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Editor: Master William Caxton of the
Worshipful Company of the Merchant Venturers
Address:
Party
of the Year!
Royal Banquet at
As promised at the
Under normal circumstances, a major
Royal social event would be organised by the Steward and Chamberlain of the
Household but with the current reshuffle still incomplete, the Duke of
Buckingham as President of the Council took the task upon himself and a
splendid job he's made of it, too, with a magnificent spectacle reputedly
costing more than £500!
Standing in the minstrel's gallery, I
note the presence of a huge slice of our nobility; practically everybody who is
anybody, seated strictly according to precedence: the King with the Queen and
Prince of Wales as the guests of honour; the Archbishop of Canterbury; the
dukes of Norfolk (with Duchess) and Buckingham; the earls of Oxford, Pembroke,
Arundel, Rutland, Shrewsbury, Kendal, Wiltshire, Worcester and Essex;
Viscount Beaumont; the bishops of Rochester, London, Winchester, St. David's
and Exeter; lords Bolebec, Grey de Wilton, Lovel, Delaware, Zouche, Bohun,
Sudeley, Stourton, Rivers (with the Dowager Duchess of Bedford) and Egremont;
the abbots of Abingdon, Reading, St. Augustine's of Canterbury, Waltham and
Westminster and the Prior of the Knights of St. John. The 2000 commoners
include the Mayor of
The Earl of Oxford is the Master of Ceremonies, as Great Chamberlain
and Premier Earl, introducing entertainment for the Queen and Prince of Wales,
including morality plays by the London Guilds and the king's minstrels, (newly
reformed after disbanding a year ago). All performances bring rapturous
applause from their Graces on the High Table.
The Queen wears the fine velvet gown made for her actual return a
fortnight ago and the young Prince of Wales is resplendent in his superb
Italianate armour but the most magnificent figure is that of the Duke of
Buckingham in a midnight blue doublet featuring his devices picked out in
minute stitching of silver thread with many pearls and moonstones and an
enormous silver ring set with previous stones. He is highly visible as he goes
about the tables, high and low, and I notice he's paying particular attention
to his fellow members of government: the Duke of Norfolk, Earl of Essex and
Bishop Neville of Exeter and the Mayor of London. Laughing, joking, flattering;
he's the life and soul of the party.
But despite from the spectacle, all reserve the greatest praise for the
food, the menu reading as follows:
First course (boiled meats): frumenty with venison, vyaund cyprys (wine
with sugar and spices, thickened with flour, and ground chicken), boiled capons,
swan, pheasant, peacock, pomys en gele (minced meatballs in jelly), pork
lechemete (sliced pork), tart royal, a subtlety in the shape of a leopard.
Second course (roasted meats): vyaund ryal (sweetened and spiced wine,
thickened with rice flour), blandyssorye (a white soup with almond milk and
ground pullet), piglets, kid, crane, venison, heron, stuffed fish, partridge,
crustade ryal (quiche), a subtlety in the shape of a dolphin.
Third course (fried meats): mammenye ryal (minced chicken in almond
milk and spiced wine), bittern, curlew, pigeon, coney, plovers, quails, larks,
beef lechmete, frytours lumbard (filled pastries), jelly, a subtlety in the
shape of an eagle.
The only low spot amidst all this opulence is the crockery, the banquet
being served mainly on pewter, those few items of plate borrowed for the
purpose from Reading Abbey being for the sole personal use of the Royal family;
the King's own plate still rumoured to be in hock to various Royal creditors.
However, despite the bareness of the cupboard, everyone has had a most
splendid
All news arriving from the north in the last two weeks is bad:
Roxburgh, Norham and Wark have fallen and King James besieges Berwick with
cannon. Meanwhile, the Earl of Northumberland as Warden of the North is
experiencing considerable difficulty in keeping his army from
Stop Press
– unconfirmed reports claim Percy is about to engage the Scots even as we go to
print!
Writs issued today under the Great Seal call for a Parliament at
One question on everyone's lips is the possibility of taxes to pay for
the Scots war. The Duke of Buckingham is known to dislike involving the Commons
in mainstream government so the fact a Parliament has been called, as opposed
to a Great Council, may indicate a fifteenth and tenth will be requested.
