Editor: Master William Caxton of the Worshipful Company of the Merchant Venturers

Address: Westminster, at the Sign of the Red Lion

Here's what typical spectators thought of it:

"I think this tournament has been the best entertainment in London since we had Bonfire of witches in Smithfield. I say hooray for England, hooray for York, hooray for tourneys."

"I and my husband had a great time at the Tournament. We loved every moment of it and those who say it is against Holy Law must be wrong, as the King and Court were present. I would take my children again."

"Sir Thomas really showed those frenchies a thing or two, eh? That garlic nibbler didn't last long against a real Englishman. Soon we'll be doing it for real?"

So the tournament would appear to be a success with the people despite the ravings if the Bishop of St. Asaphs, but there were critics.

"I am against tournaments on principle." Said Bishop Lowe of Rochester, " I note the injuries again, Sir Lewis Talbot may never recover. It's barbaric and should be banned."

However, proceedings were marred by a diplomatic incident. The earls of March and Nottingham welcomed Count Charles of Charolais and Anthony the Grand Bastard of Burgundy at Dover on the 24^th. They dined lavishly that evening at Archbishop Bourchier's table in Canterbury in company with his brother the Earl of Essex. Bishop Lowe of Rochester entertained the Count and the three earls at Rochester. The party reached London just after noon on the 26^th.

However, by an oversight, no one was available to greet the French when they landed at Southampton. Only prompt action by the Duke of Somerset avoided a serious diplomatic embarrassment. The good Duke met the Bastard of Bourbon at Winchester and escorted him to London in time for the official reception at St. Paul's on the 26^th.

The Earl of Desmond met the sizeable Burgundian party at London Bridge and escorted them to their lodgings at the Priory of the Knights of St. John and then on to St. Paul's. The Earl of Desmond presented the Duke of York's youngest son, Richard, to Count Charles and he made great comment upon the seven-year olds evident martial qualities, the boy wearing full armour.

King Henry himself met both parties at St. Paul's Cathedral with the Duke of York and the earls of Rutland and Warwick in attendance. As per tradition, the King dispensed pennies to the poor and needy from the West Door, looking in the best of health and spiritually at ease after his recent fast.

Later that evening, the King held an official reception with a sumptuous banquet at the Priory of St. John, the Count of Charolais having place of honour. Count Charles was seen to greet the Duke of Somerset as in old friend. The French seemed put out, claiming favouritism.

The following evening, the distinguished visitors enjoyed the hospitality of Bishop Grey of Ely and many said this was the most lavish meal of all. The Bishop went to some pains to honour his French guests, placing the Bastard of Bourbon at the head of the table.

The government has offered a reward of £10 for the capture of Anthony Trollope.

A scuffle broke out in Bristol between members of the Duke of Somerset's retinue three days ago. Eyewitnesses report knights brawling in the street. Four are feared dead.

In conversation with the Count of Charolais, King Henry made an official statement over his intent to rule personally: "I won't abdicate, you know; I'm King!"

Can he do no wrong? The Earl of Warwick has again sweet-talked the merchants of Calais into resuming payments for the Calais garrison at considerable saving for the Crown.

The day release of the Earl of Shrewsbury and Viscount Beaumont for the duration of the London Tournament would seem to indicate that their release might be imminent. A leak from a government clerk suggests that fines may be all that stands in the way of their freedom.

In a demonstration of ruthlessness against the recent acts of piracy, thirteen convicted pirates were executed at Wapping on the September 25^th. However, critics of the government said that the handful of felons executed were miserable nobodies, some caught over a year ago. "The real pirates are still out there," said one London merchant, "as soon as these fogs lift, we'll see ships taken for prizes again and trade will suffer, the Royal coffers along with it."  

Crown officers complain about the planned pay cuts. "It's iniquitous!" said Lord Ferrers of Chartley Steward of the Household, while Lord Chancellor Bishop Neville of Exeter himself revealed the cuts had not been discussed in the Privy Council.

