Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite
successful in their venture, and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back as arranged to
pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot
objected. "The plane can take out only four of your elk; you will have to leave two
behind," he stated.
They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to
put all aboard, and the plane was just the same model and capacity as this.
Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard.
But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley where they were, the little plane
could not make it, and they crashed in the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we
are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is about the same place where the plane crashed last year."
Source: Matt Kelch
"Squawks" are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.
(P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) # 2 propeller seepage normal -- # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal
seepage.
(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm
descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.
(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for.
(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious.
(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.
Source: Gary Dalrymple
Last updated: 24/02/00
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