Miscellaneous

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003333" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="12ad4c00dduajq.gif"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="95" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 46 WIDTH="91"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="46" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="91" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="stan hedges homepage"><U>Return to Homepage</U></A></div> <div>  <A NAME="top"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> <IMG SRC="141462c0.jpg" border=0 width="70" height="44" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> email:</div> <div>  sonoflawrence@yahoo.co.uk</div> <div> (Not live link. Copy & Paste)</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5_alphabetical_list.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" poetry collection"><U>For complete list of poems</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id5_alphabetical_list.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" poetry collection"><U>CLICK here</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U><B>Miscellaneous</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id125.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U><B> Poems</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U><B>Recent Poems </B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U><B>Poems of Reflection</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id116.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Introspection"><U><B>Poems of Introspection</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U><B>Poems </B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id115.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U><B>in</B></U></A><B> </B><A HREF="id115.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U><B>a </B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id115.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U><B>Dark Time </B></U></A></div> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="alphabetical_list"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id114_a_small_request_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>A small request</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#a_virgin_soldier_at_dawn" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>A Virgin Soldier at Dawn</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_an_old_poet_with_highs_and_lows_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U> An old poet with highs and lows</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#and_he_answered_thus" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>And He answered thus</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#andrew_walker___in_memoriam" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Andrew Walker</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_any__umberellas_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U>Any 'Umberellas'</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#beethoven_s_violin_concerto" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Beethoven Sonnet</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114_blood_letting.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>Blood-letting</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#blues_for_the_muse" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Blues for the muse</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#caravella_tours____portugal_s_best_" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Caravella Tours</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id116_children_in_a_playground_1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Introspection"><U>Children at play </U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#cool_man_cool" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Cool, man, cool</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115_dawn_at_the_disco.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U>Dawn at the disco</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#divine_adultery" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Divine adultery</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#emma_is_leaving" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Emma is leaving</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114_few_things_are_constant.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>Few Things are Constant</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114_freudian_insight.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>Freudian insight</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id116_hope_springs_____1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Introspection"><U>Hope Springs</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#in_defence_of_mediocrity" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>In defence of mediocrity</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114_last_words_of_a_romantic.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>Last Words of a Romantic</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115_lie_fallow.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U>Lie fallow</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_municipal_dwellings.