THAKEHAM MORRIS are a traditional village Morris side based in Thakeham, West Sussex and have been dancing since 1991 throughout the local area in West Sussex.There has been a brief excursion trying to export local culture to France but like Dunkirk, we came scuttling back to re-group!!!!
Thakeham Morris dance mainly Cotswold morris but we are also establishing our very own Thakeham tradition.Our practice season runs from Sept - April on Wednesday evenings, at 8.00 pm, in Thakeham Village Hall. New dancers and musicians are always welcome.
Our fun filled summer, where we are and when(..ish).
This year we are going to explain some of the more technical aspects of out art.
Some dances use neither sticks nor hankies - we don't do these either - having invested in the equipment we intend making best use of it.
Some sides dance with swords and other weapons - we don't do these on grounds of public safety. There are other novelty dances with all sorts of bizarre accessories - we think these are silly - and we would never do anything silly.
This year's dances
Apres Morris will occasionally happen when members of the team have a "Sing Song"or music session. Try the Kingfisher Ceilidh Band
Formed in 1991 as a cost saving exercise for the Thakeham Village Day, the tight-fisted organising committee who had booked Magog the previous year decided that there was nothing to this Morris Dancing lark and that they could save the cost of the fee by doing it themselves.
The first practice proved a fiasco when an ambulance had to be summoned to render assistance to one of the members who had succumbed to his first ever heart attack. It was a bit problematic dancing round his prone body clutching his stick but he did recover sufficiently to perform on the day. After a week or so of practicing, there was word of having a whip round to buy Magog's services again to save going through the pain of the practising, but loss of face would result, a thing that was unacceptable, so they stuck it out.
The great day dawned, their first public performance in front of all friends, neighbours and acquaintances from whom this had been a closely guarded secret. The weather was perfect and all the local populace were there. A veil should be drawn over the finer merits of their performance that afternoon, suffice it to say that they were received with tumultuous cat calls and good natured barracking from the crowd.
Since that fateful day they have gone from strength to strength, new members have joined and the standard has been raised and they have turned into a presentable side.
He writes verses, he speaks holiday,
He smells April and May!"
This quotation is one of the few references to Morris Dancing in all of English Literature . Interpretation of this quotation has been argued over by scholars down the centuries. Recent research at the University of South Thakeham now shows that it refers directly to Gillian's Morris.
The first line is obviously appropriate - you can tell this just by watching us - particularly our youthful demeanour.
"Writes verses" is a clear reference to the poem we contributed to the pantomime at the Morris Dancing Thanksgiving Festival last yew. The subject matter and content are best not discussed here.
"Speaks Holiday" - it is one of the joys of Morris Dancing that we leave work behind and do not talk "shop" . In the broader sense this alludes to how Gillian's Morris discuss many subjects with authority and passion - fast cars, high finance football, power politics, Morris Dancing, winning the lottery - none of which we know anything about!
"He smells April and May" - this was long thought to refer to anticipation of the start of the Morris Dancing Season. We can now be practically certain that Shakespeare was using some poetic licence here in an effort to be kind, if not politically correct. Morris Dancing is an energetic business and gives rise to an all pervading atmosphere in the Village Hall at the end of practice nights. What Shakespeare really meant was - "He has a bit of a personal problem all year long"
Thakeham Morris has employed the best (and most expensive) external consultants to audit our hardware and software and to review our business procedures. You will be glad to hear that we have been certified as Y2K compliant.
We are so confident of this that we intend actually to be Morris Dancing as 1999 becomes 2000. We can reassure you that you may watch us in absolute safety and are most welcome to do so.
Contrast this, if you will, with the plans of certain airlines we could mention and you will appreciate how Thakeham Morris is setting an example to British industry in this regard.
An early breakthrough was the identification of the Morris dancing chromosome and its connection with 2 left-footedness and lack of rhythmic awareness. More recent work linking the Morris chromosome to the beer drinking gene has never been properly acknowledged by the Scientific Community.
Current research is concentrating on cloning as a method of increasing our membership. We are confident that by next year we will have as many as eight teams of dancers identical in every way to those you are currently watching.
It is hard to imagine a more stark warning of the dangers of Genetic Engineering!
Ladies and Gentlemen - please put your Pounds Sterling into our collecting tin and we will welcome them. We are adamant that the Pound Sterling shall never cease to be the currency of our proud country.
As you can tell we are at one with our Government with regard to EMU.
We believe that our mutual status offers our members and the general public the best possible value Morris Dancing. We will not be distracted by the promise of immediate windfalls because over a longer period these must lead to more expensive sticks, hankies and bells. Carpetbaggers are not welcome at Thakeham Morris.