Business News
Shares in East Coast shipping rose sharply this week. A spokesman for
shipping interests said, "It's the war. The coastal mercantile fleet is
shipping food and material to Percy, at a cost of over £110 a day. This
is an unexpected fillip. War usually kills trade."
The government is mobilising the
The Privy Council – by Peter Hansard
The Privy Council spent two weeks in continuous session to clear the backlog
of administration as well as deal with the current crises. The Crown officers:
Buckingham (President) and Norfolk (Earl Marshal); Chancellor Neville;
Treasurer Essex; the earls of Oxford (Great Chamberlain), Arundel (Chamberlain
of Chester); lord Bolebec (Keeper of the Tower) and Archdeacon Booth of
Richmond (Privy Seal) were joined by the earls of Shrewsbury and Wiltshire; the
bishops of Winchester and St. David's; lords Grey de Wilton, Lovel, Delaware,
Zouche, Bohun, Sudeley, Stourton, Rivers, Egremont and Sir Christopher
Matters discussed are thought to fall under several headings: the Scots
war (obviously a priority), the navy, the Household and other public offices,
the various commissions of inquiry, public order and judicial matters.
Obviously, the minutes are classified but the Privy Council's public
announcements and published writs are very revealing.
Archdeacon Booth is voluntarily stepping down as Privy Seal. Said
Thomas Bird, Bishop of St. David's, who replaces him, "John has done a
sterling job this last year. I would say he did much to ameliorate the
extremities of the late Duke of
Meanwhile, the lack of pronouncement on the Household and Welsh offices
reveals the intensity of debate on these issues.
Some councillors are concerned over the inactivity of some of the commissions
of inquiry established almost a month ago with only the Beaufort commission
underway.
Warrants against the earls of Devon and Wiltshire, Viscount Beaumont,
lords Roos and Montagu, Sir John Crowmer and Andrew Trollope are rescinded and
prisoners released but the warrants against Lord Grey de Powys and Sir John
Ogle indicate the gaols won't be empty for long.
Finally, the government is committed to supporting Percy, despite grave
concerns both morally and financially.
Other Home News
The Earl of
A warrant has been issued for the arrest of Lord Grey de Powys on
charges of high treason in that he did commit an offence against the succession
in raising arms against the Prince of Wales at Rhuddlan.
The office of the Privy Seal has exonerated Viscount Berners of all
blame for the escape from the Tower of London of the Earl of Shrewsbury and
Viscount Beaumont last Christmas.
The Beaufort inquiry into breaches of law and order in the West Country
swung into action in
Despite stringent enforcement of law and order, bandits are reported in
Essex and Gloucestershire. "It's the Robin Hood syndrome," commented
sheriff Dymoke of Gloucester, "some peasants get it into their heads that
it's noble to thieve for a living. Of course, they steal from the rich and keep
it all themselves but it's a real problem for law enforcement."
A source close to government has revealed that the Duke of Norfolk has
given substantial donations to relieve the suffering of the people of
Leicester.
Church News
With great regret, the Bishop of London earlier this week announced the
death of Zanobius Mullakyn, archdeacon of Essex. Winner of the Archbishop
Aelfric Puttoc annual competition for the Silliest Name in the Church of
England for a record 26 consecutive years, Master Mullakyn will be best
remembered for the spirited defence of his title against the challenge of
Marinus Ursinus, archdeacon of Wiltshire from 1452 until his death in 1457, but
for most of his career Zanobius knew no rivals. “He spread so much happiness
wherever he went,” commented Bishop Kemp of London, wiping away a tear, “I
don’t know where we’ll find anyone to replace him. He will be sorely missed.”
Applications for the post of archdeacon of Essex, along with the other
vacant archdeaconries: Exeter, Gloucester, Huntingdon, Merioneth and Nottingham
should be submitted to the relevant bishops. Entries for this year’s Silliest
Name in the Church of England competition should be submitted to Archbishop
Bourchier of Canterbury before Midsummer.