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U>Municipal dwellings</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#my_darling_lucy_lou" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>My darling Lucy-Lou</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id116_ode_of_a_humpty_grumpty__1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Introspection"><U>Ode of a Humpty Grumpty</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#on_glances_from_a_young_girl" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>On glances from a girl</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#on_parting_from_ziggy" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>On parting from Ziggy</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115_on_self_pity_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U>On self-pity</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114_once_upon_a_merry_moon.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>Once upon a merry moon</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_our_wish__for_emma_and_richard.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U>Our Wish for Emma...</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115_so_near_a_saint_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U>So near a saint</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115_thank_you_for_the_note.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U>Thank you for the note</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id116_the_continuum_1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Introspection"><U>The continuum</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_the_first_death_sentence.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U>The first death sentence</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id114_the_pantheist_meets_his_brother.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems of Reflection"><U>The pantheist</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_the_poet_s_new_clothes.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U>The poet's new clothes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id112_the_spoils_of_war_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Recent Poems"><U>The spoils of war</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#this_sleep_of_love_" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>This sleep of love</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#thoughts_in_a_college_garden" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Thoughts in a college garden</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id115_to_a_wife_unknown.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Poems in a Dark Time "><U>To a wife unknown</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#valediction_" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Valediction</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#we_had_our_quarrels_you_and_i" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>We had our quarrels...</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#what_is_needless_to_say" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>What is needless to say</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id125_m.htm#wingless_with_the_birds__" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Miscellaneous"><U>Wingless with the birds</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id5_top.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" poetry collection"><U>Return to Top</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="stan hedges homepage"><U>Return to Homepage</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFBF0" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I><B>Miscellaneous Poems</B></I></div> <div> <IMG SRC="19bfa020.gif" border=0 width="250" height="2" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="cool_man_cool"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Cool, Man, Cool</B></div> <bR> <div> Don't you think the spiky hair's real cool </div> <div> man?</div> <div> I dyed and jelled it just today </div> <div> to say</div> <div> I am so very cool.</div> <bR> <div> The fuzzy furry coat's cool too </div> <div> man;</div> <div> I put it on today </div> <div> to say</div> <div> I am just the coolest of the cool.</div> <bR> <div> Gaping worn-out jeans are cool </div> <div> man;</div> <div> I ripped them just today</div> <div> to say</div> <div> my knees are cool too, man. </div> <bR> <div> There's never been a one so oddly cool</div> <div> as me, man.</div> <div> I simply can't imagine what </div> <div> the next poor sap can do </div> <div> to prove that he, </div> <div> too,</div> <div> is so, so cool; </div> <div> so very, very cool.</div> <div>           </div> <div> Not like you, man. </div> <div> How can anyone look real cool</div> <div> who looks so simply real?</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="on_glances_from_a_young_girl"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>On G</B><B>lances from a young girl</B></div> <bR> <div> Now of little praise or stature,</div> <div> being poor of wit and passing grey,</div> <div> how dare she quicken, stab and prod me -</div> <div> and she with snaggle-tooth and all!  </div> <bR> <div> How dare she offer beauty - tooth apart -</div> <div> without regard for my acquaintance </div> <div> with the deadly flavours of despair? </div> <div> Oh girl, those dismal tales. </div> <div> Yet still my heart aches to hear your song.