Lord Stanley, Steward of the Duchy of Cornwall, is touring all the Duchy estates, taking into Crown hands manors resumed by the Finance Act. Already he has resumed estates worth £396 in Cheshire, Derbyshire, Kent, Lancashire, Leicestershire, Nottinghamshire and Staffordshire. Today he starts work on Lincolnshire where he faces a hard task with 21 manors already in Duchy hands and the need to resume 15 more, worth £546, probably against determined opposition.

Weather: father Johannus predicts - 67% accuracy!

We suffered the heatwave until September 24^th when a dry south wind brought a mild cooling turning to a chill when the wind swung north on the 26^th. The 28^th brought light showers until the 31^st when fog rolled in from the North Sea. With a single break of heavy rain on October 2^nd, fogs kept all shipping in port until a Southwest wind brought showers on the 12^th, turning to blustery sleet on the 14^th. The 15^th saw a brief return to the summer heat but the fogs rolled in again on the 17^th. The heavy rains of the 19^th to 21^st restricted overland travel but proved a relief to shipowners. However, today's storms are believed to have caught many vessels at sea and several are presumed lost. Accuracy for the month = 58%.

Father Johannus says, "Tomorrow's weather will be just like today's."

Rumours are spreading of imposing nuptials. Lady Elisabeth Beauchamp de St. Amand accompanied Henry Duke of Somerset throughout the festivities. Lady Elisabeth is rather older than Duke Henry but she's a notably rich widow and she may be the next Duchess of Somerset. The Duke's advertisement in this column would seem to have born fruit.

Jasper Earl of Pembroke is also thought to be seeking a wife and Sir Edward Neville escorted Dame Elisabeth Wenlock; an engagement is rumoured to be imminent.

Three notable young ladies have officially entered the marriage market. The Duchess of Buckingham presented her daughter, Joan (17) to the king, the Countess of Shrewsbury her niece, Elisabeth (12) and Lady Rivers her daughter, Margaret (18). All ladies are considering offers for the girls' hands and each may command respectable dowries.

Births:

Born September 30^th to Lady Eleanor, widow of the late Lord Hungerford killed at Melton Mowbray, a son, Leonard.

Born October 7^th to Elisabeth and John, Duke and Duchess of Suffolk, a boy, Edmund de la Pole.

Born October 18^th to Dame Eleanor and Sir Henry Beaumont, a boy, Henry.

The year so far has seen record employment levels for spies. A spokesman for the Espionage Council, a non-profit making organisation dedicated to the commercial promotion of the professional spy, announced earlier this week. "Despite it being a high risk profession and several contracts being terminated, the last month has seen the total monthly cash spent on spies rise to £23 15s 4d. Further contracts are under negotiation. If you're not spending at least £1 per month on espionage, you're losing the intelligence war!"

Shares in the construction industry continued to flourish with the recent refurbishment of many notable castles: Astley, Pevensey, St. Michael's Mount and Trematon. But perhaps the most hopeful sign of resurgence in the national economy is the recent interest in new construction. "We've had several lords enquiring after the cost of castles." said a spokesman for Barrett Castles, "The small castle seems to be popular, so is the imposing castellated House; both relatively inexpensive and cheaper still in the newly fashionable brick. The rebuilding of St. Asaphs is our biggest job right now: a multi-phase project of which phase one alone is worth £700! We're putting the roof on before the winter sets in and I've been drawing up the designs for the stained-glass windows. So, yes, I'd definitely say things are looking up."

One city company that seems to be doing particularly well is the International Trade and Commerce Company. Established just a few months ago, the city is falling over itself to invest, despite the lack of a policy statement by the directors. "We are awaiting the appointment of a Chairman to give us credibility in the Baltic markets." said an ITCC spokesman, "We have ambitious intentions to open up some highly lucrative markets in the face of aggressive competition." City guru's claim the company has attracted interest from several noble investors but this seems unlikely in the face of the typical noble prejudice against mercantile pursuits.

Now the figures for the harvest are in, real estate is looking good. The poor harvest forced higher prices for agricultural produce and wages are down. On the strength of this, the city predicts a 10% increase in landed income for the New Year.

