~~~ Short Jokes ~~~

A wealthy man needed a brain transplant. His doctor said he had two choices. One was a college professor at the cost of £10,000. The second choice was a famous politician for £500,000. The patient asked why so expensive? The doctor replied, "It's never been used!" ~~~~~~ How many redheaded woman have been born in the United Kingdom?
None....only redheaded babies! ~~~~~~ WOMEN DO NOT BELCH....
WOMEN DO NOT SNORE....
WOMEN DO NOT TOOT!
THEREFORE, THEY MUST BITCH OR THEY WILL BLOW UP!
~~~~~~ Where does a worm go in a corn field? In one ear and out the other.
~~~~~~ How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Its not known. It's never happened yet. ~~~~~~ Marriages are made in heaven, but then so are thunder and lightning!
~~~~~~ Money talks......but things have been reeeeeal quiet around our house lately. ~~~~~~ Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
~~~~~~ The other day, life flashed before my eyes. it was aweful......I hate reruns.
~~~~~~ We had a tough day at the office yesterday. The computers were all down and everyone had to think!
~~~~~~ Now I know why it's called "voice mail". By the time you get through to an actual person, you might as well have sent a letter.
~~~~~~ What are the reasons that women don't mind their own business? No mind......no business!
~~~~~~ The only time a man takes a bubble bath is after he's had beans for dinner.
~~~~~~ What letters are not in the alphabet? The ones in the post office. ~~~~~~