Greetings, reader number ! Thanks for your interest!

Disclaimer:

We've all heard it, read it, know it by heart, and can recite it in our sleep…

The fact is, Paramount and its parent company Viacom own the entire Star Trek Universe and its characters. Paramount/Viacom do not, however, own the imaginations of the fans, of which I am one. No copyright infringement is intended.

The stories I write are for my enjoyment, and now that I've gotten the guts to publish a couple on the internet, for the enjoyment of other fans like myself.

Rating:

This story is rated NC-17 for graphic violence and adult situations. So if you're under age 18, you cannot read this. Find another story to occupy your time.

Miscellaneous:

Comments are always welcome, but let's not be too critical, I'm not a technogeek. You know how sensitive we artists are to criticism.

Please respect my copyright of this story and do not publish, reprint or distribute publicly without my permission. In addition, if you'd like to write a sequel, please notify me first.

Dedication:

We are all on a journey to our own Alpha Quadrant. Hopefully, this will make the journey a little easier to bear.

This story is respectfully submitted to all the friends I have yet to meet.

Sit back and enjoy….

Live Long and Prosper my friends…

The Challenge

Written by Cheryl E. Moore

2/22/98

********

They had been working on the reports for hours. Chakotay felt as if his neck and back had returned to the Alpha quadrant without him. He closed his eyes and rubbed his neck. Kathryn glanced up from her PADD and frowned.

"Why don't you get some rest Chakotay. I can finish these up."

He smiled at her concern. "Not a chance. I'm almost finished."

Kathryn got up and poured herself another cup of coffee. "You've pulled two double shifts back to back, Commander. Now get some rest." She turned to face him. "That's an order."

Chakotay put his PADD down and stood to face her. "Kathryn… I'm all right. Let me help you finish these." His eyes betrayed his exhaustion. His mind was drifting. His thoughts had been wandering. These late nights only proved to be torture for him. He wanted to take this woman in his arms and make her his own for an eternity…. "Please… I'll leave as soon as we're finished." He wondered if she could read the true meaning behind his words.

Kathryn stood before him and placed a hand on his chest. She struggled to maintain her composure at the feel of his hardened chest. She looked up at this man standing before her, her First Officer, Commander Chakotay… "I see you're going to disobey a direct order."

He stood his ground. He wasn't leaving… "Yes Ma'am."

She sighed. She had given up reprimanding him awhile back. He was too strong willed for her. They would only have another heated discussion about protocol and Star Fleet regulations…. Besides, she really wasn't ready for him to leave her presence… "Very well… But then promise me you'll get some rest after this. I need you by my side Chakotay, not on your death bed."

Her concern for his well being was evident despite her attempts to hide it. Chakotay smiled. It had become increasingly difficult for both of them to hide their feelings. The underlying tones were there but neither of them had voiced them to the other. There was too much at stake. Too much in jeopardy to risk revealing their feelings for each other. They both had a ship to run and a crew to command. He sat back down and picked up his PADD. "I'll get some rest. I promise."

"Good then it's settled. I'll rearrange the shifts for tomorrow and you can sleep in." She rounded the corner of her desk.

Chakotay frowned. He didn't like taking advantage of his position as First Officer. "No thanks. I'll be at my post first thing in the morning. When my shift is finished…then I'll get some rest."

Kathryn sighed and threw her arms up in disgust. "You're incorrigible!"

"Is that a personal observation or a professional one?" He didn't look at her as he concentrated his gaze on the PADD in his hand, but a small smile left the corner of his mouth.

Kathryn twisted her mouth to keep from revealing her delight. "Professional." But she couldn't resist a good battle… "On a personal one, however, I note that you're a stubborn, strong willed, sometimes arrogant, son of a bitch!"

He raised his eyebrow. There was a loving tone in the way she said it. He countered with a volley of his own. "And those are my best points…"

She growled. Playful little battles like this one were becoming all too common. They were fun, but less than satisfying. They only left her feeling empty afterwards. She needed a real battle with him. A physical one…. Her eyes gazed at his broad chest and strong shoulders, and her mind wandered… "Not hardly." The words slipped out before she realized it and she felt herself blush.

He felt her gaze, as the comment caught him off guard. He glanced up quickly and saw the pink in her cheeks. "Excuse me?"

