a (real) Review of Peter "Pyjama" Jackson's 'Fellowship of the Ring'.
The Best Case Scenario: Triumphant Picture?
Well, that's it. Two years or more of peering at snippets of pictures. Twenty-six months of scouring the net for titbits of information. One 35th of the average human lifespan spent raging against the impurity of plot changes… And now I've seen it. A N Wilson's biography of C S Lewis ends by stating that, when he died, Lewis at last learned the truth about all that he had spent years speculating upon. The Purist has not had to die, but he too has learned the truth…
Review the First: Lost Innocence (1st Viewing, reviewed primarily as a film)
"Grit, grime, dirty fingernails, burns, scrapes, split ends and an almost total lack of moisturising cream - This is hell as imagined by Posh Spice..."
This is a remarkable movie. It has so many plus points in its favour that it would be hard to list them. Perhaps the most important is that it looks real. Not in the sense that the CGI is flawless (though I have no complaints) but in the way the designers and P J 'Pyjama' Jackson himself have pitched the 'look'. Pyjama said a long time ago that he would be aiming for a more "Braveheart" feel than the traditional fantasy glitz, and he has been as good as his word. Grit, grime, dirty fingernails, burns, scrapes, split ends and an almost total lack of moisturising cream - this is hell as imagined by Posh Spice. Even the famous accusation of kitsch against the 'goodies' by the first newsweek review turned out to be deeply unfair. The worrying and risible 'cute Elves skipping through the trees' scene isn’t even in the film. In fact in some senses Pyjama almost goes too far - the beautiful land of the valley of singing gold becomes a forest full of the dwimmercrafty and downright suspicious. Don't use the Phial of Galadriel, Frodo - it might explode! Don't trust the creepy alien bird!
But I digress. I need say nothing about the magnificent landscapes on offer - every other bugger under Anor has already waxed lyrical about how ME was brought to life. I happily concur.
The other chief thing for this Purist, was not the amount Pyjama had changed, but the staggering amount he had managed to leave in. Despite rupturing the pre-Rivendell story like some sort of dimensional collapse in a Terry Pratchett novel, we still see the party, pipeweed, the Proudfoots, Sam eavesdropping, Maggot (well, not see, exactly), the famous hiding from the black rider scene, the Pony, Weathertop (not that they bother calling it anything so accessible - no, they've brazened out the funny names problem 'this was once the watch tower of Amon Sul - we will make our camp there!' Er, any particular reason?), the Trolls (though anyone who hadn't paid attention to Bilbo early on was gonna be mighty confused by Bert and his chums)… well, it was quite breathless, really. And despite sadly losing Butterbur (except in passing), Bill Ferny, Gildor, Midgewater, Radagast the not-a-moth and many, many more (as K-tel would have put it), it is quite remarkable that the adaptation can pack so much in, and yet keep a clear and logical direction. After Rivendell, things settle slightly, as if Pyjama hands over rule to the international peacekeeping force of set-piece action. Unlike Frodo, much of Jackson's most challenging work could be seen as over by Rivendell. Now he can have fun.
And fun he has in Sam's spades. The Cave Troll sequence nicely exposes a certain Mr Potter as a purveyor of lightweight fluff, since you can't help comparing the comedy troll from Hogwarts to this slow but powerful savage (though whether you think it was worth using up valuable story time is another matter). Even Lurtz (unnamed in the film, I am pleased to add) was rather good fun, even if his vampiric roar was a refugee from the Buffy sound department. Though I wonder if the audience cheers when Strider decapitates him was as much to do with wishing good riddance to an unpopular plot change as it was for a marvellous bit of action!
"I thought Sean Astin's Master Samwise to be endearing, especially at the end, where Pyjama does not shy away from unfashionable male on male tactility."
Like native Americans, Pyjama sets up special reserves, in this case where the characters can try a bit of acting. Strangely Rivendell is not used much for this, and so we see dramatic moments on top of mountains, in Moria, on Amon Hen etc where everything stops just long enough for some proper interaction to happen. And once again, it just about works. Certainly there is plenty of identifiable-character type stuff going on, despite the Bradshaw camp of nay-sayers. Despite being ignored by many reviewers, I thought Sean Astin's Master Samwise to be endearing, especially at an end, where Pyjama does not shy away from unfashionable male on male tactility. The ginger Scottish Gimli took some getting used to (and would have worked better without the constant thought of "how did Pippin get a Dwarvish accent??"), but credit to Rhys Davies for not trotting out his usual booming calling card. And I need say no more about McKellan and Mortensen - they have been praised enough already.
There are problems, but they come more from the realm of anally retentive pedantry than any fierce critique of directorial choices. Why do Merry and Pippin continue with Frodo after Bree. In Pyjama land their involvement is accidental. When they bump into Frodo and Sam in The Marish, even their reaction is not that of close friends. "Look, it's Frodo Baggins!" they say. Frodo Baggins? This is your best friend - is the last name really necessary? Odd.
When they decide against the Gap of Rohan, why is it they single out the only tall snow-capped peak to go over? Gandalf turns aside from some fairly hospitable looking hills and says, "we must take the pass of Caradhras", pointing at the most challenging looking peak on offer. Since when has 'pass' described going over the top of a mountain? Was Sir Edmund Hillary seeking a pass over Everest? ("Why did the Kiwi cross the mountain..?")
And Lorien was a sequence of mind-blowing pointlessness. One, it didn't look like a nice place to be. Two, why bother will Celeborn at all. If you cut Glorfindel et al, why leave that ugly bastard in? The Mirror is also a spectacularly missed opportunity. What could have been a kind of 'in house' teaser for the next two films becomes a dull 'what if' moment, hammering home the 'down side' of Sour Ron getting his ring back. What part of 'cover the land in a second darkness' do they think the audience didn’t get?
No. Most of our fears were unjustified. This is adaptation that will help banish the idea that Tolkien fans are all nerds, and which will lead people to see the books in a new light, and certainly without that Bradshawesque sneering about taking itself seriously. FOTR takes itself deathly seriously - and it works…
But not for me. Not yet. I cannot explain why. Despite admiring everything I saw I was curiously detached. The Black Riders did not scare me (though I could see that they were scary, generically). Moria did not awe me (though, once again, I could see that it was awesome). Gandalf's demise did not move me (though I could see the rapt looks on the audiences faces). I felt like Frodo in Mordor: "At least I know that such things happened.. but I cannot see them." I waited to see Middle Earth saved from obscurity - and it has been saved. But not for me. I have spent so long pouring over every detail, that watching this film was like nothing more than watching one [I] really big clip [/I], and I cannot help but think that the film is still waiting for me.
"There is a battle at the start that makes "The Mummy Returns" look like a Kylie video."
But that is my problem. There is very little wrong with the movie. Certainly anyone who thinks it is repetitive was watching a different film. There is a battle at the start - of such amazing magnitude that it makes "The Mummy Returns" look like a Kylie video. There is the black riders' attack, the skirmishes in Moria, and finally the Uruk Hai at Parth Galen. They are all different kinds of fights, they don’t last all that long and they take part in a three hour film. Some people will complain about anything.
And the real reason The Purist isn’t spitting blood? Because this purist knows he couldn’t have done any better. And there comes a time when a critic should recognise that that is all he is, and let talent have its day. Tolks and Pyjama - here's to a fruitful partnership.