</div> <bR> <div> For though we ask the pumping loins </div> <div> ignore the message in some young girl's coquetry,</div> <div> still they disobey and follow mad lascivious </div> <div> thoughts that can't ignore</div> <div> the ecstasy in that cleansing flame.</div> <div> So damn the self-deceiving eye! </div> <div> It takes no blame in aiding fancy.</div> <bR> <div> If strumpets sound the curdling call,</div> <div> still the remembered tune is heard; </div> <div> still the hapless hormones muster;</div> <div> still they rush in headlong haste</div> <div> into the gaping breach</div> <div> for one last exuberant thrust,</div> <div> though I die beneath a press of men! </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Lunch break, grounds of Guy's Hospital, May, 1971</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B> <A NAME="valediction_"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Valediction </B></I></div> <div> My Eulogy Oration<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" >     </FONT></div> <div> (Mother earned a reputation as a singer of popular songs during WWII)<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" >          </FONT></div> <bR> <div> There was a time when </div> <div> your day could never end </div> <div> without a song. </div> <div> And now you're in the mood - </div> <div> not for songs of love -</div> <div> but for blue moons </div> <div> and your blue heaven.</div> <bR> <div> Tonight, </div> <div> with smoke and stardust in my eyes,</div> <div> all of me is saying, </div> <div> I'll remember you, </div> <div> always. </div> <bR> <div> How you'd put your two knees close up tight,</div> <div> then jiggle to the left, </div> <div> then jiggle to the right;</div> <div> and without a silver dollar </div> <div> sing out your down and out blues, </div> <div> 'Gawd blimey.' </div> <bR> <div> Oh, if you'd known Rosie </div> <div> like I knew Rosie…</div> <div> Oh my goodness, oh what a gal. </div> <div> Without pennies from heaven,</div> <div> there was none so classy</div> <div> above or below, nor</div> <div> underneath those hometown arches, </div> <div> where Aunt Edie was a lady, </div> <div> and every breeze seemed to whisper Louise. </div> <div> Nor down Forget-me-not Lane, </div> <div> sitting in the dark</div> <div> all by herself in the moonlight, </div> <div> giving herself a hug, </div> <div> giving herself a squeeze.</div> <div> She'd only say, </div> <div> 'Just you wait and see'. </div> <bR> <div> Mother, you could make this world seem bright. </div> <bR> <div> Memories, memories. </div> <div> If I had my life to live over again </div> <div> I would still fall in love with you.</div> <div> You made me love you.</div> <bR> <div> And now, after you've gone, </div> <div> though April showers will come my way,</div> <div> there's no denying, </div> <div> I'll be with you, always. </div> <bR> <div> Not just in apple-blossom time, </div> <div> or in September</div> <div> when autumn leaves start to fall,</div> <div> and every little breeze whispers, 'I love you,'</div> <div> but always.</div> <bR> <div> When the lights go on again, </div> <div> yes, there'll be blue birds over</div> <div> the white cliffs of Dover; </div> <div> and I know we'll meet again; </div> <div> tomorrow, just you wait and see.</div> <div> Till then, Blackbird, </div> <div> Bye, bye. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="what_is_needless_to_say"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>What is Needless to Say</B></div> <bR> <div> A strange question </div> <div> after all we've shared </div> <div> being simply alive, batting aside</div> <div> each unrequested moment.   </div> <bR> <div> And so I must tell you that,  </div> <div> when it's a question of fundamentals,</div> <div> preservation of sanity being one,</div> <div> I trust only the oldest of tongues;</div> <div> a look, a glance, </div> <div> some movement of the hand.    </div> <div> It's never lied to me yet.</div> <div>  </div> <div> In fact, I may never say I love you.</div> <div> But I will do it.</div> <div> I will do it for as long as I can.</div> <div> And if the day should come when I do not,</div> <div> Still I will not say.</div> <div> But we both will know, </div> <div> And the world will know.  </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="beethoven_s_violin_concerto"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Beethoven's Violin Concerto</B></div> <bR> <div> Note:   While tutor to the daughters of the Countess </div> <div> von Brunswick, Beethoven discovered that, for company, </div> <div> her gatekeeper kept two blinded larks in his lodge. </div> <div> Horrified, he asked why. The gatekeeper replied, </div> <div> “Unless they were blinded, they'd never sing again.”</div> <bR> <div> Not from joy, nor loving sweethearts' play, </div> <div> two blinded larks sang in fear within their cage. </div> <div> Unkind, you thought. Then came the fateful day</div> <div> when Nature dared to deafen you, and rage </div> <div> almost blinded you to her clemency. </div> <div> Then, born of silence, came this rhapsody:</div> <bR> <div> A lark rises, leaving her nascent feast </div> <div> of unborn songs, to soar above the field. </div> <div> As each cadenza flows, the senses yield </div> <div> to her concerto for spring. Lumb'ring beasts </div> <div> might crush her drowsy children's' fragile lease;</div> <div> but I, aware her flight is just a ruse</div> <div> to lure me from their hide, stand still and muse,</div> <div> silently; and my sad heart fills with peace.