She quickly recovered. Her tone was soft and inviting despite her concentrated effort to make it fit into the boundaries of protocol. "You're more than that Chakotay and you know it. These last four years I don't know what I would've done without you by my side as First Officer." She reached across the desk with her hand. For one brief moment, she needed to feel his hand in hers.

Chakotay put down his PADD. As he touched her hand, he smiled. "By your side I have been…. And by your side I will stay… Kathryn." He held it gently as their fingers entwined. His eyes sparked with emotions. Something in her tone leant more of a meaning than him just being her First Officer.

She inhaled deeply, enjoying his touch, until the chime signaled for entry. They pulled their hands apart quickly, as if they'd just been caught with them in the cookie jar… "Enter."

Lt. Commander Tuvok entered. He noted the thick atmosphere in the room and raised an eyebrow. He glanced at the Captain. "Excuse me Captain, I thought you'd better take a look at these readings Ensign Kim has produced with regard to the planet." He handed her the PADD.

Kathryn leaned back nonchalantly. "Yes. We were just about finished. Any anomalies?"

"None that our long range scanners can identify. I suggest if we are to further our research, an away team would be in order."

She frowned. Voyager was too distant from the planet to think about an away team just yet. "I don't know Tuvok. I'd like to run some more tests from here before I send an away team into the unknown. I want to be sure it's safe. Neelix indicated that there were some rather dangerous life forms in this area of the quadrant."

Chakotay turned to her. "It might be the break we've been looking for Captain. If what Tuvok says is true, personal contact may be the only way of gathering the data we need and replenish our stores. I could take a shuttle down there tomorrow ahead of an away team and determine if there was a risk."

She shot him a look of indignation. Without looking at Tuvok, she issued the order for him to leave. "Excuse us Commander. Commander Chakotay and I must finish these reports."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow as he sensed her frustration with her First Officer. "As you wish. Goodnight Captain. Commander." He turned and exited her ready room. He paused briefly outside the door and frowned as he thought to himself… Tomorrow things would be extremely tense on the bridge.

As the door closed behind him, Kathryn couldn't quell the rage that was building. Chakotay put the PADD down and looked into her eyes. His own stare, cold, as he spoke. "Save your breath Kathryn. I know it's dangerous. I agree with you. I don't want to send an away team down to the surface without knowing something of the dangers they might encounter. One person may form less of a threat than an entire team." His voice was determined and it only angered her more.

"I'm not accustomed to sending an away team of one Chakotay. Particularly when the team consists of my First Officer, and only my First Officer… Request denied."

"Captain…" He growled under his breath.

Her voice was harsh. "Request denied Commander. When the time is right, then a full compliment of crew members will make up the team, not just one. You will not head the away team, and that's an order. You're in need of some rest." She turned away and waved her hand in the air as was her custom.

Chakotay clenched his fists. "An order! Damn You! I'm not accustomed to being treated like a child Captain. I know when 'it's time to go to bed'! I told you I would get some rest when I finished my shift!" His voice was defiant, and his gaze threatening. He would not be put off like some ill mannered child on a school night.

"Your shift is finished now Commander!" She slammed her hand down on her desk and glared at him. It was evident to her that he hadn't slept in over 48 hours and that his temper had gotten the better of him. Still, she couldn't have him usurping her authority as Captain by refusing a direct order. "You're relieved!"

Chakotay glared down at her. It was times like this when he wanted to strangle that lovely neck of hers. The words he spoke were not his own. "You go to HELL!" He turned and started towards the door.

His words cut through her like a hot knife. Her tone became vehement. She hissed. "You weren't dismissed Commander." He'd follow her orders by all the gods, he would!

He paused with his back to her. He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. He clenched his fists and stormed through the doors.

As the doors quickly closed behind him, she slammed her fist down on top of the pile of remaining PADDs, sending several of them spewing onto the floor. In her anger she flung the rest of them onto the floor as she released a scream of rage. She clenched her fists tightly, grimacing in pain as she realized that she had drawn blood with her own fingernails. "Damn you to Hell Chakotay."

She put her hand up to her mouth to kiss the wound as she gazed at the doors to her ready room. Her feelings as a woman told her to go after him, but her senses as a Starship Captain told her stay put. She had to maintain order on this ship if they were going to survive. She would maintain protocol and regulations no matter what the costs. She would not have her First Officer directly disobeying an order, no matter how insignificant. She hit the comm link. "Captain Janeway to Commander Chakotay." Silence. "Commander Chakotay, acknowledge." Silence. She threw up her hands in disgust. "Computer. Where is the location of Commander Chakotay?"