Bishop Bird of St. David's used the opportunity offered by the crowds gathered for the tournament to launch a vitriolic attack on the government. From a soapbox in Smithfields, the Bishop roundly condemned the performance of the Duke of York's governance. "The so-called good governance of the Duke of York is a farce. As well as imposing unnecessary hardship upon the people and officers of the Crown; as well as reducing the efficiency of the Royal administration; as well as denying the King his right to choose his own confessor; he now seeks to squander the meagre funds gathered by his extreme measures on frivolities such as this very tournament." Bishop Bird's impromptu sermon met with a mixed reception: some booing, some cries of 'more, more'; but most of the spectators listened quietly until the meeting was broken up by knights of the King's household wearing the livery of the Duke of York. Attempts were made to arrest the Bishop but he vanished in the crowds and is believed to have returned to his diocese in Wales.

Archdeacon Stillington of Colchester has reported his findings on heresy in the East Midlands to Archbishop Bourchier of Canterbury. The report is yet to be published but confidential sources say he has found evidence of heresy in Bedfordshire and elsewhere in the region. Bishop Chedworth was not available for comment but is believed to be putting in process arrangements for an inquisition in his diocese of Lincoln. "We're scared!" Said a spokeswoman for the little community of Milton Keynes. A representative of the Henry V Society said, "The only good lollard is a burnt one."

A flurry of ecclesiastical building has gripped the country. As well as the rebuilding of St. Asaphs Cathedral, two chantries commenced building in the last week. One is in the village church of Okehampton for the soul of Sir Henry Courtenay killed at Dartford, brother to the Earl of Devon. The other is for those retainers, friends and relatives of the Earl of Westmorland killed during the abortive siege of Barnard's Castle and will be in Durham Cathedral. It is understood that, while the Courtenay chantry is financed entirely by the family, funds for the Neville chantry come largely from a bequest by the Earl of Northumberland.

Dear Editor,

I write to your esteemed journal in the hope that some of your readers are intent on furthering England's cause. In this letter, I report on several matters that have come to my attention that should not be allowed to pass within the noble kingdom of England. I ask your readers to bear these matters in mind until they have an opportunity to influence those concerned in such a way that these matters shall not arise again.

Firstly, I must comment on the Treasurer's apparent recent announcement of cuts within the government. I say 'apparent' because I have received no official confirmation of the cuts. Surely, the Treasurer must be aware that the Offices of the government have important purposes and that these purposes are of greater value to the state than the cost of maintaining them, otherwise there would be no point in funding them. It is therefore inevitable that these cuts will lead to a reduction in efficiency and that this loss of efficiency will cost the nation more than will be saved by the cuts. The only valid justification for reducing an Office is if the nation has a reduced need for that Office. However, it is quite clear that this Treasurer has no idea of the relative worth to the country of the various Offices. The Treasurer has decided to reduce the funding for my Wardenship of the Northern Marches by three hundred pounds. At no time have I been consulted about the possible ramifications to the security and wellbeing of England's northern marches. Indeed, the Treasurer has not even had time, since receiving his post, to make such a study. I can say categorically that there has never been a worse time to reduce the security of England's northern borders. I can also say that the eventual cost to the state of bringing our security back to the necessary level will be higher than the cost of maintaining it at that level. The north of England may seem a long way from the Treasurer in London but if the north cannot be held from the Scots then what part of England can? The Treasurer is making cuts in the Offices of State to hide the fact that he cannot manage the raising of taxes and the negotiation of loan management.

I would also like to point out that it is poor governance to publish cuts in the national paper without informing the post-holders beforehand. Indeed, I met with the Duke of York shortly before the cuts were announced and he chose not to inform me of them though he must have known. I was surprised to find that the Duke had a retinue of 250.