The Weather: Father Johannus Predicts - 67% Accuracy!
A very changeable fortnight indeed; even when the weather remained
broadly similar from day-to-day, the winds that brought it veered all over the
compass, making sea journeys difficult and unpredictable.
It opened much as expected with blustery showers until the end of April
brought a dry spell that even turned into a minor heat-wave for May 3rd/4th.
However, the last five days have showers, overcast dry skies, sleet and heavy
downpours before today's fine and mild weather, perfect for all outdoors
activities and fireworks.
This
Father Johannus says, “Tomorrow’s weather will be just like today’s.”
Foreign News
Stop Press! – an unconfirmed rumour claims King Charles IV of Navarre
has been poisoned and is liken to die.
Richard Plantagenet, Duke of
In my father,
Providence sent our fair realm a man of uncommon courage, vision and
determination. His loyalty to the Crown was absolute and his devotion to the
public weal constant. He loved the King, his liege and cousin; the commons
loved him.
No blame
for the disasters lately suffered in France rested with my father. It was his
hope to restore the glory of England and so strong was his belief in the
necessity of good governance that he manfully took on the burden of returning
the country to its former prosperity at home and prestige abroad. That burden
was inevitably increased by His Grace the King's lamentable, but thankfully
temporary, periods of incapacity, when thrice my Father dutifully served as
Lord Protector.
If he had
faults, as all mortal men have, these were of the heart rather than the head.
Such was the clarity of his vision of what needed to be done, and his zeal for
action, that he was, perhaps, too impatient with the necessary mechanisms of
the State. Whilst speedy action may often
The manner
of his passing demonstrates the desperate urgency of my father’s cause. An
oath-breaker and law-breaker has taken up arms within the country and struck
directly at the authority of the Crown. He has abandoned the customs and usages
of war and brought rape and pillage upon his fellow countrymen, whilst inviting
aliens within the Realm. Never has good governance been more in demand and we
call upon the lords, knights and esquires of England to unite and respond to
this vile affront to Royal dignity and the public weal, and upon the prelates
of both provinces to denounce the offence to God and the Church.
The realm
is now beset by the Scots. Our duty is clear and the King's Peace must be
restored so that justice and prosperity might be enjoyed by all. We look to the
Privy Council to give a noble lead and trust in the wisdom of its advice to His
Grace the King.
Providence has seen fit to take my father from amongst us, his beloved
family, and out of the realm that he cherished so dearly, to another Realm, yet
more glorious. He will be buried at Fotheringay, in the College established by
our illustrious forebear Edmund Langley, first Duke of York, where prayers are
said daily for the good estate and for the souls of the King, Queen, Prince of
Wales, the Duke of York, and all the royal family. March
Letters (a much smaller postbag than usual)
Dear Editor, once again I am forced to waste
I assure your readers that I am even now marching northwards to destroy
the evil Scots that infest our northern counties. I will not rest until
Edinburgh itself is ablaze.
Yours Henry Earl of Northumberland, etc, etc…
Editor: Dear me! How could we get so overwrought over one small town?
Incidentally, though the Scots are evil, they are not heathens but beloved by
Christ, unlike those fighting against them; some may think it terrible that our
salvation lies in such hands. I have no doubt Edinburgh may soon resemble
Leicester, God willing.
Master Caxton, now that the realm once again enjoys the favours of True
Governance, I have made great efforts in Wales to collect funds for stage 2 of
the Crusade. I need only the word and I’ll be saddling up and riding out of
Raglan to wars points North, South East and West against the Saracens.
I trust the new Governance punishes those guilty of excesses and
rewards those who showed great prudence in the latest troubles. The Duke of
Buckingham should be encouraged to maintain the new Governance and to reconcile
the Sons of York to the new political dispensation.
God Save King Henry! May God Grant him a long and fruitful reign once
again with his trusted servants by his side. I am ready to sharpen my sword on
Saracen heads if the Lord Northumberland leads us.
Lord Herbert of Raglan.