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="a_virgin_soldier_at_dawn"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" ><B>A Virgin Soldier at Dawn</B></FONT></div> <div> (Prose poem inspired by Virginia Woolf')</div> <bR> <div> He'd load the rifles himself,</div> <div> thought Lieutenant Dilloway, up before dawn, </div> <div> for the warrant officer had his work cut out </div> <div> tying the man's hands </div> <div> and fixing the blindfold. </div> <bR> <div> Platoon ready - immaculate turn-out -</div> <div> just one with blank up the spout.</div> <div> (Why not two, three, or even four? </div> <div> He'd seen men die from fear alone). </div> <div> Lime pit dug; pine box, </div> <div> white-white as bone-ready; </div> <div> bugler standing by;</div> <div> chaplain ready for action. </div> <bR> <div> But he had to admit it really was </div> <div> a splendid morning for </div> <div> this jolly piece of old bollocks:  </div> <div> the war over, barbwire rusting; </div> <div> farmers ploughing their blood-soaked fields, </div> <div> (more fertile now than before the Flood); </div> <div> cannons' mouths hung with poppies, </div> <div> shell canisters crusting with verdigris, </div> <div> and, no doubt, somewhere in Streatham, </div> <div> or Tottenham, Barking or Stepney,</div> <div> a Mr Smith starting his day,</div> <div> turning bully-beef tins into collection boxes, </div> <div> all ready for a full frontal on the appointed     dawn. </div> <div> And the sun! </div> <div> Shining! </div> <bR> <div> Yes, he thought, everything considered, </div> <div> it wasn't a bad day to die;</div> <div> better here than over there. </div> <div> (None of this hush while the chaplain prays). </div> <div> All so much noisier over there; </div> <div> whiz-bangs howling, shrapnel clunking, </div> <div> machine guns chattering, slicing, spluttering... </div> <div> all that screaming and dying moans. </div> <bR> <div>                *</div> <bR> <div> The smoke laid down, the whistles blew, </div> <div> and with a squeak of fear he could hear even now, </div> <div> they'd scrambled up the cosy wall </div> <div> of earth and stone and rotting bone; </div> <div> khaki worsted against Achilles' </div> <div> god-made shield. </div> <div> His third hubristic assault, </div> <div> pushing his luck, challenging the gods; </div> <div> it must be his last </div> <div> as he floundered up to the wire, </div> <div> waves of nausea griping the guts, </div> <div> warm excrement trickling down, </div> <div> cold and damp in the seat of the pants, </div> <div> lead socking into mud and flesh and bone alike; </div> <div> all alike, earth to earth, mud to mud....  </div> <bR> <div> Three men down;</div> <div> just rags, bundles of rags, </div> <div> belly-down, belly-up; </div> <div> malingerers, taking a breather...</div> <div> mad; we're all mad, he thought; </div> <div> screaming at unknown fathers, uncles, brothers, sons...</div> <div> No-man's land...</div> <div> "Here we are again, happy as can be, </div> <div> all good pals and jolly good company." </div> <div> Slithering like skaters running on ice...</div> <div> No, too dangerous, that,</div> <div> skating with forty pounds of equipment </div> <div> hanging from front, back and sides... </div> <div> God, make mine a head shot;</div> <div> front, back or side will do. </div> <div> How acrid, the cordite; </div> <div> like cabbage stalk on the tip of the tongue; </div> <div> (Whatever happened to that old peashooter)? </div> <div> You need a good curl at the tip of the tongue </div> <div> to spit peas in a withering hail....</div> <bR> <div> And with every stride, </div> <div> his love for Melissa turned to hate and anger</div> <div> as logs blazed behind the coppering glory of auburn hair; </div> <div> eyes downcast, fingers working the beaver rug, </div> <div> twisting, pulling, stroking; unable to answer. </div> <div> He'd said something about dying replete, </div> <div> life consummated, all that rubbish.</div> <div> She'd squirmed and pulled a face.</div> <div> Then, in that inexplicable way of recalcitrant warriors, </div> <div> this man, this Fusilier Higgins-</div> <div> this chap with twin boys-</div> <div> stopped dead to throw off his helmet </div> <div> and sit cross-legged in the mud,</div> <div> rifle phallic,</div> <div> pointing at the ranks of tearless gods </div> <div> who, wondrous still, gazed spellbound </div> <div> upon man's consummate madness, </div> <div> just as they had since Troy. </div> <bR> <div> "That's it, Sir. 'Ad enough! </div> <div> This is 'dic'lous, totally bloody 'dic'lous.  </div> <div> Time someone called feignites, I reckon." </div> <bR> <div> Was that it? </div> <div> Might need it as evidence.</div> <div> No time to write the thing down,</div> <div> not with a puttee coming loose,</div> <div> could trip and fall arse over tip, </div> <div> land smack in the face of a gonner; </div> <div> or worse, a stinking full-blown belly; </div> <div> (God bless pregnant warriors, rotting as to war); </div> <div> I'd look a right chump in front of the men. </div> <div> He's a silly blighter though; </div> <div> sitting down on parade like that. </div> <div> He'll catch it when he gets back; </div> <div> <I>and</I> a fine old chill.