Furthermore, I travelled to London to see the King, to discuss my plans for marriage for the wards in my care, and to discuss the Scottish question. I was however prevented from seeing the King by the guards at the Tower. When asked why they prevented me from seeing the King they wheeled out the Earl of Warwick who looked slightly surprised to see me and said: "Be off with you. We don't want your kind round here." The next thing I knew the door had been slammed shut and the portcullis was lowered. This did not create a favourable impression and I am concerned that diplomacy and etiquette seem to be out of fashion among court circles. This does not bode well for the future of the kingdom, which will inevitably rely on making peace between different interests.

Somewhat startled by this abrupt response I retired to the "Black Bull" to regain my composure where I met a few disgruntled ex-members of the King's staff. They informed me, (though I cannot tell whether they speak the truth), that the King had lost all with his old retainers. The a new staff kept him secluded for all the hours of the day; were deliberately underfeeding the King and keeping him in draughty rooms. Some of the ex-staff claimed to have heard the King cry out: "A steak and kidney pie! My kingdom for a steak and kidney pie!" Fortunately the Duke of York was away at the time or he might have taken advantage of this offer. I suspect that the cries may have come from my ex-jester Ricardo, who can sometimes be mistaken for the King in dim light and is also locked up in the Tower.

Let us hope that the King shows himself in good health to put these vile rumours where they belong. It is a shame that my motion to the House of Lords, that the King should have an independent bodyguard charged with maintaining the King's health, was not agreed by the Lords as if it had been the current rumours would not be circulating. Long live the King!

Henry Percy Earl of Northumberland.

Editor - Evidently the cuts rankle. I suspect much of the Percy's pain is felt only in the wallet but the Hero of Berwick has a point. Despite the recent truce, border war threatens and the government knows this. Perhaps the sum taken from Percy is to pay Montagu as Warden of the Middle March.

To the Westminster Chronicle,

It has become quite apparent that pirates are operating from Calais and are attacking foreign shipping. This I have confirmed from several sources, I now call upon the Captain of Calais to root out and destroy these pirates who damage both commerce and diplomatic arrangements with foreign nations. If he feels unable to carry out this simple task in the name of his country, then he should resign and let a more able-bodied peer take control and bring peace back once more to English waters. I have already called on the Warden of the Cinque Ports to assist in dealing with these common criminals that prowl our waters. Duke of Norfolk. 

Editor - Piracy has been rife in recent months. We've heard of no new incidents since the tourney but this could be down to the recent calms and fogs keeping all shipping in port.

To the Cur,

You think that to make fun of Count Conrad Schwarz of Peterborough makes you feel happy. I have plenty of friends Caxton and you are playing to the devils tune with that printing press of yours. Be careful that the flames of wrath do not torch your jerkin late at night. Count Conrad Schwartz German representative at the Tourney.

Editor - Oh dear! Count Schwartz does seem to be a little steamed over our correspondence, perhaps he put his wager on the wrong contestant in the tourney. In the meantime, rest assured I shall wear a flameproof doublet and ensure my own wealthy and influential patrons know of his threats.

To the Westminster Chronicle,

John Talbot, 2^nd Earl of Shrewsbury, has agreed to pay to the Duke of York the sum of £15.00 for Talbot's upkeep during his stay in the Tower of London. This sum will also cover the cost of an armed guard for the Earl as he attends the upcoming Royal Tournament.

Editor - A remarkable gesture of leniency by the Duke of York. Perhaps he's decided Talbot's learned his lesson, (whatever that might be), or that he'd rather have the cash. Looks like he'll be let off with a fine, anyway.