The stoic female voice of the computer replied. "Commander Chakotay is in his quarters."

She hit the comm link once more. Her voice revealed the anger she felt. "Captain Janeway to Commander Chakotay. Acknowledge. That's an order." Silence.

Her rage was building. He was deliberately ignoring her. She stormed out of her ready room. If it was a battle he wanted, then a battle he would get….

Harry and Tom had the late shift. They exchanged quick glances as she exited the bridge. Harry raised his brows. "Ten to one he gets his ass chewed."

Tom just turned back to his console… "Ten to one he doesn't." He smiled. It had become all to evident to him and B'Elanna that there was more to Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway's relationship than protocol demanded. He closed his eyes and shook his head in disgust. If only they'd give in, and stop this constant bickering…. Their battle of wits had far outlasted his and B'Elanna's…. The battle between the Captain and Commander Chakotay had lasted over four years…. He sighed heavily as he punched in some coordinates.

********

The lights of Chakotay's quarters were dimmed. Kathryn didn't bother to request entrance. She punched in her security code that allowed her entrance to any quarters in the case of an emergency. She entered to find him standing with his back to her. "You disobeyed an order Commander."

He didn't turn. His words were cold and harsh. "I disobeyed nothing."

"You refused to answer me!" She took several steps forward. Her breathing exaggerated from her brisk walk from the ready room to his quarters, and from her heated anger. "I will not… Repeat… Will not have you undermining my authority Chakotay!"

"I haven't undermined your authority Kathryn. I've only wounded your pride." His back was still to her. "You can't ask me what to do as a woman, so you tell me what to do as a Captain." His words were harsh and bitter. Her eyes stung with tears, but she forced them back. She walked around in front of him. His eyes were black with rage. He continued to speak with ice on his tongue. "You're afraid of letting anyone see your feminine side because you feel as if it's your weaker side. Your emotions rage out of control there. But as Captain, you can be as cold and heartless as you choose to be. When challenged or in fear of revealing your emotions, you choose to treat me like a Star Fleet First Officer rather than as a man, because it would only reveal your feminine side and your true feelings. A side you want and need to reveal to a man…to me…"

She couldn't stop her right hand. It slapped him hard across the face, drawing blood from the corner of his lip. He didn't flinch. "Damn you Chakotay!" She raised her hand again but he caught it with his own. Her other hand raised in defiance, but he grabbed that wrist as well and wrapped both her arms around behind her. His hands squeezed her wrists as she cried out in pain. He forced her down to her knees as he pulled down her arms and bent over her. His voice was almost demonic.

"As First Officer, I'll obey your ever command. But as a man, you'll treat me with the respect I deserve from you as a woman. Is that understood?"

She grimaced in pain as she stared into his eyes. Her blood was hot with fury. "You don't deserve my respect as a woman, only my retaliation as Captain. I could have you court-martialed for this." She struggled to free her wrists but his hold only tightened.

"Where? We're in the Delta Quadrant remember…" His grin was sinister.

She spit into his face. "You go to Hell!"

"Only if you send me there first." He bent his head and kissed her harshly on the mouth, bending her back on her knees. His teeth nipped at her lips as his tongue forced her mouth open.

The kiss was like pure fire to her lips. She struggled to free herself from his grasp but his hold became forceful and determined. She felt herself falling. Her head was reeling. Her blood boiling. Not from anger but from desire. She began to return the kiss with a raging anger of her own.

He stopped and gazed into her eyes. His eyes narrowed and he pulled her to her feet. "I'll determine the time Kathryn. Not you. Now good night." He grabbed her arm and shoved her through the doors. He ordered a lockout of his quarters... Something he had been able to program without her knowing it. Not even her security clearance as Captain could open the doors without his access code.

As the doors closed behind her, she was left standing in the corridor, stunned by his bold actions. Not only had he disobeyed a direct order, he had violated her emotions. How dare he say those things to her! Didn't he know how she felt behind the façade of her Captain's uniform? She attempted to open the doors but her code wouldn't work.

She tried again. "Damn it…" She cursed him. He had locked out her clearance. A crew member happened by, and quickly glanced away. She realized that her appearance was slightly disheveled, not to mention her emotions. She quickly turned and entered her own quarters.

"Computer! Access Commander Chakotay's personal security program."

