Be safe - Take precautions
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile.
- My reasons are numerous and after being married for 7 years and having 7 children,
- I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are totally useless.
- After getting married, I was advised to use the 'Rhythm Method' despite
- Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured
myself doing the Cha Cha,
- apart from which, where do you get a band at
5 o'clock in the morning?.
A doctor suggested we use the 'Safe Period'. At the time we were
living with in-laws
- and we had to wait 3 weeks for a 'safe period',
when the house was empty. Needless to
- say, this did not work.
A lady of several years experience informed me that if we made love
- feeding we would be alright. Its hardly 'Newcastle Brown
Ale' but I did finish up with
- a clear smooth skin, silky hair and felt
healthy - and my wife was pregnant.
Another old wife's tale we heard was that my wife jumped up and down
- intercourse, this would prevent pregnancy. After constant breast
feeding including my
- earlier attempts, if my wife jumped up and down
she would finish with two black eyes
- and eventually knock herself
I asked the 'Chemist' about the 'Sheath'. The Chemist demonstrated how
easy it was
- for me to use, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant
again which doesn't surprise
- me, as I fail to see how a durex stretched
over the thumb. as the chemist showed me can
- prevent pregnancy.
She was then supplied with the coil and after several unsuccessful
attempts to fit it, we
- realized we had got a left hand thread and my
wife is definitely a right-handed screw.
The 'Dutch Cap' came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not
- our sex life at all, but alas it did give my wife
severe headaches. we were given the
- largest size available, but it
was still too tight across the fore-head.
Finally we tried the 'Pill'. At first it kept falling out, then we
realized we were doing it
- wrong. My wife started putting it between
her knees, thus preventing me getting near
- her. This did work for a
while until the night she forgot the pill.
You must appreciate my problem. If this operation is unsuccessful I
will have to revert
- to oral sex although just talking about it can
never substitute for the real thing.