Editor: Er…stage 2? What happened to stage 1? How many stages are there? It
seems Lord Herbert went to the same school as Percy; Saracens are not found in
the north, they're almost entirely confined to the Holy Land, in fact – which
is at the far end of the Mediterranean, by the way. However, I too can only
hope those guilty of excesses are punished.
Forms of Address
In our modern, status-conscious society, it is vital to address
everyone in a manner suiting their station. Yeomen and serfs are merely
required to touch forelock politely and say 'sire' liberally when called upon
(speaking only when spoken to) but for those finding themselves in polite
society, correct address will be expected on all formal occasions. Failing to
use correct style will betray you as a social upstart and you will be treated
accordingly.
From the top, the Pope is styled 'Holiness', with a Cardinal 'Eminence'
and the Emperor 'Majesty'. Our own King, Queen, Prince of Wales, archbishops
and dukes are all styled 'your Grace' in formal address. Earls, viscounts and
barons are formally styled 'my lord', as is a duke, informally but when
addressing your personal lord, it is best to use the phrase 'my liege',
recognising the feudal bond. Gentry are addressed as 'sir' or 'sire', whether
or not dubbed. Some Crown officers have the style of 'lordship' or 'honour' by
right of office but generally all lower ranks receive the style 'hey you'. Some
townsfolk seem to think they deserve better but remember even the richest
merchant is at heart just a tradesman and should be treated accordingly by a
true gentleman.
Using these simple phrases will enable you to shine in even the most
prestigious society garden party.
The Mechanisms of Government – The Writing Offices
Modern government demands instructions to junior officials, reports to
senior officials and records, all in writing. Until this last century, all
writing was in the hands of the church and therefore the task of writing the
King's letters fell to literate clergy in the Curia Regis from even before the
Conquest. These clergy became the highly organised departments of Chancery and
Exchequer [Treasury], with their own procedures, methods, records and offices
in Westminster.
Chancery was already an organised
institution by 1200, keeping copious records in files of loose documents and
the Charter, Close, Fine, Gascon, Parliament, Patent, Redisseisin, Scotch,
Statute and Treaty rolls.
The Chancellor, the King's foremost official, is usually a bishop with
wide experience in the Royal bureaucracy, heading over a hundred staff. The
Master of the Rolls is his deputy, with a staff of 6 clerks; 11 masters of
Chancery each have a staff of 3, many of whom specialise; for example the
prothonotary is an authority on diplomatic practice; 12 clerks of the second
grade each have one assistant and beneath them there's 24 cursitors, doing the
mundane work of copying and transcribing form letters. Finally there's the
menial staff: the spigurnel (in charge of sealing), the chafewax (who heats the
wax) and the porters (because books are heavy).
The Chancellor holds the Great Seal and uses it to authorise the most
solemn letters: grants of land, title or office (great or small); summons to
Parliament, pardons, and foreign treaties.
But Chancery is not just a secretariat, it is also a court; not of law
but of equity, where decisions are based on the fairness of an individual case
rather than a point of law. It has become the heart of the Royal bureaucracy
and the main instrument of government, enacting the King's will.
Chancery's growing complexity forced it to find permanent premises in
Westminster. However, the King still needed a secretarial staff with his person
and so King John created the office of Privy Seal, intended to serve as his
personal writing office and so functioning for the course of the 13th
Century.
Chancery's formal organisation and established procedure led to
inflexibility and the mounting workload caused by the rising complexity of
administration in the early 14th Century led to the Privy Seal
office taking up the slack. Though overburdened, Chancery fought this
encroachment but the need for flexibility and quickness of response meant the
growth of the Privy Seal's importance was inevitable and today the Keeper of
the Privy Seal is the third great official of the realm behind the Chancellor
and Treasurer.
The Keeper, like the Chancellor, is
invariably a clergyman, usually a bishop or archdeacon (until 1415, he was
always an archdeacon who resigned when made a bishop). His staff is tiny
compared the other great officers; a dozen clerks and perhaps as many again
apprentices and menials. Their task is to serve as a 'clearing house' for the
central administration, a general function, the Privy Seal lending formal
authority to directives from King and Council. Chancery will rarely act without
a writ under Privy Seal and Exchequer never will. The Privy Seal also has
authority under its own right for all but the most formal matters. The Great
Seal may appoint officers but they get their orders under the Privy Seal and it
also authorises their wages.
