May 3-5: Rowrah
Verdict: Promising.
May 10: Wittering
Verdict: Are you blind?
June 7-8: Llandow
Verdict: Awesome
July 5-6: Whilton Mill
Verdict: Frustrating
Aug 2-3: Wittering
Verdict: Twisted and gone
Sep 20-21: Rowrah
Verdict: Nah. Impossible
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| The one in our team who can ride, Mark Silcox, departed peds in 2007 to race Minitwins with the Bemsee club. Click here for more. |
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| Tony Hoare combines baking Weeble Racing cakes with racing a TZR250. Click here for more info if you must. |
Rucksack tolerates 'Des' ride
Weeble Racing's post-pubescent Rucksack dug deep and showed his professionalism by finding the enthusiasm to ride a £40,000 Ducati Desmosedicii RR up some bloke's drive. The bloke was called Lord March or something and it was some new-fangled event called the Festival of Speed. Or something.
No-one else at weekly news roll NCM, used by Rucksack as a drop-in centre, had heard of this new event, so the nippy lankster shrugged and said 'go on then, might as well' when he was offered a go on the £40,000 machine that's rarer than a gremlin-free Weeble Racing race.
Mumbling by text, he mumbled: "Cool. Done my run, didn't crash, pulled wheelies, made noise. Job done."
Eloquent stuff.
Bumbag: A correction
Weeble Racing HQ today issued a statement clarifying any confusion over the nickname of Carl 'Bumbag' Newbigging, the team's latest recruit from the Mumbling School of Crash-Happy Headcase Racers.
The statement read: "Many varieties of baggage were used as nicknames for Bumbag over the weekend, including knapsack, tankbag and Bumbag. Bumbag's own preference was for tankbag, which clearly precludes this from becoming his nickname on the grounds of it not being close enough to bullying to be acceptable."
The statement continued: "Knapsack was ruled out for sounding too similar to 'Rucksack', the name carried by his brother. But the team were finally inspired by a staggering crash count, which saw him move ahead of Weeble's four-year career crash tally in his debut weekend, and an appetite for food that made Weeble's intake look like Posh Spice's starter. So henceforth Bumbag shall be known as Binbag."
Bumbag's new name will be used with immediate effect. "I'm proud to have earned a nickname so quickly. It's a shame I can't have tankbag as magnets are cool, but the one I have is alright I suppose," said Bumbag.
Trouble at Mill
Ignition breakdowns, crashes galore, carb troubles and a near-war with a rival team. All in the course of a weekend for Weeble Racing.
Rucksack's three-year-old brother Bumbag was the main star of the weekend, taking two fifths and impressing with an all-action style that made mumble-mouthed Rucksack, 7, look like a scalpel-accurate racing line god.
Rucksack impressed until the inevitable bike failures scuppered his efforts and Weeble tried hard enough to fall off without someone else 'encouraging' him to do so.
The team finished the weekend realising how much potential there is in WR406 and knowing that making it reliable can bring good results.
But will they do the work required? Mumbling mechanical maestro Rucksack mumbled: "Might do. What's it to you?"
2008: It's started
Weeble Racing have built a bike that works. Well, it did for a bit. Then it stopped working.
Rucksack's CG125 dirt track creation, which takes the designation WR408 after the crazy amount of other old shonkers built by this shambolic outfit, started out as being quite good. It was pretty fast and even Weeble could ride it without complaining of discomfort (panniers and heated grips are coming soon).
But normal service was soon resumed on its debut at Rowrah in May when the ignition started to crumble on the 25-year-old engine and masses of pit time just about kept the thing going slowly. By the third day of racing, Rucksack had enough and an early departure was followed by a phone call to a man who sells reliable ignitions.
The Weeble boys will be out next at Llandow in Wales on June 7-8. Rucksack described himself on his massively popular Facebook page as "fired up for Llandow. Grr." Weeble (massive and popular himself) read that and took a break from lounging by his private pool in Malta to save '999' into his speed dials.
Ringers upset old hands
TH's last-minute decision to enter a rival team in the Wittering supermotoped event left Weeble perplexed.
"But why have you got all the fast people?" begged the startled snapper. Then the 'fast people' went and got beat by Weeble's team. So nerr!
Spew doku
Professional drinker Rucksack has provided his team-mates with an entertaining new puzzle that allows them to guess when the rapidly maturing speedster will hurl his guts up.
Putting the drinks in the correct order to provide projectile vomiting has proven troublesome so far as the git seems to have worked out how to keep his stomach contents to himself.
"It's quite a boring game actually," said Weeble. "I think Connect 4 would be more fun."
2007: Review
Weeble Racing's various riders have now all finished their seasons.
TRACKSPORT CHALLENGE: The parent arm did a bit crap, with all three of their outings ruined by poor mechanical preparation. Wheel problems blighted May's Rowrah races, the engine blew up at Lydd in June and September's 6-hour endurance at Rowrah ended after three and a bit hours with another blown engine. This time it's terminal as there was no piston left, which leaves an uncertain future for the track racing moped outfit.
New organisers are running the series in 2008 so we're awaiting news of how races will be organised before deciding on the way forward for the team.
WITTERING SUPERMOTOPEDS: A good team performance in June was followed by our best-ever day of racing in the August event. The two bikes finished 3rd and 5th out of the 47 teams as an unusual bout of reliability struck the team.
BEMSEE ROOKIE MINITWIN CHAMPIONSHIP: Billy took a brilliant 4th place in the highly-competitive class on his Suzuki SV650. He was in third until the final race of the season, but couldn't defeat eventual podium man Craig Ashall. Still, fourth at the age of 40 - including four race wins - was a top result. Our Welsh wizard will be racing in either clubman or MRO mintwins next year.
