Day 1 – Norwich, Waterfront

In a bid to neatly side-step criticisms of rock star behaviour we have opted to travel in a mini-bus on this tour. This is, of course, environmentally friendly and a serious aid in the search for parking spaces. Sadly though it also means that ‘in-flight’ entertainment consists of staring at the back of Karl’s head and watching Dufus (soundman) playing space invaders on his mobile phone. Oh the glamour of rock ‘n roll.

We meet up with Guano Apes and old friends Lost Prophets and run free like children through the cavernous environs of the Waterfront. The usual procedures of loading in, soundchecking, awaiting the arrival of a late band (in this case Miocene) and repeatedly questioning the tour manager about food follows.

Tonight I miss Miocene as I’m engaged in interviews but I get out front for Lost Prophets. By the time their 30min slot has finished I am scraping my jaw off the floor. They project more energy and passion that a Mardi Gras. Without doubt the best band I have seen in years.

Guano Apes follow and explode across the stage, quickly providing a capable demonstration of exactly why they are a world class band. Their immense success is obviously deserved and I wouldn’t be surprised if they really took off in the UK.

After two months blasting through Europe with Pitchshifter and Soulfly we are primed for performance. Being on home turf lends a different, more personable, atmosphere to the show and the 45min set just flies by. Nice gig.

The drive home also proves entertaining as certain members of our party regale us with anecdotal tales of a stabbing, a kidnapping and a bout of anal pleasuring! Just thought I’d mention that.

 

Day 2 – Tunbridge Wells, Forum

Playing toilets is all part of the character building process that dominates band’s early lives, but Tunbridge Wells surpasses most places by actually having a venue in a toilet. Ok – it has been converted from its original incarnation as a public convenience, but still the attention to detail is heart warming. (As the venue holds 200+ people we need to ask just how big these toilets originally were!).

Tonight’s show is not part of the Evolution Fest so we have different supports. In this case – Caution and Dead Life Portrait (previously Breakneck).

Caution assault the crowd with a nasty concoction of hardcore and metal. They put their heart and soul into it and deserve a better response than they get. 

DLP are so monumentally late that their set looks like being cancelled. But miraculously they arrive in the nick of time. Their brand of Neurosis style sludgery is not kid-friendly, but it makes a welcome change from the nu-metal by numbers that is becoming so common in the UK.

Our show is being watched by our American friend from Columbia Records (see end of Pitchshifter diary for more info). Last time he saw us we had a few problems. Tonight we want to show him what we can REALLY do. In the cramped confines of the Forum we attempt to do this, aided and abetted by the lunatic crowd. All goes well until somebody slices Karl's microphone lead with a stanley knife. Tut tut. Karl switches mics and eyeballs the crowd. The youth of today eh!

Regardless of acts of mindless violence we get through the gig and hopefully create some kind of impression on our American associate. We'll see...

 

Day 3 – Newport, TJ’s

We roll into Wales with sleep deprived eyes squinting against the sun.

TJ’s is a cool venue and Johnny (the promoter) is a joy to work with. Added to which this is virtually home territory for the Lost Prophets. We are all excited about tonight.

As the daily grind is plowed through I make the tactical error of leaving the venue to get some clothes from the van. Immediately outside the doors I bump into some people queuing for the gig. They include two crazy friends from Bristol, (Suzy and Katy - the former of whom is renowned for asking for my socks after the show!), two very drunk lads who seem intend on stealing any or all of our possessions and a hobo-esque Santa Claus who dances for money. (Although I don’t think Santa was actually in line for the show).

We chat for a while. It is unbelievably gratifying (not to mention humbling) to have the support of people this passionate. It helps you know - it really does.

Being in this band can be painfully frustrating sometimes. We, like all UK bands, face a continuous fight to hold people’s attention while ubiquitous American newcomers are rammed down everyone’s throat. Maybe we should call our next album - Marketing is not truth and music is not geographic.

Anyway, it is a packed house for the show. The nutty audience demonstrate their appreciation by attempting to kill each other. All the bands get a warm reception and the show is truly fun.

We have an extra special gig because Ish and Twink from Liberty 37 have come down, and Ish is intimidated into singing Yellow Fever with us. He is such an amazing bloke and it is an honour to perform with him. We all grin.

After show entertainment consists of watching the history of Candid Camera in the dressing room and downing as much red wine as we can manage.

 

Day 4 – Bradford, Rio’s

Ah, Bradford. A gleaming example, if ever one were needed, of the folly of environmental irresponsibility. Under a prophetically grey, fog dampened sky we arrive at Rio’s.

Happily we are plied with hot drinks and sandwiches on entry and all seems well with the world. Sound-checking takes an eternity today, not least because Guano Apes have had a vehicular breakdown. Dufus takes charge (like the pitbull he is) and keeps us on schedule.

Lost Prophets make the most of their set, with frontman Ian confronting the audience on the dance floor. He indulges in what is essentially a stand-up comedy routine between tunes and has the crowd (and us) in stitches. They are, as always, awesome.

Miocene unleash an emotionally charged set and clearly win the hordes over. Their Tool-esque take on nu-metal is immensely powerful and it is easy to see why they are rapidly establishing themselves as rank contenders in the UK.

Today I miss Guano Apes as I am busy being cerebrally challenged by Trotters Rock and Lost Marbles fanzines but rumour has it that our Teutonic chums are on fire. Of course, being stranded in Bradford will do that to you.

We do our thing and bask in the glow of proffered friendship. It helps that familiar faces are in the crowd (Boulty, Flathead, One Root, Cowpuncher etc). One of the positive side effects of endless gigging is the relationships you can forge on the road.

It is possibly the best sounding gig we have done in years and we all kneel and give praise at the temple of the Dufus.

Afterwards we head home to Nottingham with Lost Prophets in tow. Somehow we squeeze them into our house. It wouldn’t do to lose them to hypothermia.

 

Day 5 – Brighton, Concorde II

Due to the genius routing of the tour (cheers Jose) we have to make a monumental drive to sunny Brighton. But make it we do.

On arrival we discover that the fabled German efficiency has deserted Guano Apes.

They are still stranded in Bradford. Oh, and indeed, arse. No Germanic contributions tonight.

We plough on regardless and load-in, soundcheck, watch Karl sleep in the dressing room etc etc. None of us have played the Concorde II before, but it is a nice venue with a great PA, so we are excited.

Lost Prophets play a blinder. They even find time to blast through the intro to a piss take Grind and Click. Thanks for that. It is heart-warming to hear the audience babble about how good the Prophets are. As I wandered back to the merch stall it was the topic on everyone’s lips.

Miocene do a similar job. They throw themselves about with a serious lack of concern for personal safety. Ben imparticular should consider getting some hefty insurance. They pull no punches and quickly win over the crowd.

With bands like these how can anyone fail to be impressed by the depth of talent on offer in the UK?

We walk onstage to discover that Dufus has adorned each of our monitors with pornography. It certainly adds a different feel to the show. We play. We leave.

That was Evolution Phase 2. Thanks to everyone who came, everyone who helped, everyone who played. It was a blast. See you on Phase 3.