"Access denied. Security clearance required."

"Security clearance… Janeway, Delta Gamma Alpha 957." There were still some things she hadn't told him…

"Access granted."

She smiled. She sat down at her PADD and searched through his codes. It had to be there. She would not have him lock her out on her own ship! There it was, the last entry… "Damn!" He'd written the last entry in his native tongue…

"Computer! Access Native American tribal languages database."

"Cannot comply. Database temporarily off-line for maintenance."

She frowned. "Who ordered the maintenance?… Never mind… Delete last request." She knew who had ordered it. This was going to be a long battle of wits, and worse, an even longer night. She rubbed her wrists, which were still sore from his grasp. She touched her lips which were still on fire from his kiss. "You'll pay for this outrage Chakotay." She hissed under her breath.

After a very long hour of frustration and anger, she finally changed her clothes and crawled under the covers. She closed her eyes, but knew that sleep would not come easy this night. "Damn it! Why did he have to kiss me?" she thought to herself. She tossed and turned. "Why couldn't he have kept that distance between us? Didn't he realize the risks? A relationship between us is out of the question! I couldn't become involved! I have a ship to run! Hell! Chakotay has a ship to run!"

She sighed heavily in her sleep. She was restless. His touch. His kiss. They burned through her dreams like a white hot poker. She continued to toss as thoughts of this man invaded her dreams. A personal relationship other than on a professional level was definitely out of the question. They had a ship to run, and an entire crew to be responsible for. They couldn't let their own personal feelings interfere with those duties for God's sake!

Her thoughts of their brief encounter invaded her sleep once more. She felt his touch, his breath, his lips searing hers. She could see the rage and raw emotions in his eyes. She could feel the power of his hold on her. She moaned and awoke startled as she realized she was touching herself. She threw her head back and closed her eyes. "Damn! This is a long night!" She glanced at the time display on the table next to her bed. She sighed heavily as she realized only four hours had passed. "Forget Chakotay", she said to herself, "it's you that needs the rest…" She feel back against the pillow and closed her eyes once again…

More dreams. More erotic visions of his body next to hers. She opened her eyes. "Damn it! I won't give in! I will not let you win this battle Chakotay." She crawled from beneath the covers. She began to pace like a caged lioness, hungry for its freedom. Freedom from the dreams that were haunting her this night, worse than the nights before….

She stopped suddenly and lowered her hand from her chin. She stormed through the doors. Once in the corridor she checked for any stray crewmen that might be wandering about in the middle of the night. Once satisfied that there were none, she walked over to the security pad at his doorway. She punched in her security clearance, then the stardate that they had had their first encounter as Star Fleet and Maquis. The doors slid open. She smiled and said quietly under her breath. "You've always told me it was a day to remember…"

She entered his domain quietly. She needed to be careful, lest he awake and put her through another one of his 'assaults'. She felt herself grow warm at the prospect. She shook it off and glanced over at him sleeping. "Damn you Chakotay!" she thought to herself. "How can you sleep so soundly when I toss and turn…."

She looked into his face. He was indeed exhausted. His breathing was deep, almost labored in its efforts. She smiled. Part of her wanted to wake him and give him a thorough thrashing for his insolence, and part of her wanted to take him in her arms as he slept. She closed her eyes and sighed. She turned and exited to return to her quarters.

A few moments passed before she returned. She entered as quietly as before. She stuck the item in the pillow next to his head. She smiled as she thought of its desired effect on him the next morning. As he stirred slightly she disappeared into the shadows. Satisfied that he would not awaken, she exited as quietly as she had entered.

********

Chakotay stirred. He inhaled deeply as sleep left him. Thanks to the Doctor, he had slept soundly for the first night in months. He had finally given in to the idea that the only way he could push her out of his mind at night was to invite something else in, namely a sleep additive. At least it did not leave him drowsy.

He caught the glint in his eye and turned suddenly, startled that his privacy had been invaded by someone during the night. He placed his fingers around the shaft and pulled it from its sheath in the pillow. The small dagger glistened in the dim light of his bedroom, its jewels sparkling like stars. He turned it in his hand, clenching it tightly as it drew blood. He didn't even flinch from the pain. His blood boiled at the thought that she had broken his code and invaded his privacy. Wasn't it enough that she already invaded his dreams at night and every waking thought? He remembered what he had told her the night he had given it to her… "It was a tradition amongst many early Native American tribes, including my ancestors, to cast a spear in the wake of their enemy's path. It was perceived as a call to battle…"

"Damn you Kathryn!" The message was clear. The challenge had been made.

