
Have you ever pre-booked
a badge for a major race meeting and been sent a preview cassette to "listen
to on your way to the course". I have, and let me tell you, they
Suck.
So to make your journey
to the racecourse more pleasurable, here follows Ivor Donkey's guide to
the top 20 albums of all time. They are in no particular order, apart
from number 1, which is my all time number 1.
(1)
"World Downfall" by Terrorizer.
This is the ultimate
- crushingly heavy guitars, bass that could scramble your internal organs,
incredibly fast drumming and vocals dredged from the very bowels of Satan.
Excellent from start to finish, there is absolutely no excuse for not owning
this.
(2) "Pleasure
To Kill" by Kreator
It's difficult to
believe that there's only three people playing on this, given the amount
of noise they make. Intense, heavy, high speed thrash - what more
could you want?
(3) "Reign In
Blood" by Slayer
Widely regarded as
the best thrash metal album of all time, and it's hard to disagree.
It only lasts 28 minutes, but better 28 minutes of perfection than an hour
and a quarter of crap.
(4) "Imflammable
Material" by Stiff Little Fingers
The fingers at their
rawest, loudest, and angriest. One of the best punk albums ever made.
(5) "Burn My
Eyes" by Machine Head
This album is so heavy
that you'll need to hire a forklift to get it into your car stereo, play
it loud and discover the true meaning of the word pain.
(6) "Fresh Fruit
For Rotting Vegetables" by the Dead Kennedys
The best American
punk band by a country mile, fronted by the best lyric writer of all time.
Avoid this one if you're easily offended or have no sense of humour.
(7) "Darkness
Descends" by Dark Angel
If you like your metal
played as fast and as loudly as possible, this is the one for you, a total
assault on the senses from beginning to end.
(8) "Violent
Demise / Last Days" by Body Count
Excellent mixture
of rap and metal, brutally heavy music and very angry lyrics, play this
and watch the bile seeping out of your stereo.
(9) "Troublegum"
by Therapy
A bit of a rarity
this, a brain-scramblingly heavy album with catchy tunes as well, but can
you tap your feet and head bang at the same time?
(10)
"Kill Em' All" by Metallica
One of the definitive
thrash metal albums, well written, well produced, and well
fast.
(11) "Ooh Crikey
It's Lawnmower Deth" by Lawnmower Deth
Thrash metal can be
fun, as this album proves, you can't really go wrong with song titles like
"Got No Legs, Don't Come Crawling To Me" and "F.A.T (Fascist And Tubby)".
All of Lawnmower Deth's albums are excellent, but especially this one.
(12) "The Fear"
by Acid Reign
Top notch thrash from
Harrogate's finest, unusual in that they don't really sound like anybody
else, great production too from the wonderfully named "Unkle Bastard".
(13) "A Holocaust
In Your Head" by Extreme Noise Terror
Never was an album
more appropriately named, it only lasts about twenty minutes, but that's
probably just as well, because any longer and your head would almost certainly
explode.
(14) "Malleus
Maleficarum" by Pestilence
The title is something
to do with burning witches, but don't worry about that. The music
is skullcrushingly heavy death / thrash metal and is highly recommended.
(15) "Bedtime
For Democracy" by the Dead Kennedys
The DK's final album,
and just as good as their first. High speed punk / hardcore with
the best lyrics you'll find anywhere, crank up the volume and enjoy.
(16) "All The
Stuff And More - Volume 1" by the Ramones
An essential compilation
of the best stuff from their early albums, thirty-three songs which all
sound the same, and vocals that are largely incomprehensible. Absolutely
superb.
(17) "To Mega
Therion" by Celtic Frost
Strange title but
great album, a mixture of slow doom and high speed thrash. Crushingly
heavy, and the slow bits make the fast bits sound even faster.
(18)
"The Ozzy Osbourne Years" by Black Sabbath
The perfect Sabbath
compilation because, as the title suggests, it doesn't contain any of the
crap that they released after Ozzy left. Ideal for long journeys
as it's a 3 CD set. All of the classics are on here, "Paranoid",
"Iron Man", "Snowblind" - the list goes on and on.
(19) "Bonded
By Blood" by Exodus
Their first album
and also their best, as is the case with many bands of this ilk.
Raw production and all out thrash, the title track is a classic.
(20) "Left Hand
Path" by Entombed
Scandinavian death
metal at it's best, loud, fast, heavy, and with a singer who sounds as
if he's been gargling with broken glass and domestos, great stuff.
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