The evening of September 28^th saw the pre-tournament ball. Many peers of the realm were present: King Henry. Archbishop of Canterbury. Duke & Duchess of York. Dowager Duchess of Exeter & Lord Egremont. Duke of Somerset & Lady Beauchamp St. Amand. Duke & Duchess of Buckingham. Dowager Countess of Richmond with her husband Sir Henry Stafford & the Earl of Pembroke. Earl of Warwick; Earl & Countess of Oxford; Earl & Countess of Arundel; Earl & Countess of Northumberland; Earl & Countess of Shrewsbury; Earl & Countess of Essex. Viscount Beaumont; Viscount & Viscountess Grey de Ruthyn; Viscount & Viscountess Dacre; the bishops of Rochester, Salisbury, London, St. David's, Ely, Exeter & Chichester. Lord Greystoke; Lord & Lady Grey of Wilton; Lord & Lady Delaware; Lord & Lady Strange; Lord & Lady Zouche; Lord & Lady Cobham; Lord & Lady Clinton; Lord & Lady Scrope of Masham; Lord & Lady Dudley; Lord & Lady Grey de Powys; Lord Berkeley; Lord & Lady Sudeley; Dowager Duchess of Bedford & Lord Rivers; Lord & Lady Harington; Lord Bergavenny, Sir Edward Neville & Dame Elisabeth Wenlock; Lord & Lady Berners; Lord & Lady Stanley; Lord & Lady Cromwell; Lord Oxenholme; Lord & Lady Herbert; Lord Mountjoy; and Lord Hastings.

Both the Earl of Shrewsbury and Viscount Beaumont were allowed out of the Tower for the duration of the tournament, admittedly guarded by a dozen men-at-arms in York livery. Sir Thomas Malory was similarly allowed out to serve as the tournament's 'creative consultant' on Arthurian themes.

The theme being Arthurian, all guests took the part of characters from the legends of Camelot. The king appeared in good heart and cheer, sharing toasts with both the French and Burgundian parties. Naturally, he took the part of King Arthur though the dukes of York and Somerset seemed to have some difficulty explaining the concept to him.

"Mmm? Oh no, I'm Henry - not Arthur! I am king, though. I am! I won't abdicate! I don't care what they say; I'm Henry...the sixth...of England!"

The Earl of Oxford took the opportunity to make a policy statement on Ireland: "I look forward to a peaceful and successful future for our country (and Ireland) and reaffirm our loyalty to the Crown and hope to be of benefit."

Most of the ladies of the Court had obviously dressed for the occasion. Perhaps the most dazzling was the Dowager Duchess of Bedford Jacquetta Lady Rivers, magnificent in midnight blue heavy with gold trim. Almost as resplendent were Anne Dowager Duchess of Exeter, beautiful in red and blue velvet, and Lady Eleanor Stanley in Royal blue with minute gold deer heads. Other ladies notable for their dress were Eleanor Countess of Northumberland, Elisabeth Countess of Nottingham, Lady Elisabeth Beauchamp and Miss Margaret Wydeville, but perhaps the fashion prize goes to the Talbots and the de Veres, both arriving with their entire families in matching velvet attire reflecting their respective arms. The two countesses drew considerable comment and it looks like this may be the fashion for the coming year.

Among the men making fashion statements, as well as the earls of Oxford and Shrewsbury mentioned above, the Earl of March was resplendent in red, yellow and gold satin while his little brother, Richard, drew much comment in full harness of plate. "My 'parfait littil knight'," as the Duchess of York referred to him. The Duchess herself dressed down for the occasion, as did the Countess of Essex. Viscountess Grey de Ruthyn demonstrated the northern thrift of her birth by wearing the same gown she wore for her daughter's wedding.

The twenty combatants for the Bastards Cup took part in the poetry competition, judged by the ladies of the court. The object of the competition being to qualify for the more physical contest through exhibition of gentler pursuits. Though the continental offerings were superb, some of the home grown were distinctly ropy. Nonetheless, all were judged worthy of competing and the ladies declared Sir Anthony Wydeville the winner.

The Duke of Somerset then asked his consort, Lady Elisabeth Beauchamp to make the draw for the fixtures in the Bastards' Cup. During the ball, the combatants also divided themselves into teams for the Lancelot du Lac cup, led by the bastards of Burgundy and Bourbon.

The Dowager Duchess of Bedford told the throng that her son, Sir Anthony Wydeville, would take the favours of Queen Margaret into the lists with him and gave a scarf as her token.