A senior clerk of the Privy Seal serves as the clerk of the Privy
Council and there are close links between the two. The Keeper (a Privy
Councillor by right) may refer any Royal warrant under the Signet or sign
manual (the Royal signature) to the Privy Council for consideration (the
Council since 1406 has claimed a right to vet all warrants sent to Chancery
before sealing, though strong Kings find this no problem).
The Privy Seal appoints to the Privy Council and summons the Great
Council, though not Parliament. It has important influence in diplomatic
procedures too, particularly when the King sends a personal envoy on discrete
matters, rather than a formal embassy with treaties in mind. It can also halt
judicial proceedings in the Marshal and Constable's Court of Chivalry but
generally the Privy Seal is the communications channel between departments of
government.
The growth of the Privy Seal office took a load off Chancery but in
doing so it also developed procedure and a need for records that tied it to
offices at Westminster. Though never as ponderous as Chancery, it nonetheless
became too slow for the King's needs in
Thus in the last century the Signet office has developed apace. King
Richard II proved the catalyst by using the Signet to create a more personal
style of rule. He built the Signet into a true 'office', with its own clerks
from 1385, but his tendency to use it to interfere in judicial proceedings and
circumvent the established organs of government caused resentment contributing
to his downfall in 1399 and a backlash against the Signet under Henry IV.
But the Signet was too useful to be sidelined for long and Henry V
found its flexibility and adaptability invaluable in organising his French
campaigns. The Signet, alone of the writing offices, remains an adjunct of
Court, moving with the King. When abroad, it is often the only seal available.
Since the Signet is the personal writing office of the King, its
influence depends directly on the explicit authority of the monarch: a weak
king means a weak Signet and the office is nonexistent during a minority.
A staff of 4 clerks and 2 – 4 apprentices is headed by the Secretary,
who carries the Signet. The Secretary is never a bishop but usually a clergyman
of ability and ambition aiming at higher office.
Although not technically a writing office, the Exchequer or Treasury,
like Chancery, also keeps copious written records and resides in offices in
Westminster with a staff of over 100 divided into two departments; the Lower
Exchequer, which receives and issues money, and the Upper Exchequer where
accounts are rendered on a chequered cloth (hence the name).
If Chancery is ponderous, the Treasury is monumental, chasing debts over
generations with the oldest cases going back 200 years (yes, Mrs Wormold, I
assure you the cheque is in the post). But it has other functions: as custodian
of important documents and the King's treasure, acting as a land agent for the
Crown. Very occasionally, it even produces a balance sheet (last
Unlike Chancery, Exchequer and Privy Seal, the Signet clerks receive
cash wages. The staff of the other offices receive annual gifts of clothes and
occasional benefits but must support themselves principally by selling their
services to people who need action in government. Therefore, getting the wheels
of government to work in your favour is a slow and expensive business with payments
to be made at every stage. [Thanks to
Court & Social
The King, Queen and Prince of Wales
spent the last two weeks at Windsor Castle. The King remains in a rude good
health, working with his Privy Council to restore his kingdom to the fair
conciliar rule his subjects have come to expect and the Royal family will be
enjoying a formal banquet to celebrate their reunion after the Queen's return from
pilgrimage to Rome.
The Court is expected to be moving to
Appointments
The Earl of Oxford is granted the precedence of premier earl of the
realm ahead of Warwick, Richmond and Pembroke and behind all dukes.
Bishop Bird of St. David's is appointed Keeper of the Privy Seal,
replacing John Booth, Archdeacon of Richmond.
(The Westminster Chronicle was
hoping to announce the new Household officers of Steward and Lord Chamberlain
but apparently all prospective candidates failed at interview and the posts are
re-advertised; only peers need apply.)
Births, marriages & deaths
The social event of the year, the wedding of Henry Beaufort Duke of
Somerset and Lady Elizabeth Beauchamp de St. Amand is only fifteen days away,
scheduled for Pentecost, which this year falls on May 24th. The
venue is to be the beautiful cathedral of Salisbury.