</div> <div> (Could easily add double pneumonia </div> <div> to dysentery, scabies and trench foot). </div> <div> And all so unnecessary;</div> <div> so bloody unnecessary ....</div> <bR> <div> He'd slithered on, flecked with blood, </div> <div> eyes blazing with anger as Melissa </div> <div> (like Penelope before her), sat weaving; </div> <div> fingers made for caressing men's flesh </div> <div> fumbling with nothing but fur, </div> <div> mere tufts of fur;</div> <div> nothing of consequence, </div> <div> nothing worthy of their discreet, natural  purpose;</div> <div> saving herself for his beloved ghost.</div> <div> He and Higgins had a good laugh about it </div> <div> back in the cells.</div> <bR> <div> *</div> <bR> <div> It was time. </div> <div> He wanted to say, </div> <div> "You know, old chap, </div> <div> if she was here, </div> <div> and if I thought she cared enough, </div> <div> I'd give Melissa a blank too;</div> <div> give her a taste of how it feels </div> <div> to shoot a comrade in arms."</div> <div> Instead, he advanced </div> <div> and whispered:</div> <div> "Forgive me, old chap.</div> <div> Do please forgive me." </div> <bR> <div> "Yes Sir! And Gawd bless you, Sir."</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="and_he_answered_thus"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>And He Answered Thus</B></div> <bR> <div> As rays of light race into eternity  </div> <div> carrying your every image from birth till now, </div> <div> the thought occurs that these may be</div> <div> your one hope of immortality,</div> <div> and you ask to know the meaning.  </div> <div> And you are not the first.</div> <bR> <div> Yes, all that remains of the life you had </div> <div> will be recorded in those rays of light. </div> <div> And light itself has no meaning. You see, </div> <div> I too wonder what I am. I ask, </div> <div> but nothing answers me, nor makes a sound.</div> <div> See how the riddle comes around?</div> <bR> <div> And unlike you, I've no holy book of revelation,</div> <div> nor any desire to save the dust of man</div> <div> when yet another spawning Sun swallows </div> <div> up just one more sycophantic paltry planet. </div> <div> I've seen so many come and go.</div> <bR> <div> Learn to accept your part while </div> <div> each borrowed atom still participates. </div> <div> Sit back, relax, and enjoy simply being;</div> <div> being part of something wonderful, </div> <div> something special.</div> <bR> <div> Grow old in ignorance; </div> <div> love is all you need to know. </div> <div> Be unstinting with the love you give </div> <div> and thankful for the love you are given, </div> <div> then leave quietly with a grateful smile. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="blues_for_the_muse"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Blues for the Muse</B></div> <bR> <div> Woke up this morning,</div> <div> Muse singing round my bed.</div> <div> I said, `Sock me a poem, lady,</div> <div> put some sonnet in my head.</div> <div> Yes, make me a poem lady,</div> <div> that'll knock that Jenni stone-cold dead.'</div> <bR> <div> Chorus: </div> <div> I'm singing my blues to the Muse.</div> <div> I'm singing, `Whose got a line to the Muse?'</div> <div> Oh, give me a keyword, baby, </div> <div> words to make the Olympic news.</div> <bR> <div> Yes, I woke up this morning,</div> <div> Muse hanging round my bed.</div> <div> Woke up this morning, mind blown, </div> <div> eyes all sunken red.</div> <div> But that old fickle Muse,</div> <div> she ain't heard a word I said.</div> <bR> <div> Woke up this morning,</div> <div> Muse hanging round my bed.</div> <div> I woke up this morning,</div> <div> some fuse blowing in my head.</div> <div> That fickle female sighed. She said,</div> <div> `Man, you just ain't got no cred.'</div> <bR> <div> Yes, I woke up this morning,</div> <div> Muse hanging round my bed.</div> <div> Woke up this morning, no song, </div> <div> and my heart so full of lead.</div> <div> But Erato ain't got no vibrato!</div> <div> No, she ain't heard a word I said.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="caravella_tours____portugal_s_best_"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Caravella Tours - 'Portugal's Best'</B></div> <bR> <div> No, this Hotel Andre is not Ofir.</div> <div> Heated pools there are not apparent here.</div> <div> Offered the choice of Caravella's list,</div> <div> Hotel Ofir was hard to resist.</div> <div> We booked a place readily, brooked no delay,</div> <div> stumped down on the nail, to be dumped at Andre!</div> <div> "It's only for sleeping," the young courier explained.</div> <div> "Use Ofir in the daytime, it's part of the chain."</div> <div> Ofir's  manager laughed, thought this rather funny.</div> <div> "Piss off," says he, "Or pay loads more money." </div> <bR> <div> No, Hotel Andre is not Hotel Ofir;</div> <div> tennis courts there are not apparent here.</div> <div> There, the strand runs fine and rubbish free,</div> <div> and young maids bathe all topless in the summer breeze.</div> <div> Whilst here, the beach is strewn and over laden</div> <div> with stinking seaweed; and never a maiden</div> <div> strips but is over forty with withered chest</div> <div> wrung-out and stringy… oh, I can't tell you the rest.