Sport - The Smithfield Tourney:

The festivities opened on the morning of September 29^th with a magnificent pageant continuing the Arthurian theme from the ball as Queen Guinevere on a white palfrey behind Hercules and Diana, led in the procession of over a hundred knights, each led by a fair damsel in white samite. Many of the damsels were themselves of noble birth; Elisabeth Talbot and Margaret Wydeville leading their brothers and Joan Stafford leading both of hers, a bridle in either hand. Behind the knights came a dozen dancing dwarfs and twice that number of shambling giants. As each combatant passed the Royal box, the Bard of London read out their names aloud to the King who waved amiably. The entire procession took two hours before the contests started.

For the Lancelot du Lac Cup, a wooden tower called by the locals 'Castle Smithfield Dolorous' had been built to one side. To this was led Queen Guinevere by the party of Sir Charles Bastard of Orleans. Guinevere shortly appeared on the battlements and Sir Anthony Bastard of Burgundy led his party onto the field and commenced to besiege the castle with the intent of freeing Guinevere, who smiled and waved from the castle throughout the contest. After a token storming of the castle, the Burgundy force withdrew and instead individual knights challenged each other by striking one of three shields hung on the castle walls, each shield denoting a different challenge. Many individual contests were fought but the height of the contest was the joust between the Bastard of Burgundy and Sir Anthony Wydeville in the afternoon. The Duke of Somerset declared a wager of £100 between the Earl of March on Wydeville and the Count of Charolais on Burgundy; the winner being the first to unhorse his opponent three times. Both men displayed amazing courage and prowess. Burgundy took an early lead, unhorsing Wydeville on their first pass by a narrow margin, more convincingly on their second. However, Wydeville remained fresh and broke back on the next two passes, unhorsing Burgundy to place the two men dead level with a single fall the decider; Burgundy weaving slightly as he rose from his second fall. The crowd held its breath as the two men clashed a fifth time; Burgundy rocked in his saddle but held firm. The sixth pass was also drawn and the crowd remained absolutely hushed as the combatants clashed once more. This time Burgundy's lance sent Wydeville crashing to the ground but the Englishman promptly bounced to his feet to congratulate his opponent. The two men left the field arm-in-arm.

In an exclusive interview, the Bastard of Burgundy commented on his opponent. "I think Sir Anthony Wydeville is even better than he showed. He fought valiantly before his last fall, one of the best I've met and yet he is young. In a few years, I think he will be the man to beat."

The morning of the second day saw a continuous melee in which squires and clowns entertained the crowds during frequent breaks for refreshments. The contest was adjudged over after noon. The judges tallied the scores and found the winner to be the Burgundy team with the Bastard of Burgundy himself just leading the Bastard of Bourbon and Sir William Bastard of Exeter with 22 points to 21. Anthony Grand Bastard of Burgundy therefore carried off the Lancelot du Lac Cup to great applause accompanied by Queen Guinevere as Smithfield Castle burned.

The top placements were...

Anthony Grand Bastard of Burgundy - 22

Charles Bastard of Bourbon - 21

Sir William Bastard of Exeter - 21

Sir Maurice Berkeley - 19

Sir Anthony Wydeville - 17

Sir Robert Bastard of Exeter - 16

Sir Ferdinand Aviz Bastard of Portugal - 15

Sir Lawrence West - 15

The Bastards Cup was a knockout contest in which each contest started with lances until a combatant was unhorsed. Assuming the fallen able to continue, the contest continued on foot with the victor of the joust choosing weapons.

Preliminary round fought on the 30^th:

Sir William Exeter beat Sir John Percy

Sir Robert Exeter beat Sir Lawrence West

Sir Walter Gaspard beat Sir John Sutton

Sir Maurice Berkeley beat Sir Lewis Talbot

An upset was Sir Walter Gaspard's felling of Sir John Sutton with, by his own admission, a lucky stroke. Said Sir John: "I was too complacent." Sir Lewis Talbot suffered a serious injury going down to Sir Maurice Berkeley in an undeniable grudge match, the two families being at loggerheads over a Gloucestershire manor.

