25.10.00 : not me writing

Wednesday 25th October

When eye write, I never see me.
When "I" write, I usually hit "U".
When I right, I'm often wrong.
When I rite, I'm sometimes you.

I'm always aware Of the medium, never allowed to forget it - I type soooo soooo sloooooowly that I git ta see de cursor wink wink several times, the hiatus before the other finger takes the plunge - two finger typing, slower than Eric the Eel - fingers arcing, then hovering over letters before changing their mind - waving, not drowning. Where am I when writing? I think of myself in front of an open door, asking some words to come out in an orderly fashion cos they're needed - all the words in my brief existence that I've met before gather together in the one room - speeches are made. When I sleep, they usually have a party and form odd couplets. When I write, I think of you all on the other side of my screen - me in confession, you the priest, with the grille in place, listening, but not showing yourselves. When I write, "here" is always not "there". I exist, for the main part, on your screen - I have a very short life, but sometimes I'm saved ("praised be") on file - I don't change, unless you choose to rearrange me (but then that's not me). What I think of as me is definitely not there when you read "me".

Shane