Died April 29th, Zanobius Mullakyn, archdeacon of Essex,
peacefully in his sleep.
The Muckraker
Extracts from a diary found on a midden near Windsor by the Westminster Chronicle's fearless
investigative reporters…
Dear Diary
Spent the day trying to learn about Scotland. Apparently we are at war
again. Humpy says not to worry as everything is under control and the Earl of
Northumberland and all his retainers are going north to sort them out. I looked
at the map I got from that Italian fellow who wanted me to buy that “
…Master Johnson tells me that the Scots are a savage lot who do not
wear hose, eat fodder rather than bread and drink until they fall over – which
doesn’t sound very nice. However, they can’t be all bad because it turns out
the Scots don’t like that horrid game 'football' either! Humpy says it's
because they don’t have enough swedes…
Dear Diary
These doctors of physick are definitely a strange bunch of fellows! One
has written to me about my little problem and suggested I try something called
“alternative medicine”. Apparently it involves drilling holes into one’s head
and doing things to one’s lobes, though what the ears have to do with anything
I really don’t know. Frankly, it all sounded a little strange and I will stick
to the leeches…
…Oh dear! Now Humpy tells me that his physician says there should be a
“recommended daily intake” of leeches and that the government should stop
people having too many. Dear Johnnie Norfolk muttered something about his nanny
which I didn’t catch…
Dear Diary
Saw cousin Cecily and her daughter Margaret today. Said I was sorry
about Dickie (didn’t really mean it – had my fingers crossed!) but young
Margaret looked very pretty and rather sad so perhaps I shall be nice to her
and her mother. That fellow Egremont (don’t like him – eyes set too close
together) made some comment about “plucking York’s roses” which I didn’t
understand but Humpy looked cross with him…
Dear Diary
Margaret tells me there may be war between France and Burgundy and if
there is we should do whatever cousin Charles tells us; she calls it “standing
shoulder to shoulder”. I asked if the French might help us with the Scots but
she just stared and said I did not understand how things worked…
…When I told Johnnie that Margaret wanted us to help France like some
sort of fierce war or hunting dog he just groaned and said it would lose
something in the translation…
[The Westminster Chronicle wishes
to make it clear that we have absolutely no idea who wrote this 'diary' and it
was only put on the Court and Social page for reasons of space.]
Court Gossip
"I for one will not bow to the demands of a peer whose hands are
tarnished with the blood of English commoners and who travels without the Grace
of God…" An unidentified angry voice heard through the doors of the Privy
Council chamber at Windsor.
Essex to Warwick before he fled
Gloucester: "I am a sheep in sheep's clothing, forgive me”
Mayor of London about Essex: "A Lord Treasurer that robs Peter to
pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
[Ed: doesn't sound like the Mayor
to me.]
"Democracy is too good to share with just anybody."
Supposedly the Duke of Norfolk
"In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even
Warwick." Earl of
When his army was scattered, the fleet rebelling and his friend Essex
deserted him, Warwick knelt down on the ground of the castle at Gloucester and
yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice
of God answered, "There's just something about you that annoys the hell
out of me."
What the Other Papers Say
The Edinburgh based “Sassanach Booty” magazine has printed a special
‘Borders’ edition listing the goods and chattels seized at Roxburgh. The
magazine’s editor Hamish McHaul predicts there will be a right royal
celebration. “Meg Mon will be there – mark my words…”
The new ‘Margaret’ magazine has encountered distribution problems south
of the Trent. One seller and his magazine stock were burnt together when he
tried to sell them in Warwick. Some blame the cover showing Queen Margaret with
her foot planted on Warwick and Essex’s neck and the shadow of a man holding a
larger chopper. Others allege that the magazine in question was actually the
extremely lewd ‘Varlet” publication that has since ceased operation due to most
of its editorial staff being hung at Stratford.
