28.07.00 : floating doorway

Friday July 28th

In going through my old notebooks I ran across this writing on the threshold that might find a "place in the page". (also attached) All for now,

All best, Pat

The question of the threshold I am sucked into a space between knowing, where things are uncertain, where all possibilities exist--particles of certainty seep in from time to time like leidenfrost, but are soon swallowed up by the black hole of not-knowing. The edges are smooth and shiny, like polished granite but I can't see them. I can only see my virtual reflection--on the verge. Things that seemed clear are a blur, sounds are muffled whispers, layer upon layer. Nothing emerges. The space is round, open on all sides. If I stay here much longer I will begin to build walls or better yet doorways. Is it possible it build a doorway where there is no wall? Actually not only no walls, but also no ceiling or floor--the space is indefinite. Would the doorway float or would gravity pull it through into other dimensions? From this point of view, if it were pulled through it would partially disappear. Can I peel up the non-surface to reveal a multi-dimensional thresholdƒbeyond possibility? As I peel, I am sucked through and no longer recognize my reflection. It is fragmented and fills the indefinite infiniteness. The skeletal form becomes a multi-dimensional web-- fluid seeps into every creviceƒbreath expands and contracts. There is no outside--only breath. Without sight I can only feel the motion, the (e)motion of the body. Movements are unconscious, caused by subtle transformationsƒbreath becomes fluid, then condenses and solidifies. For a moment there is matter. Then again fluid, returning to breath. It is not my body, but all bodies. There is a sense of peace, but no sound, sight, smell, or taste. I search for the doorway--it could be anywhere. Then I notice that at the moment of each transformation there is an enfolded opening. I recognize it as the same space of unknowing that sucked me through in the first place and think that possibly it is uncertainty and its exploration that is the threshold between dimensions.