Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around
the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to
maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is a
sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her, and some
actually join in!

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and
a resident stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a
firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around
in her handbag on her lap and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper which she
held up to him. "OK," he said and she went on her way. 
   
After taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man
stepped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got a valid
tax decal for your vehicle,   Madam?" Ethel dug into her handbag
again and pulled out a beer-mat which she held up to him and he
allowed her to carry on.

Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third resident
stepped out in front of her. This one was stark naked and was holding a
sizable erection in his  hand. "Oh no," said Ethel, "not the breathalyzer
again!"