‘My Liege’ is boasting that it
has secured exclusive rights to the marriage of Prince Edward of Wales and ‘a
very rich young lady from an ancient and noble family.” This has lead to
speculation that Prince Edward will marry a Valois princess in exchange for
French support in the recent return of the queen. The magazine’s new editor -
LeMotte de Cambronne denies the magazine will maintain its fabled independence.
However those not hung for working on a secret ‘Royal Richard III’ edition are
expected to be executed for treason as a warning about against ‘blaspheming
hacks’.
Rival ‘Courtly Love’ magazine insists there has been no decision about the
proposed nuptials for the Prince of Wales. They have instead illustrated the
latest issue with two pages of the eligible princesses and their dowries.
“Prince Edward of Wales is Christendom’s most eligible – if young
bachelor," says the magazine's editor Lady Anna de Wintour. "I am
sure there will be many embassies coming to London to seek an important marital
alliance. It will be a
Regarded as ‘the bible of tiltyard’ – the immoral ‘International
Tourney Magazine' has denied rumours that it is to merge with 'One Man and His
Lance' after the current issue. It is reported the magazine financially
overstretched itself when it bought the rights to ‘The International Bastard’s
Cup’ for the next five years. “They overes
After a fall in advertising following the outbreak of war,
'International Tourney' is said to have financially overstretched itself
"like a heretic on the rack" by buying the rights to cover tourneys
in
It seems their previous agreement was with the Duke of
Press Release from York Press!
York Press in association with Percy Publications announces the launch
in May of this year of a new monthly publication entitled ‘Our Friends in the
North’ for the illumination of current affairs in the North for those of our
brethren forced to live outside ‘God’s Own Country’. We hope that the magazine
will also help foster better relations between the South and the North.
Highlights of our first publication include the following articles:
‘The Campaign Trail’ – a personal account of recent events by Walter of
Norham, helmet polisher and boot keeper to the Earl of Northumberland.
‘Northumberland Kitchen’: The Countess of Northumberland takes our
social reporter Mistress Lincoln Green around her splendid kitchen gardens
reputed to have cost more than £15.
‘Our Gracious Queen’ - a portrait of Queen Margaret written specially
for us by the noble Lord Egremont.
‘From Matins to Evensong’ – A Day in the Life of the Bishop of Durham
by our religious affairs correspondent, the Venerable Bede.
We hope that readers of the Westminster Chronicle will enjoy this
alternative and complimentary publication from May of this year.
Announcements
'My Yorkie Lies Over the Ocean,' 'Goodbye to English Roast Beef,’ and
'We Will Return?' are on sale for ‘committed’ Yorkists from the usual back
street sellers. The man found singing 'Harry Be a French Woman’s Cuckold' was
placed in the stocks with his tongue cut off and nailed above his head.
The new play 'I’ll take Northern England Thank You' will now go ahead
as planned at the City of the York. The Lord Percy Players are said to be
looking forward to the show and have already pre-booked all the best seats.
The late Government’s robes of state are to be auctioned at Cheapside
to pay for recent expenses. Highest bids are expected for an ermine robe
embossed with the initials ‘Rex Dickon Plantagenet' are expected to raise the
most money despite some queries regarding the gown’s provenance.
It is claimed that the demon called ‘Dennis’ has been found in Norwich
and placed in a glass bottle pending theological tests. It was previously
associated with Margaret the Fair Maid of Stoke until she was executed in
Leicester by the late Duke of York.
A man claiming to be the late Duke of Norfolk has been detained for
further examination. He was wearing the Mowbray coat of arms and even had the
famous ‘Mowbray’ walk but the authorities at Southampton Prison say a spell on
the rack will soon bring the man to his senses.
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Prefab castle - does just what it says on the tin.
Available in three sizes: siege, standard, and monumental. Apply to Earl of
Essex Business Enterprises. “Perfect for dealing with those rebellious lords” -
MR, Windsor. “My grandfather bought a monumental, and we’re still paying
for it” - RN, Warwick.
Stoke’s latest singing
sensation - troubadour Robyn
Williams. Catch him on his Home Counties Tour as he sings his latest hits,
including 'Plantagenets', 'Millennium and a Half', and 'Ain’t That a Kick in
the Head', with a Richard Plantagenet look-a-like.
