My Local Links

Telford.
A poem about Telford and the way that it's developed since I first arrived in 1989.
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All I’d heard about Telford, was that it was called a ‘new town’
and that, along with Milton Keynes, it had acquired a bad renown.
These names brought much laughter to many a lip-
the unfashionable butt of some unkind comedians quip!
And so it was with a certain trepidation,
that I first walked towards Telford, from the railway station.

I should have worn ‘moon boots’- that was my first impression.
Gazing at that alien, futuristic landscape, I felt a deep depression!
I should have worn ‘moon boots’- and a space jacket!
Lego-land: Huge ‘lego-brick’ blocks, each wrapped in a gaudy packet!
And that was just the outside- it was going inside that was causing me to panic,
thoughts of claustrophobia left me feeling quite manic!
But when I braved my way inside, my hopes began to glimmer-
Why, it was much like shopping anywhere- just a bit dimmer!

They’ve added a Victorian-style glass roof since then,
Although I can’t remember when-
so it looks a whole lot brighter and has far more pleasing lines.
The tubs of artificial shrubs are thriving, as are the plastic vines!
But it’s nice to shop under cover, out of the wind and rain-
Why, in the winter it’s so hot, that sometimes folk complain.
There are lots of familiar faces in the crowd, on that you can depend.
Best of all, being small, there’s every chance you’ll meet a friend!

And now we’ve got our own ‘Frog Clock’,
to which, once an hour, the children flock;
Tiny tots of all different races,
with outstretched hands and upturned faces.
Many a grown-up forgets their troubles,
watching infants catching bubbles!

I once gazed out of my window, in wondrous delight,
at a field of yellow rape-seed, glowing in the sunlight.
And on the distant hills, I used to watch the cattle grazing.
Now I look at roofs and chimney-pots and lots of double-glazing!
Ah well, that’s progress! But isn’t it a pity
that this new country town of ours, will soon become a city!

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They tell him that they've been filled with despair,
Since their husbands or partners were caught having an affair.

He says that it hurts him to see them so sad.
Tells them they’re lovely... and those men must be mad.

With their sleek golden hair, they’re such beautiful girls....
Adores the black Afro frizz, or the smooth ginger curls.

He escorts them home in gentlemanly fashion -
Does well to conceal his fast rising passion.

When he gets to their homes he stays for a drink.
But does it stop there? Well, what do you think?

He could just console them then leave, but instead -
He takes hold of their hands... and leads them to bed!

He may be quite old now... in fact - grey, bald and fat;
But he still pulls the birds, he’s well practised at that.

After all that exercise he should be athletic,
But he shuffles around... looking quite pathetic!

His friends seem to think he’s a really cool guy;
But I don’t think so, and I’ll tell you why....

There's a simple reason why I couldn’t agree... 
You see... that two-faced charmer...

............Is married to me!!!

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