LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Chop Chop!!!~~~

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!!-- he knocks him off the bar stool and says,

"That was a karate chop from Korea."

The little guy thinks "GEEZ" but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the little guy has had enough of this so he leaves and is gone for an hour or so and when comes back --WHACK!!!"-- He knocks the big dude off his stool and out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says,

"When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.
    -------------------------------

You know your drinking too much coffee when ...

* You answer the door before people knock.
* You ski uphill.
* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
* You speed walk in your sleep.
* You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
* You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
* You sleep with your eyes open.
* You have to watch videos in fast forward.
* The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
* You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
* You lick your coffeepot clean.
* You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
* You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
* You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
* You can jump-start your car without cables.
* You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
* You don't sweat, you percolate.
* You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug.
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
* You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
* People get dizzy just watching you.
* Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
* You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
* People can test their batteries in your ears.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
* You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
* Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
* You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."


Ever wonder why?

How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

You know how most packages say "Open here"... What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why is it that the guy who comes up behind you while you're waiting for an elevator presses the already lit "up" button -- as though he somehow has magical powers that you didn't when you pressed it the first time. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

When you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

What is the speed of dark?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

The views and opinions in this newsletter are not necessarily those of ME Support.
© Copyright ME Support 2000. If any material is reproduced from this newsletter, the
source should be acknowledged.

*********************************************************

Committee:-

Steve Jervis        Chairman/Treasurer         01922 412228
                                me.support@virgin.net

Dave Willmore    Web Manager
                            david.willmore@virgin.net

Rose Jervis,  Dave Tinsley, Gordon Dyke

The views and opinions in this newsletter are not necessarily those of ME Support.
©Copyright ME Support 2000.