New McBiccies' 'Alhambra'
sweetmeats; distinctly Moorish.
'Is it because I ‘as a tail?' - James IV of Scotland on why it is so
hard to gain social acceptance south of the border. Price 1 groat for this fine
leaflet, apply Alnwick castle.
'The Taming of the
'Whither Willoughby? Up above
or down below?' – new tract on the dangers of dying excommunicate. 1 gloat
groat, PO Box 42.
Holiday cottage in Northumberland. Recent Scottish visitors left barely
four walls standing but might interest some hardy soul who likes DIY and straw.
Blood of Christ: a phial of the Saviour’s blood on sale. Provenance and
ownership chart provided. Said to have been collected by Nigel of Antioch on
pilgrimage.
Devil’s prayer cards. Tarot set from Italy. Hand painted by new kid
from Florence called ‘Botticelli’.
Ball and Chain: recently attached to leg of loyal Lancastrian liberated
from Gloucester. Will fit any traitor.
French Fashions. The French import house ‘Alors Mercado’ will be
visiting Norwich, Ely, Peterborough, Lincoln and York. Latest fashions for
English ladies and some novelty gifts for Gentlemen. Listen to Town Cryer for
details on the day. PO box 309.
Unwanted birthday gift: book titled ‘Warwick: Man of England’. Don’t
want to be seen backing the losers so for sale at very reasonable price. PO
box103
Campaign Matters
OK, what can I say but 'sorry for the delay'. Weirdly,
having found Rosewar an excellent vehicle to take my mind off being jobless in
February, by the
Alas, we've had a couple of dropouts. Steve Coltman
found himself redundant about when I did and stress forced him to retire from
the game. I understand he's now got a new job and he and Tanya will be moving
soon. Similarly, Andy Sturman is starting his own company and can no longer
spare the
So we now have
This issue sees the inclusion of a compendious essay
on the writing offices, the crux of central government. This is just one of a
series of articles explaining how government works in Rosewar and eventually
all will be gathered on the website in
their own area, like the European gazetteer. Unlike the gazetteer, they will
not reflect reality that closely as they will explain how Rosewar works, not
real life. I try to make Rosewar as authentic as possible but there have to be
limits.
In reply to survey feedback, I am trying to answer as
many questions as possible. For anyone interested in how I work out the
weather, the weather generator has actually been on the website for quite some
General Chat
I've got a new job, working as an 'Advanced Customer Advisor' for the
Royal Mail. I was hoping I would enjoy it but so far I've been used entirely as
a data entry clerk - quite unbelievably boring. (If any of you wish to complain
about the post, you'd better write than phone as RM Customer Services is in
meltdown.) I am looking for other jobs and had a fruitless interview last
Wednesday - I will keep trying.
More happily,
We took a day trip to Clitheroe castle in
June saw our long planned tour of the West Country. It's been a wet
summer but we did all right, starting with a medieval merchant's house in
Axbridge known, obscurely, as King John's hunting lodge; then a day in Exeter:
castle, cathedral and medieval aquaduct tunnels. A day visiting Totnes, Berry
Pomeroy, Compton and Powderham, then a walk on Dartmoor, followed by Plympton
castle, the Plymouth Gin Distillery and a merchant's house. Eden Project is
beautiful and I recommend it as a full-day visit (I loved the exotic scents of
the Hot Temperate Biome). Then back to castles and houses with Restormel,
Lanhydrock and Tintagel (spectacular). Launceton and Okehampton are fascinating
but alas Tiverton (surprisingly the Courtenay seat) is in private hands and
only open 2 days a week. The last two days saw us drive home via Dunster
(disappointing), Cleeve Abbey (amazingly preserved), a cider farm, the
magnificent Chepstow castle and the bookshops of Hay on Wye.
We recently toured Lincoln castle (huge), Bolingbroke (a lot more
masonry to see than description gives credit), Tattershall (a superb piece of
15th century architecture and Belvoir (little medieval left but not
bad as statelies go). Bye for now, see some of you in London this weekend. J
The deadline for turn 25 orders is October 16th.