Epitaphs I'd die for!
Do you have a favourite epitaph ?
Here are some I've thought up for myself:
Well I wouldn't say it's a complete waste of time, but you're always hoping for something better, aren't you?
Strange, I really thought I was getting the hang of it.
Don't just stand there, idiot! Go find a spade!
Typical! Never could stand boney women.
Byeeeeeeeee..........!
Another wife would've used the insurance for research into resuscitation. Not mine.
You think life's boring? Try dead!
Why not take a break, take a plot!
Ah, but YOU'RE still fighting off life insurance salesmen...
Sorry, you'll have to knock louder.
On a scale of one to ten? Zilch!
Haven't you got anything better to do? Nor I. Life gets tedious, don't it?
Have to admit - it's different.
All the time, new experiences... new experiences all the time...
Me? I'll never know why He couldn't just leave things alone.
Well, how shall I put it? Let's just say
it's not something you do every day.
Eh? Can you speak up? Oh that. Don't ask!
Shakespeare says it WAS Francis Bacon, all the time!
If you wouldn't mind just getting off my feet; some of us are trying to get some sleep around here!
Please tell Andrew Lloyd Webber that Ludwig says, "hello" but not to bother calling round .
Have a nice day, lucky bugger.
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© S. T. Hedges 2003
