A woman goes into the local newapaper office to see that the obituary
for her recently deceased husband is written. The obituaries editer
informs her that the fee is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and
then says, well then, let it read "Fred Brown died."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editer tells her that there is a
7 word minimum for all obituaries. Only a little flustered, she thinks
things over and in a few seconds says, in that case, let it read,
"Fred Brown died 1983
Pickup for sale."
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that it
was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.
He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store and asked the shop
assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she replied, "Which Barbie?" She continued
, "We have Barbie Goes To The Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Ball
for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Beach
for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie
for $255.00".
Ralph asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $255.00 when all the others
are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious" the sales lady said. "Divorced Barbie comes with
Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture".
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, "I'll
have a rum and coke" the bartender reaches behind the bar and pulls
up an apple. The guy says, "What the hell is this?!" the bartender says,
"Take a bite out of one side of the apple." The man bites it, and finds
it tastes like rum. He tries the other side, and it tastes like coke.
Impressed, the man says, Ok, I'll have a gin and tonic." The bartender
pulls up another apple. The man bites each side, one side tastes gin,
the other like tonic.
Then the man says, "I'll have something that
tastes like pussy." The bartender pulls up another apple. The man
eagerley bites into the apple, then spits it out. He says "God damm,
that tastes like shit!!" the bartender says " try the other side."
A woman goes into the local newapaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obituaries editer informs her that the fee is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, well then, let it read "Fred Brown died."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editer tells her that there is a 7 word minimum for all obituaries. Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, in that case, let it read,
"Fred Brown died 1983
Pickup for sale."
He drove to the mall, ran to the toy store and asked the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she replied, "Which Barbie?" She continued , "We have Barbie Goes To The Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes To The Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $255.00".
Ralph asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $255.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious" the sales lady said. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture".
Impressed, the man says, Ok, I'll have a gin and tonic." The bartender pulls up another apple. The man bites each side, one side tastes gin, the other like tonic.
Then the man says, "I'll have something that tastes like pussy." The bartender pulls up another apple. The man eagerley bites into the apple, then spits it out. He says "God damm, that tastes like shit!!" the bartender says " try the other side."