********

The doors to her ready room opened. She didn't have to look up to know who it was. She could smell his cologne. His strong hand drove the dagger into her desk. She pulled back at it's close proximity. Momentarily ruffled by the display of his strength, she raised her eyes to meet his.

His eyes flashed. "Challenge accepted."

Her own eyes flashed the emotions behind them. "This is my ship Chakotay. Don't ever lock me out again. I will come and go as I please."

"Have you no consideration of one's privacy?" His tone was harsh. He didn't appreciate his privacy being invaded…by anyone.

"When you have no consideration for my emotions… No."

"You needed to be told the truth." His eyes narrowed at her reference to the night before.

"You used the moment to take advantage of me! You will not 'assault' me like that again Commander."

He leaned over her desk, as his face became close to hers. He glared into her eyes as his mouth twisted into a small grin. "Not as your First Officer I won't… but as a man… I will." His tone was final and almost sinister in nature. He turned, exited and took his place on the bridge.

Once again, he had left her speechless and angry at his boldness. She felt herself warm at the thought of his final words. She clenched her fists. She needed to regain her composure and flush the red out of her cheeks before she took her place at his side on the bridge. She sighed heavily.

As she exited her ready room, Tom and Harry exchanged glances, as other members of the crew quickly glanced away from her gaze. Tuvok raised his eyebrow in confirmation of his thought the night before. It was indeed going to be tense on the bridge today.

She sat down in her chair and glanced over at Chakotay. He didn't show any signs of emotion at that moment, and she wanted to slap him for his control. She turned her concentration to Tom. "Mr. Paris. Ease us in a bit. I want to take a closer look at that planet."

Tom turned back to his console and smiled. "Yes Ma'am." He wondered briefly if he and B'Elanna had been so stubborn about their emotions for each other.

Kathryn turned to Harry. "Approximate time to orbit Mr. Kim."

"Two hours, 47 minutes Captain."

"Good. Proceed with the scans. I want to make sure we're not stepping into a trap."

Harry inhaled deeply. "Yes Ma'am. I'll have the data for you within the hour."

"No rush Mr. Kim. I want to take my time with this one…." She wondered if Chakotay caught her double innuendo. She noticed he quickly side glanced in her direction. Good, she thought. He did.

Chakotay would not be put off. He called her bluff. His request would become public. She dared not make a scene in front of the crew of the bridge. And save for B'Elanna in Engineering, they were her closest in command. "Might I suggest an away team Captain? I could lead a team to the planet's surface so that we could gather data and samples directly from there." His words were calm and decisive. The request innocent enough. If she denied the request it would appear to all on board the bridge that she was trying to keep him from performing his duties as First Officer. That decision alone could send difficult ramifications throughout the entire crew… they might feel as though she no longer held faith or trust in his abilities… or worse yet… that she was trying to protect him while sending other crew members into possible danger. His eyes fixed upon her as Tuvok raised his eyebrow.

Tuvok was amazed that the Commander had made public his request. It had been evident to him the night before as he left her ready room, that the Captain would deny Chakotay's request to lead this away team to the surface no matter what.

She turned on Chakotay, as her eyes flashed with anger. It was all too apparent what meaning lay behind her gaze. She couldn't retaliate from that volley. She was temporarily out of ammunition and he knew it. "Damn you to hell for that," she thought to herself. She fixed her eyes on his as she spoke. "I'll take it under advisement Commander. In the meantime, continue to monitor for any signs of life."

Tuvok tilted his head in amazement.

Tom quickly looked at Harry as a quizzical look passed over his face. Something as up. "Why would she refuse the Commander like that?" He thought to himself.

Her response to his request had been weak and she knew it. What was worse, was that the whole bridge crew knew it. She cursed herself mentally for not taking more time to answer. She rose from her seat. "I'll be in Engineering. Call me when the data is complete." She stalked off the bridge. Tuvok, Harry and Tom quickly returned their gazes to their consoles.

Chakotay fixed his gaze on the PADD in his hand as an evil little smile crossed his lips.

********

Within three hours they had taken orbit around the planet. Harry entered the ready room with PADDs in hand.

"As you requested Captain." He placed the PADDs on her desk, and turned to leave.

