A little old lady called 911. When the operator answered she yelled,
"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn
Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."

"What?" the operator exclaimed.

"I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with
himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send
the police!" the little old lady said.

"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat???"

"Because, you damn fool, if he were a Republican, he'd be screwing
somebody!"