First Round:

Sir William Exeter beat Henry Earl of Essex

Sir Charles de Bourbon beat Sir George Stafford

Sir Ferdinand Aviz beat Sir Walter Gaspard

Sir Anthony de Burgundy beat Sir William Stafford

Sir Thomas Fauconberg beat Humphrey Lord Cromwell

Aubrey Lord Bolebec beat Sir Robert Exeter

Sir Anthony Wydeville beat Thomas Lord Maltravers

Sir Maurice Berkeley beat John Earl of Oxford

The first round started at dawn on a very misty morning. Few spectators observed the first bout but most arrived in time to see the drama of the second, Sir George Stafford unhorsing the Bastard of Bourbon before losing on foot. Sir Walter Gaspard broke his wrist in his loss to Sir Ferdinand Aviz, falling from his horse on the first pass. The Bastard of Burgundy and Sir William Stafford entertained the crowds with a marathon bout; both men looking exhausted before Sir William went down. Lord Cromwell fought superbly but Sir Thomas Fauconberg looked the winner from the first. Lord Bolebec provided an upset, unhorsing Sir Robert Exeter and then winning a slogging match on foot. Sir Anthony Wydeville beat Lord Maltravers when the heir of the Earl of Arundel took a cut to his hand. Finally, Sir Maurice Berkeley beat the Earl of Oxford but not before the elderly earl had landed a few good blows with his poll-axe.

Quarterfinals:

Sir Charles de Bourbon beat Sir William Exeter

Sir Ferdinand Aviz beat Sir Anthony de Burgundy

Sir Thomas Fauconberg beat Aubrey Lord Bolebec

Sir Anthony Wydeville beat Sir Maurice Berkeley

After noon, the quarterfinals opened with a shameful foul by Sir William Exeter, striking at the Bastard of Bourbon's leg when his opponent was on one knee. The crowd booed loudly and the Duke of Somerset ordered Sir William's disgrace and disqualification.

Sir Ferdinand Aviz beat the Bastard of Burgundy in a surprise upset despite an early fall. "I was off form," commented Sir Anthony, "and that early fight against Sir William Stafford took too much out of me. In Burgundy, tourneys last much longer and we never fight twice on the same day."

All spectators agreed that Sir Anthony Wydeville's victory over Sir Maurice Berkeley was the most entertaining of the round with Sir Maurice unhorsing Sir Anthony on their third pass and then a battle royal developing on foot, Sir Anthony eventually winning through superior stamina.

Semi-finals:

Sir Charles de Bourbon beat Sir Ferdinand Aviz

Sir Thomas Fauconberg beat Sir Anthony Wydeville

The Bastard of Bourbon's easy win over a tired and sore Sir Ferdinand Aviz opened the semi-finals but the best fight of the day was that between the two English favourites, Anthony Wydeville and Thomas Fauconberg. Sir Anthony unhorsed the Neville bastard on their second pass. The two men then engaged in a furious battle royal with both men falling to their knees on several occasions. Finally, exhausted from his quarterfinal fight, Sir Anthony collapsed and Sir Thomas went through to the final.

Grand Final:

Sir Thomas Fauconberg beat Sir Charles de Bourbon

An hour's break saw both finalists recover their breath but Sir Thomas still moved awkwardly and the betting went against him. But the bookies were discomfited when he unhorsed Bourbon in their first pass. The Frenchman landed badly, twisting his knee and was forced to yield. The Duke of Somerset declared Sir Thomas champion as the crowd roared.

"I fought well," said Sir Thomas when asked to comment on his performance, "and I got lucky with the schedule. Both Bolebec and Wydeville were tired from their previous bouts and I think Bourbon just underestimated me then had a bad fall. I'm glad I beat him but I thought Sir William's foul disgraced all of us. However, Sir Anthony and I agree that Burgundy is right, you really need at least a day to recover between bouts; I'm off to spend the next three days in bed."

As the losing finalist, the Bastard of Bourbon had this to say, "I think the way you English fight is interesting and you fight well but it is unfortunate that I met so few of you. Of my four fights, one was against the Portuguese, the judges stopped another and the last was over too quickly. I would like to come again perhaps next year. I do not mind all the bouts being on one day, I think it tests endurance and that is good."