"Thank you Harry." She turned. "Oh and Harry… Good work"

"Yes Ma'am. Thank you." He smiled as he exited her ready room.

She began to read through the reports. She didn't like what she was reading. There were no life signs on the planet, but yet it could sustain any carbon based life form. The supply of raw materials was more than enough to satisfy the ship's starving stores, and the dilithium would keep B'Elanna busy for months. It was all too good to be true… She had been pacing as she read the last collection of data. The chime signaled for entry…

"Come." As the doors closed she turned right into him.

"Captain." His voice was low.

She caught herself before she collided with his chest. She regained her composure quickly as she stepped backward away from him. "Commander."

"You wanted to see me."

His damn cologne dulled her senses. It was difficult enough to think when he was in such close proximity to her. Why did he have to wear that damn erotic cologne when he was around her? "Yes… I don't appreciate that stunt you pulled earlier Chakotay."

"It was a harmless request Captain. I'd like to lead the away team down to the planet."

"You knew I couldn't deny your request in front of the crew."

He smiled. "Of course you could. You are, afterall, the Captain…"

She turned to glare at him. "And don't you forget it Commander. On this ship I give the orders and I expect my officers to carry them out. I'm also the one who has the last word on decisions that affect the lives and well being of this crew… including my First Officer." Her eyes betrayed her emotions.

Chakotay took a step closer to her invading her personal space. "Are you trying to protect me? Or yourself Kathryn?"

She took a step backward but her desk blocked her exit. He leaned over and placed his hands on the desk, trapping her between his arms. She instinctively put her hand up in protest. "Back off Commander."

He sneered, and gazed deep into her eyes. "You can't deny my request Kathryn." His meaning was twofold and he glared at her.

"I can and I will. Tuvok will lead the team." She would not let him win this skirmish of their battle.

He put his hands on her arms. "Just what kind of impression are you trying to make Kathryn?"

She tightened her arms in protest. "The right one. Tuvok will lead the team. My word is final."

"Why do you choose to treat me like this? I'm still First Officer on this ship. It's my right, and your obligation to honor the request I make."

She struggled to get free from his grasp. His hold only tightened. His eyes burned through her soul. She averted her eyes to avoid his penetrating gaze. "I have no choice."

"You're the Captain, Kathryn. The choice is yours to make."

His gaze was hypnotizing. His touch sent electricity through her veins. She fought to maintain control. She forced her reply from her lips. "No."

"For four years I've watched you. I've been there for you. Protecting you. I've been at your side through thick and thin, and yet you continue to deny me simple requests like this one! Furthermore, you continually refuse me the reason for these denials!!"

The words came from the back of her throat. They were not her own. They couldn't be… "I'll deny any request that puts you in danger and threatens to take you from my side!" She recoiled in horror as she spoke them.

His eyes narrowed and her studied her expression. He released his hold, and stood upright. Her eyes betrayed the emotions she felt for him and he was momentarily stunned. He sighed heavily. He felt like a child being protected by its mother. Didn't she understand that part of his duty as First Officer was to lead an away team, perhaps into danger? Didn't she understand that he would do anything she asked willingly and without regret? It was his duty to her as First Officer of Voyager. It was his desire as a man to fulfill her every need….

He felt wounded by her gaze. Her eyes had betrayed her heart. He needed to press the point, yet he felt as though he had just pushed her over the edge. He had stepped over the imaginary line they had drawn between them, and forced her to reveal the true nature behind her denials as a Captain to her First Officer. The revelation was not given freely and he turned away from her, guilt and rage consuming his soul. She cared for him, but didn't trust him to take care of himself. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. "I see… May I leave?"

Damn him to Hell and back for forcing the issue, she thought. She couldn't help but notice the expression on his face and the hurt in his eyes. She had wounded him deeply. Perhaps crippling him with that last remark… She had taken away his sense of pride, not only as her First Officer, but as a man as well. He would now forever believe that she saw him as a weak man in need of protection. She straightened and clenched her teeth in frustration. "Dismissed."

As the doors slid open, she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and called after him. "Commander Chakotay!"

He paused in the doorway.

The battle lines were now in her territory. There was only one alternative… "Be in the shuttle bay at 16:00 hours. You'll be leading the away team. Lt. Paris will accompany you."

He proceeded onto the bridge as the doors closed behind him. Kathryn turned toward her desk and lowered her head. She suddenly felt nauseous. Something in the pit of her stomach told her that she was sending him into impending doom, and it frightened her to the core.

