Hercule Bronte was born at Thornton in 1819, the very same year as the first fully automated fish filleter was introduced at Grimsby Docks. A sickly child, Hercule nevertheless had an enquiring mind, and from an early age showed an amazing propensity for solving puzzles and logic problems. Once he had been set a poser, he would worry away at it, in the way that a lobster savages a tarpaulin, until a successful conclusion was reached. One of the first recorded examples of this, later to becom known as "The Case of the Clockwork Clown" (1826) was when one of his brothers mislaid a mechanical toy somewhere in the nursery at the Haworth Parsonage. Hercule gave the problem his best attention, and despite ridicule from his sisters, recovered the missing item some days later from under Emily's bed.
In early November 1830, the Reverend Patrick Bronte, on entering the Parish Church one day, found to his horror that all one hundred and twenty heavy mahogany pews had disappeared overnight. Hercule's brother Chevin was immediately suspected, but repeated beatings were not able to elicit any information from him about the mystery, and in desperation the frantic Cleric turned to Hercule. The juvenile sleuth worked all day on the conundrum, and by tea time his enquiries had led him to a field above Haworth. There, in the shape of an enormous pyramid, were the missing pews. What could be the purpose? In the gathering gloom, Hercule hurried back across the fields to break the news to his father. The good man was overjoyed, and urged his son to lead him to the pile. As the duo approached, however, an orange glow lit up the night sky and a large crowd could be discerned through clouds of smoke. Suspecting arson, Patrick Bronte broke into a furious gallop, but as the bellowing Parson approached, the crowd rapidly dispersed, leaving only trays of toffee as clues to their identity. The Reverend and his son could only watch, helpless, as flames engulfed the massive pile of furniture. The culprit was never found, and "The Affair of the Plot Night Pews" as it became known, remains Hercule's only unsolved case.
During his late teens and early twenfies, Hercule successfully cracked a string of cases, among which were "The Mystery of the Overdue Library Book","The Bowditch Papers","The Corn Doll Stabbings","The Whitewashed Pig Affair","The Quest for the Ladder Rung","The Leap Year Calendar Challenge","The Elslack Enigma" and "The Sealed Cipher Riddle".
In 1845, Hercule Bronte managed to enter full-time employment at last, gaining a position within Haworth Urban District Council as a driver for the night soil cart. This work brought him into contact with an enormous number of people, and his talents were often called upon to solve cases which were considered too delicate to take to the police, such as "The Conundrum of the Cracked Commode" and "The Curious Case of the Itchy Foundation Garment".
By 1862, Hercule Bronte had managed to save quite a considerable fortune, both from his Sanitation Department wage, and from the increasing number of commissions that he was given. He decided to take a holiday, and in June, during the Keighley Feast Weeks, travelled to Switzerland. He stayed at Meiringen in the Bernese Oberland. One day he decided to visit the Reichenbach Falls, a local beauty spot. Unfortunately whilst walking to the brink to look at the view, he slipped on a discarded toffee wrapper and plunged over the edge of the precipice to his death.
He never married.
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Three dirty books of the type popular with academics in the days preceeding books that were not as dirty.