</div> <bR> <div> No, Hotel Andre is not swanky Ofir.</div> <div> Ping Pong tables there are not apparent here.</div> <div> There, pine trees scent the balmy evening air,</div> <div> and shops abound for those with time to spare.</div> <div> Whilst here the stench of rotting seaweed's never distant!</div> <div> And as to shops... well, they're non-existent!</div> <div> Our inn stands sublime amid near desolation.</div> <div> Still, we're off tomorrow, that's some consolation.</div> <bR> <div> Oh no we're not! Caravella, bless 'em, made a mistake.</div> <div> The flight's overbooked, we're left in its wake!</div> <div> Now where's that pretty young girl, that Caravella rep</div> <div> with the low-level English who neglected her prep?</div> <div> She did, she promised to help us whenever we needed.</div> <div> I don't believe it! Now we need it, she's bloody receded!</div> <div> Can't find her anywhere. It all falls on Bet.</div> <div> She'll have to take over, 'cos my tummy's upset.</div> <bR> <div> I've taken it calmly, assured of a rest</div> <div> from Caravella Tours, 'Portugal's Best'.</div> <div> I've had it for days, notwithstanding my famine.</div> <div> (You can see from the bed sheets, I haven't been shamming).</div> <div> Hey! Thank goodness for Betty! She's fixed up a flight!</div> <div> Heathrow begorrah! What? Oh, we stay here tonight?</div> <div> Boy, now I'm worried. That's tied up my muscles.</div> <div> Seems a strange bloody route, to go via Brussels.</div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Oporto, Portugal, 3rd September, 1986</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="in_defence_of_mediocrity"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>In Defence of Mediocrity</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Any fool can rhyme:</div> <div> 'Ne'er cast a clout till May be out,' </div> <div> that's one everybody knows.</div> <div> And without the shadow of a doubt, </div> <div> it's naff; a very mediocre rhyme </div> <div> I reckon.</div> <div> It's like that stitch in time saves nine one. </div> <div> Or was it eight?</div> <div> And when you consider how much of this sort of</div> <div> memorable stuff like this there is about,</div> <div> you'd think a just society of poets, like, </div> <div> would have the courtesy, or sense, like,</div> <div> to call a spade, a sort of… spade, </div> <div> you know?</div> <div> You know, like, stand up and curse Nature's </div> <div> niggardliness, her misdirected largesse, </div> <div> or simple downright carelessness,  </div> <div> in sorting out my genes. </div> <bR> <div> Oh, in some far off longed-for poet's land, </div> <div> a nice kind of … sort of… </div> <div> enlightened mediocre meritocracy, like,</div> <div> lyrics like mine would sort of sing; </div> <div> they'd sing  </div> <div> and ring  </div> <div> and ring.</div> <div> And it'd be nice to be called mediocre; </div> <div> just about the nicest possible thing, really.</div> <div> You know?</div> <div> Well, sort of,</div> <div> like.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="divine_adultery"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>Divine Adultery</B></div> <div> (Inspired by the myth of Aphrodite and Aries as lovers)<FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> No knots, no ties, no seams nor clasps,</div> <div> like a film of breath in January,</div> <div> the crippled cuckold's net flies up</div> <div> and over the marriage bed,</div> <div> to trap the lovers immemorially.</div> <bR> <div> Hephaestus laughs with glee;</div> <div> Aries caught in the act.</div> <div> Apollo sniggers: (now he'll catch it).</div> <bR> <div> The summoned gods stand watching.</div> <div> But Aphrodite is unperturbed;</div> <div> fingers twirling at her lover's nape.</div> <div> Zeus gives a mischievous chuckle</div> <div> and all cover their unseemly smiles.</div> <bR> <div> The cripple, self-cuckolded,</div> <div> slinks away to suck his thumb.</div> <div> His breath so wasted, the net dissolves.</div> <bR> <div> The god of war unimpales himself</div> <div> and quietly leaves the room.</div> <div> The artful woman goes to her stream,</div> <div> renews her virginity, then returns</div> <div> to don her matron's robe,</div> <div> puts Eros to the breast.</div> <div> Now all retire; no more is said.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="my_darling_lucy_lou"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>My Darling Lucy-Lou</B></div> <div>                                                </div> <div> As if I hadn't much to do</div> <div> You write to ask for poems too!</div> <div> As though a poet writes to order!</div> <div> Whatever next, sweet Lucy-Lou?</div> <bR> <div> But then, in caring for you so, </div> <div> It isn't much to ask, you know.</div> <div> And long or short your hair may blow</div> <div> I swear to love you till it grow.</div> <bR> <div> And keep this love, this part of me,</div> <div> For ever safe; but carelessly,</div> <div> For none more proud can ever be</div> <div> Than me, whatever may become of thee.</div> <bR> <div> For ever and ever, </div> <div> Daddy</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="on_parting_from_ziggy"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>On Parting from Ziggy</B></div> <bR> <div> Your cherished mother gave to me </div> <div> her fruit of love, and endless joy to see</div> <div> its beauty ripen, flourish, and grow strong</div> <div> enough to join the world where you belong.