(None of which can I claim ownership)
I feel like a delayed hallucination ~~~ I'll see you in a minute, then!
I feel like a unkempt Nun ~~~ My, my, that's a dirty habit!
I feel like a chair thief ~~~ Please take a seat, then!
I think Iím a bridge? ~~~ Whatís come over you? ~~~ Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
I feel like an electric fan ~~~ Well blow me!
Youíve got to help me, I canít stop my hands shaking! ~~~
Do you drink a lot? ~~~
Not really, I spill most of it!
My daughter has swallowed my pen,
what should I do? ~~~
Use a pencil.
I keep thinking Iím a dog ~~~
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it ~~~
But, Iím not allowed up on the couch!
I think Iím a cat? ~~~
How long has this been going on? ~~~
Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!
Iím not well, can you give me something to make me better? ~~~
Take 2 teaspoons of this after every meal ~~~
But, Doctor, I've only got one teaspoon?
When I press with my finger here... it hurts,
and here... it hurts, and here... and here...
What do you think is wrong with me? ~~~
You have a broken finger!
Well Miss, Iíve discovered your problem, you are pregnant! ~~~
Oh, is it mine?
Iíve got wind! Can you give me something? ~~~ Yes, hereís a kite!
Doctor, you know Iíve been complaining of hearing a ringing
sound for years? Well, today I have good news and bad news.
The good news is I donít hear the ringing anymore! ~~~
And whatís the bad news?
~~~ Now I hear the engaged tone!