Oink’s prerun carpark chat concentrated on how he had been stitched up by Hughie Blaaarrrgh into doing all the run the following weekend. Mr Blaaarrrgh’s excuse seemed to centre on the fact that all the biting insects in Norfolk and Hamilton wanted to eat him for dinner. Nancy the Hairdresser made a welcome appearance and managed to distract Oink from doing most of the run - so much so they were seen later coming down the trail the wrong way. Oxford was looking hot and bothered on this gloriously sunny Thursday afternoon as he announced that it was a clean trail and it had only taken him 70 minutes to set. Many of the pack were wary of this ‘good news’. ‘Wasn’t this the man who had made the pack go around Stirling 3 times?’ After a suitable pause On was called over the railway bridge and past the cash machine I had so recently visited. The first check was a back check which allowed Noddy to do some decent forward checking - he obviously speaks to the Dweebe too much. The trail then afforded us the first view of the canal before heading across a field and under the railway after the second check. Right Hand and Oink had to double back from the towpath which they had seemed so intent on following. The Brewer was spotted doing some front running at this stage! There then followed a series of estates and wooded lanes where Camasutra and myself were deemed to be over amorous. Another one of Oxford’s cunning back checks saw us go down a little alley which Oink and myself walked past a couple of times before noticing. The trail then descended off a bridge. Nancy The Hairdresser and the other Nancys stayed on the Bridge whilst the foolhardy amongst us swung from the branches, descended precipitiously and watered the grass. After ascending through the trees the jungle gave way to a lovely estate and we enjoyed some lovely grassy running with Right Hand demonstrating fine local knowledge as to how to get back onto the trail. CHOGM was flying down hill and I made way for the athlete to go through hoping I wouldn’t need to forward check at the next backcheck. Following more woodland exploration (taking in Right Hand’s rear view) we looked as if we were due to head back. However, the trail continued away along the side of the railway and Rurtees missed out on playing in all the puddles and mud ( too much work makes Paul …) Another back check in the field had The Brewer walking along the wall and we were all forced to follow. We were glad it wasn’t forward as the field apparently came out at Falkirk High! I tried to avoid getting as nettle stung as Noddy and as ripped to shreds as Camasutra - it looked as if she’d been in a cat fight. Fortunately we were nearly there and only had one more mile to run along the canal. Right Hand produced some beer from his car which din’t really count as a beer stop or down downs but was enjoyable none the less. An excellent hash in lovely conditions without a false trail in sight.

On On, Canadian Club