</div> <div>  </div> <div> But that taught day of parting found me wanting</div> <div> in ways to express the pride in fathering</div> <div> you, a daughter on whose illumined parchment</div> <div> will be recorded in rich enlargement</div> <bR> <div> glittering words to record and recognise,</div> <div> the compassion that dwells in those laughing eyes,</div> <div> with heart that's open to the leper's bell,</div> <div> beggar's lament, and the poorest minstrel.</div> <bR> <div> For I could have no inkling a time would come </div> <div> when a father's instincts might worry some. </div> <div> And I, still yearning, was a fool to leave you, </div> <div> who now would embrace you, spite of learning.   </div> <bR> <div> For so it was with me that parting day.</div> <div> I felt the need to touch; had nothing else to say.</div> <div> I longed to crush you with the one aim</div> <div> of showing more than vows can claim.</div> <bR> <div> Yet even words, like birdwings in my pounding breast,</div> <div> some faltering words of love, stayed unexpressed.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="we_had_our_quarrels_you_and_i"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> <B>We Had Our Quarrels You and I</B></div> <bR> <div> I with my leaking tub, cracked compass, </div> <div> borrowed charts; </div> <div> you with mutinous pagan god's dead-reckoning; </div> <div> how could we share a berth </div> <div> upon that terrible unknown sea?      </div> <bR> <div> No great swimmer, you hated water.</div> <div> No wonder, when they came, </div> <div> those seas loomed larger still; </div> <div> glowering down, threatening to spill, </div> <div> crumble, and rush to fill the dark chasms</div> <div> where unbelievers hide. </div> <div> You quaked in those mountain seas.</div> <bR> <div> And I would not reef nor bear away,</div> <div> but held the course laid down upon </div> <div> that frayed and bloodstained chart;</div> <div> vellum torn from maverick's backs.</div> <div> It's there, I said, in black and white.</div> <bR> <div> When, towards the end, that chart proved false, </div> <div> and each grew conscious none had rights of passage,</div> <div> that neither voyager was to blame, </div> <div> then by each the other was forgiven.</div> <div> We made a tacit vow,</div> <div> we'd join in holy compact,</div> <div> put all map-makers out of work,</div> <div> root them out and stand them down </div> <div> beneath the Plough on star-spun nights</div> <div> and see just where hopes and dreams stand to.</div> <bR> <div> Then, with sea and sky unclasping, </div> <div> dawn's saffron robes just yellowing,</div> <div> eyelids barely quivering, </div> <div> she lit one corner of that new day's sky</div> <div> and we thought to put on sail.</div> <bR> <div> Safe passage was never guaranteed,</div> <div> but son, why lose your footing then?</div> <div> We had our quarrels, you and I,</div> <div> and often you were led </div> <div> to doubt the worth of my poor heart, </div> <div> but son, I never dreamed you dead. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="emma_is_leaving"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> <B>Emma is Leaving</B></div> <bR> <div> The dogs are sighing; Emma is leaving.</div> <div> My word, they'll miss her.</div> <div> The house too; and we; dreadfully miss her.</div> <div> The old world now gone; you and I alone.</div> <div> Once four, then three, then two, then one;</div> <div> now none to nurse or wait the early hour upon.</div> <div> What will we do, Mother, if they should lose her?</div> <bR> <div> God, the things we'll miss;</div> <div> her gangling frame - our pretty gazelle;</div> <div> that love in her eyes, yet never a kiss...</div> <div> too shy to give in, too shy to tell...</div> <bR> <div> We'll bless those days of selfless nurture; </div> <div> days folded, kissed, put safely away,</div> <div> far from these pilfering minds who somehow think </div> <div> she's suddenly become a woman.</div> <bR> <div> Yes, you who lay in wait, who never knew her,</div> <div> never nursed, nor wished her so to need you,</div> <div> take good care. Those two dead pets; </div> <div> Fred's rabbiting teeth; necks all broken, </div> <div> yet no word of blame. With scarce one tear, </div> <div> and she but seven, she kissed them once, </div> <div> then dug their graves.</div> <div> Her joys and sorrows bound tight beneath the skin:</div> <div> Elton John, Wet, Wet, Wet, and him,</div> <div> her dear, dead brother. Yes, all deep within.</div> <bR> <div> Will we miss those tantrums when she's gone?</div> <div> Will they know she needs a private space?</div> <div> It's all we gave, space enough to bury pain.</div> <bR> <div> Just think, she'll not be here the day she meets her lover;</div> <div> nor, my love, shall we be there to say we love her.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B> <A NAME="andrew_walker___in_memoriam"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" ><B>Andrew Walker - in Memoriam</B></FONT></div> <div> (Poet friend murdered at the age of 26)</div> <bR> <div> His voice was ever soft and quiet,</div> <div> his hat jaunty, almost defiant.