every cat from every corner in every room in ten seconds flat.

Now "feral" means wild and we were furious (he!, he!). A gathering of about 15 cats converged into the field and two days later there were 4 of our little band of wildies still missing. For myself I did spend one night on child watch from the vantage point of four trees down the lane, but one can only do so much and when I heard the pitiful call of "Erroleeeee" coming from Cat Woman I thought I should make her suffer a bit more. What does that say about me, eh? Going without food and confort just to make a point. But I couldn't do it to her so I returned to base camp and neatly avoided cuddles and kisses by hissing - smart move don't you think?

Now here's a snippet I overheard - which just goes to prove the old saying "eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves". Cat Woman talking on the phone to that nice lady Doreen, who's our official Cat Photographer Woman. Now, wait for it and brace yourselves - "Cat Bar-B-Q". (Gulp.) Cat Woman - "Ha, ha, don't bring your own, I'e got plenty here; enough for everyone." Me, fast exit!! I'll have to blow the whistle on her this time - she's gone too far. I'm turning grey tabby at the thought of it. First the cat kitchen and now a Cat Bar-B-Q.

Oh, it's alright - she's joking! They're all off to Sylvia's for the Committee Summer Bun Fight. Crikey, she had me going that time! Now which tree shall I chose thie time?? I'll show her.

Chow for now. Luv Errol the Feral

Hi there!! I've finally got the appreciation I deserve and now I have my own page on this website. And about time too!!!

I'll keep you up to date with the action here at Camp Lamorna and, hopefully, bring you lots more photos of me - I know I am incredibly photogenic, but don't often find time to pose for the photographer.

The one on the right shows me on patrol in the lane - you can see how beautifully I melt into the background here, which enables me to pick up all sorts of information, which I will, of course, pass on to you.

Enjoy.