As guest of honour, the Count of Charolais had this to say. "My congratulations go to Sir Thomas but I count him lucky to win against Bourbon. Nonetheless, an astounding feat of arms, especially viewing his difficult schedule and his very difficult fight against Sir Anthony in the semi-finals. Altogether a magnificent spectacle and great entertainment. I only wish it had lasted longer. A Burgundian tourney would never last less than a week but it was well worth the trip and I shall be definitely be coming again."

In the apres-joust party, the king congratulated Sir Thomas on his fine victory in the Bastards' Cup and granting him one boon. Sir Thomas profusely thanked the king and asked for a Privy Seal writ to bring his claim for damages against the Earl of Devon before the Court of Chancery for Bishop Neville's decision. The king graciously had the writ made out on the spot and given to Sir Thomas with his blessing.

The party was marred only by the collapse of Sir Lewis Talbot at dinner. Sir Lewis took a severe knock to the head from Sir Maurice Berkeley in the preliminary round and was unconscious for over an hour. He appeared to make a full recovery however, and attended the dinner merely complaining of a mild headache. However, his concussion proved worse than the physicians assumed when he suffered a fit shortly after the first dance of the evening. It is understood he has since lapsed into a coma and even daily leeching has failed to do more than rouse him. He has been given the last rites and his family fear the worst.

Truth and no lies: subscribers to a new proposed 'Chronicle' can write to this address. Thomas Malory c/o Newgate Gaol, London. The working title is 'Westminster Warwick News'.

A merger between Gutenberg Printers International and Frames 1460 (for the moveable type business) was announced in Nuremberg this month. "We want a monopoly on information," said spokesknave William the Geek, "we are the future for the next century..."

Leeches: Unwanted birthday gift and ideal for any Doctor of Physik who would like to use them for patients. Come in their own silver box but you must keep them moist to prevent desiccation. Good for all emergencies and minor blood letting. Also ideal for any relatives rotting in gaol.

Crusades: Never too late to come aboard! The Pope Pius II Crusade Foundation welcomes your financial support in return for guaranteed remittance of past sins. You will be surprised at what we can do for you with the right donation. PO Box 735

Fashion: 'Courtly Love" magazine editor Lady Anna De Wintour will feature wood cuts on the best ladies fashions at this year's London Tournament.

The Fasting Guide and Saints Calendar Book: Make sure you don't over do it when it comes to fasting. Blessed hunger is good for spiritual messages but make sure you can come back in time to tell your friends. This book will tell you how far you can go. P.O. Box 230

Felon's Teeth: pulled from the freshly hung, guaranteed to bring you good luck. Take a little bit of evil and do yourself the power of good. Can also cure warts and foul language. P.O. Box 435.

Book of Hours: said to be from the famous Duke of Berri's collection, this Book of Hours comes with a full listing of prayer times and hand drawn illustrations of the seasons of the year. Written in French, this book shows all aspects of human behaviour. Ideal gift this Christmas. P.O. Box 834

Further performances of "The Fugitive Queen" at the Bearpit, Southwark have been delayed following unexpected departure of actor in the role of Queen.

Friends and colleagues of Ricardo the jester, currently residing at Newgate, are to organise a petition. The "Free the Joker" campaign is said to be officially sponsored by the Earl of Northumberland.

For those interested in how I adjudicated the tournament, I'll be publishing the rules on the website.

I guess the shocking news that some of you still won't be aware of is the serious illness of one of our players. Ian Beal suffered a heart attack in January. He says he's not got the full use of his left side yet and needs to sleep a lot but is out of immediate danger; recovering slowly. He is looking forward to people contacting him over Rosewar but please be considerate.

April looks like being a very busy time for Claire and I, with weddings, conferences, etc. I want to get turn 16 out of the way before the end of March and so the deadline for orders is February 29^th 2000. I realise this is quick but it's either that or have a long gap and I'd like to keep the game moving.