Although we have now abolished the written entrance exams there is still an exacting programme of DNA profiling and psychometric screening which has to be undertaken before new members are accepted.
Alternatively have a word with any of us when you see us out dancing, or come along around 8.00pm any winter Wednesday to Thakeham Village Hall. Or give Chris West a ring on 01903 -744571 - whichever way we will be most pleased to see you - and we may just be able to relax the entry requirements a little!
"The closest thing the English have to a National Dance, Morris Dancing, is a clumsy pub-sport practiced by men in beards and shiny-bottomed trousers" - Jeremy Paxman - The English
No - it isn't what you think - our programme this year is by the way of being a fly-on-the- wall documentary shedding light on some of the less well known and little suspected aspects of being a Thakeham Morris Man.
In addition to our display programme and a punishing training schedule (like ballet dancers we have to spend hours at the bar) we have our own social events. These are occasions when we can relax, even have a drink or two, and behave in an extrovert way quite at odds with the serious demeanour which the audience sees at our public performances.
These are some of the things we get up to when we are not waving hankies and bashing sticks - not always at the conventional time of year but then who cares.
CHRISTMAS IN MARCH
Without fail we hold our Christmas Dinner on the second Friday in March. Originally this was because it was difficult to find a date when we could all get together in December - now we find that turkey dinners and xmas pud are the more delicious when it isn't for the third time that week
Any restaurant which covets our business for this prestigious event must be prepared to decorate the premises in full Christmas regalia - tree, lights, paper chains - the full works. Of course we sing all of our favourite carols in the tuneful manner to which you will be accustomed from our Morris dancing. And Father Christmas ventures out specially from the North Pole - the only time he is allowed to do so other than you- know-when.
We have occasionally rather spoilt romantic dinners a deux for couples unfortunate enough to be celebrating anniversaries or whatever on the same evening. Father Christmas tries to smooth things out with special presents but even this doesn't really seem to make amends. Likewise invitations to join in the Karaoke Christmas Carols don't seem that welcome either. Strange.
CHRISTMAS IN DECEMBER
One Christmas tradition that we do honour at more or less the conventional time is Pantomime. (Oh yes we do!). If you disapprove of our Morris apparel on the grounds of latent transvestism then you would do well to avoid
our panto - although some of us do look surprisingly alluring in fishnet tights.
We must acknowledge the help we receive from Storrington Oxfam shop - couturiers and suppliers of ladies foundation garments to Thakeham Morris Men.(For the pantomime only we must point out)
The literary genius behind this All-Thakeham production is our squeeze box player, Mike - a man of many parts and most of them his own despite his age. However any resemblance between what Mike writes and what the actors say is purely coincidental as we use the same ad- lib techniques for acting as we do for dancing.
MAY DAY IN MAY
Surprisingly May Day is on May 1' on the Thakeham Morris Calendar. In com,-non with many Morris sides (the correct collective noun for Morris Dancers) we rise to greet the dawn - and dance at Chantry Post above Storrington.
We then have a slap up cooked breakfast in the village hall before sloping off to sleep at our office desks for the rest of the day. This year May 1'.coincides with the public holiday so
fewer days will be lost to British industry due to Morris Dancing lassitude.
What will be happening in 2000 is Thakeham Millennium Day an extravaganza of fun and games - ask any of us for details. Fireworks - Sidney, Paris, London - you ain't seen nothing yet!
SEPTEMBER - AGM TIME
We have a rather unusually structured Annual General Meeting. (last Wednesday in September without fail). We employ a management technique so effective that it deserves to be more widely adopted. We fit the current year's meeting, not to a purpose written agenda, but to the minutes of the previous year's AGM. This saves much, unnecessary administrative work in redrafting minutes and adds stability, continuity and familiarity to the proceedings - a welcome relief from the usual cut and thrust.
The most important item on our agenda is the cake - eaten under Any Other Business. Therefore earlier and lesser items (correspondence, finance) may not receive the close attention they deserve. It is so many moons since we have had to elect any officers that none of us is quite sure of the procedure - jobs therefore tend to be for life.
So that's a few of the things we do throughout the year. As if being a Morris Dancer weren't attraction enough we hope that by opening this window onto our world you might be persuaded to join us.
In any case we hope you enjoy our dancing and even if not we collect in a good cause - The Mary Howe Cancer Relief Charity. So please put an appropriate donation in our tin - although a sizeable contribution is required to make us go away.