</div> <div> And while he walked the well-trodden ways </div> <div> of daredevil, indiscriminate youth,</div> <div> often tussling with his unseen devils, </div> <div> a new song was always upon his lips.</div> <div> Let the world remember Andrew for his song.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="this_sleep_of_love_"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" ><B>This Sleep of Love </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> I've searched a hallowed cloister; </div> <div> plumbed your overflowing cup; </div> <div> and, fire-tipped, my plundering done, </div> <div> I find I'm spent.</div> <div>                                     </div> <div> Touch my brow your drowsy kiss;</div> <div> let numbing joy submit to slumber.</div> <div> Still aglow with dying passion,</div> <div> let's sleep that sleep </div> <div> which only sleeping lovers know; </div> <div> take our harvest and glide </div> <div> in the arms of Morphic dreams</div> <div> where lovers lie undisturbed. </div> <bR> <div> Yes, my Love, the moment ripe,</div> <div> let conscience dim; </div> <div> and dulling, melt away</div> <div> until tomorrow, </div> <div> when your touch upon me </div> <div> fills these willing loins again.</div> <bR> <div> Too slumberous now . . . </div> <div> Goodnight, beloved.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="thoughts_in_a_college_garden"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Times New Roman" ><B>Thoughts in a College Garden</B></FONT></div> <div>           </div> <bR> <div> They rap the bars of my smug complacency,</div> <div> rock the cloisters of my marble hall. </div> <div> And if no longer sung for me, why hear</div> <div> such tormenting siren songs at all?</div> <bR> <div> Why should ephemeral beauty's charm</div> <div> shake my self-wrought iron cage while each </div> <div> remnant fleck rises from the wanton foam,</div> <div> searching out the smallest breach?</div> <div> Is Aphrodite so unkind? </div> <bR> <div> Ah, perhaps immodest dreams of pleasure</div> <div> tease the mind with hope, not censure?</div> <bR> <div> Would cool wisdom leave me now to gaze </div> <div> wantonly, in the common way,</div> <div> at the forbidden fruit of Eve's old pasture?</div> <div> I think not.</div> <bR> <div> For if, like some gnarled old forest tree,</div> <div> leaves dancing to Time's old melody,</div> <div> I could, in some magic, supernatural way, </div> <div> persuade a doe-eyed foolish fawn </div> <div> to rest beneath my shade at dawn, </div> <div> nestling me close, nudging the crusted bark,</div> <div> stirring old rhythms in the dark;</div> <div> and if we should became lovers, she and I, </div> <div> secluded there beneath a moon-filled sky,</div> <div> I might perhaps forget the bad old times</div> <div> when dawn was spent in writing rhymes, </div> <div> heart mangled along with truth...</div> <div> and curse again my blighted youth.</div> <bR> <div> No, wiser now, I'll suck my thumb, </div> <div> salute their charms, but remain resolutely </div> <div> most gratefully dumb. </div> <bR> <div> October, 1997</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="wingless_with_the_birds__"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></div> <div> <B>Wingless with the birds  </B></div> <bR> <div> When Spring abandons unborn fruit</div> <div> to wintry gales and faithless breezes, </div> <div> (for almond sprays fear the frost,</div> <div> while their beauty passes envy),</div> <div> and kisses meant for a lover's smile</div> <div> freeze on lips of stone, yet singe the soul;</div> <div> or when snow and frost send April days</div> <div> to flee a world beyond their knowing...</div> <div> I pray your god will send his kiss </div> <div> to bless and warm your cold, cold lips, </div> <div> and send you soaring in the mind </div> <div> to those sun-splashed meadows full of wonder, </div> <div> that kindergarten school for spring</div> <div> where you, your child's, still lingering,</div> <div> where old trees are yet still young, </div> <div> and where, for just a little while, </div> <div> our favourite gods flew with us two,</div> <div> wingless with the birds.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="some favourite poems"><U>Poems I wish I'd written</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id132.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Autobiography"><U>Memoir of early life</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id61.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" selection of Short Stories"><U>Short stories</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="epitaphs Id die for! "><U>Epitaphs I'd die for</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="miscellany"><U>Miscellany</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="about me"><U>About the author</U></A></div> <div>  </div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="stan hedges homepage"><U><B>Return to Home Page</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Visitors are welcome to use anything on this site for their own personal use. However,  please note that personal copyright is reserved on my own creative material, which may not be copied for redistribution to third parties without prior written consent. </div> <div> © S. T. Hedges <FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#9933CC" FACE="Times New Roman" >2007</FONT></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>