YAMAHA PAST MASTERS: Tony H competed in two rounds of the championship on a borrowed Yamaha TZR250 at Snetterton and Cadwell Park. His best results were an 8th and 10th at Cadwell and he's bought his own TZR250 to compete more frequently in 2008. He's taking the season off mopeds, as is Billy, so Rucksack will appear more if the moped arm requires a team effort. Otherwise, Weeble will be a solo rider in 08.
Stuff you, judges
In a move that will be seen in the industry as a snub to award judges, Weeble Racing have updated their website.They've decided they should tell their loyal following how 2007 went, no matter how boring they may find it. A spokesman for the site told a frustrated Weeble: "Alright, I'm doing it now. It'll be ready soon."
Weeble site wins unique award
Weebleracing.co.uk, the only official site covering East Anglia's most professional crap moped racing team, has won the coveted 'least updated' website in some award ceremony or other.The judges were particularly impressed with the infrequency of updates throughout the 2007 season. One judge said: "The team at weebleracing.co.uk deserve particular credit for not boring anyone with the tales of a season that could, at best, be described as 'indifferent'.
Webslacker Tony H told weebleracing.co.uk: "Great. A bloody award. Just what I needed. Now I suppose I'll have to do an update on the site about it. Do we have to accept it?"
Blundersprint
Weeble Racing wunderkid Rucksack was controversially robbed of second place in the 'personality' class of Thundersprint at the weekend. His time, recorded on a Triumph Speed Four, was good enough to be runner-up in the well-supported event in Cheshire. But the speedy toddler subsequently tested negative in a personality test and was thrown out of the class. His mum told weebleracing.co.uk: "Ah, never mind. We think he's got lots of personality and he'll always be our little treasure.Wheels fall off the bus
Weebles literally rode the wheels off their TZR-based lash-up in Rowrah at the weekend. The sprocket fell off after an hour of Sunday's three-hour endurance race (Phill blamed the chocolate spanner, saying it would have snapped if he'd done the bolts up any harder) and the bearing collapsed on the spare. Thanks to Don't Do Donkeys they returned to the fray with a third rear wheel and this time everything stayed in place, but too late to have any say in the scoring. Saturday's scratch races were a mix of wet and dry and the results ranged from woeful to not bad.If anyone has an Aprilia RS50 wheel (double-sided swingarm) they'll sell cheap, please mail cheapskatebugger@weebleracing.co.uk.Full report and pictures will follow when Tony gets his backside in gear (which, judging by his ability to get the bike in gear, may take some time).
Billy whizz
Three rounds into the Bemsee Minitwins championship and Billy is lying second in the rookie championship. He followed up three rookie class wins at the Lydden Hill season opener with a rookie win at Snetterton in April, to maintain a championship lead, but slipped behind Daniel Gray after a weekend of turmoil at Cadwell Park.Billy was struggling to get to grips with the circuit and crashed out at the Gooseneck. He came back to claim a rookie rostrum place on Saturday afternoon, but had no answer to Gray, who was in superb form. Next race is at Brands on May 12.Secrets of Phill's success
REGULAR spannerman and Wittering rider Phill is working on a book called 'How to Crash And Get Away With It'. It will focus on the secrets of his astonishing record, which saw him crash twice in the 2006 season and miraculously escape with merely a broken arm, rib, finger and concussion. It will be nowhere near any bookshops, of any description. Ever.Billy whizz
Billy kicked off his first-ever season of club racing by winning the first race of Bemsee's Clubman Minitwins championship at Lydden Hill in Kent.He followed his win in race one with two second places and a fifth and now leads the rookie championship.In a rare display of competence among the Weeble outfit (we knew he was too good for us), he went from 14th on the grid to 3rd on the first lap, then moved into an early lead. He was overtaken, but bit back on the last lap and held on to win by 0.089 of a second.Follow the link to Billy's minisite for more details on his minitwins effort. Or follow this link for proof of his performance. His real name is Mark Silcox. http://www.mylaps.com/results/showevent.jsp?id=193306Shredded Weeb
WEEBLE finished 23rd in the Sydney Harbour Ironman competition on October 7th, 2007. He would have finished higher, but he was suffering from malnutrition in the run-up to the event. A peeved Weebs puffed: “I’d have been in the top three if my strict vegetarian diet hadn’t prevented me from eating Wine Gums. All the top boys eat them you know.”Top job for Rucksack
RUCKSACK has held down a full-time job as a news reporter on respected weekly publication Motor Cycle News. The speedy teen is responsible for scooping rivals around the world on new motorcycle models, relevant political rumpuses and the coolest new accessories and kit. MCN editor Marc Potter told weebleracing.co.uk: "Yes, Chris Rucksack is an employee of MCN. He's got his own desk and everything."
WEEBLERACING.CO.UK POLL: Have the latest news stories become too surreal and unrealistic? Click on Rucksack's face to vote yes.
The Weeble Racing news archive has been nominated for the award of 'most lame and empty news archive in the history of news archives'. The judging panel praised its utter lack of humour, sense or even stories. Editor TH said: "Good to be nominated. Probably won't win. Maybe next year as we probably still won't have any more in the archive by then."
Honda CG125 flat-tracker.
Rowrah circuit's bowl-shaped relief is often assumed to be down to a previous life as a quarry. Not so. It's crater-like layout came as a result of a surprisingly vicious highside for Weeble.
Funked-up C90 supermotos.