********

As the alarm went off on her PADD, she growled. 16:00 hours had come too quickly and the hours preceding it had been filled with nothing but silence from her First Officer. Their normal banter was gone, replaced by routine orders, requests and affirmations. She rubbed her neck and temples. She needed one of his famous neck rubs… She needed to feel his hands on her… She needed to speak to him… She hit the comm badge. "Captain Janeway to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"I need to speak with you in my ready room Commander."

"Acknowledged." He hit the comm badge in frustration as he handed Tom the last container to load on the shuttle. "Shit!" He had hoped that they would leave before she summoned him. He did not want to face her.

********

He strode into her ready room in frustration. She was rubbing her neck. He paused at the sight of obvious tension on her face. His tone softened. "You wanted to see me Captain?"

She closed her eyes as she continued to rub and twist her neck. "Yes I did Commander. I've been looking over these reports that Harry has put together and something isn't quite right. Call it gut instinct, call it women's intuition… It's all too good to be true. No visible life forms with this many resources and raw materials?" She sighed. "Damn my neck hurts."

Chakotay stepped closer. He wanted to reach out and touch her, help ease the tension she felt, but he dared not. It would be giving into her. "Perhaps you are being too suspicious Captain. This planet could be in its infancy."

She raised her head to look up at him and a sharp pain shot down her spine, causing her to wince. "I considered that… Ahh…Damn it!" She grabbed her shoulder.

Chakotay couldn't resist. He walked behind her and placed his hands on her neck and shoulders. She seemed to relax at his very touch. "Here… may I help?"

She closed her eyes at the feel of his hands. The tension of sending him on this away mission was gnawing at her… "Yes…Please…" She lowered her head to let him work on her neck.

"Why so tense Captain?" His hands kneaded the knots from her neck and shoulders. He had never known her to be this tense before an away mission…

She raised her head and stood. Slowly turning to face him. Only the chair kept her from putting her arms around him in desperation. Her eyes gazed up at him, betraying her… "I don't like this Chakotay… I feel so uncertain about it…"

"It is a routine away mission Captain… What could possibly happen?" His face displayed determination.

She read the lines of determination in his jaw and sighed. It was no use. He was going with or without her blessing… She forced a smile… "Nothing…"

He crooked his head slightly. "Then if you'll excuse me, Tom is waiting." He rounded the corner of her desk and walked towards the doors. He paused for a moment before turning. "Captain… What is the real reason behind your doubts?"

She turned to face him, a tear glistening in the corner of her eye. "There is no reason Commander. Chalk it up to nerves…" Her tone was factual and terse. She stiffened. She had to maintain her composure damn it.

He frowned at her reluctance to tell him the truth. He had definitely overstepped the line earlier, and now he'd never know her true feelings, nor could he ever express his. "Very well. See you in a couple of days, Captain." He turned, the doors opened and he stepped forward.

She couldn't let him go… She called after him… "Chakotay…."

He paused but his back was to her. He did not want her to see the sorrow in his face.

She lost her nerve… All she could say was, "Be careful." As the doors closed behind him, she slumped to her desk. It had taken all of her energy to keep from running into his arms and begging him not to leave her. What was worse… he had called her 'Captain' before he left….

********

Tom punched in the coordinates of their proposed landing as the shuttle broke into the planet's atmosphere. It was met immediately with extreme turbulence. An electromagnetic storm had the planet in it grip. Tom struggled to keep control as the storm thrashed at the shuttle, threatening to devour it.

Chakotay hit his comm badge. "Shuttle Tiberion to Voyager! We've encountered an electromagnetic storm!" He could tell his transmission was garbled. "Shuttle Tiberion to Voyager do you read?"

Tom cried out… "I can't control her Commander! I've lost starboard stabilizer controls, and main thrusters!"

Chakotay rose from his seat to stand behind Tom at the starboard panel. Together they had to maintain control of this roller coaster ride or they would crash. The shuttle thrashed about horribly, threatening to spin out of control and flip on its side. An electromagnetic jolt hit the back of the ship. "We've lost our rear shields! I'll have to compensate! Diverting auxiliary power to the shields!" The ship took another direct hit from the storm on its starboard side, sending jolts of electricity through the control panel where Chakotay stood. It knocked him sideways into the bulkhead.

Tom spoke breathlessly, visibly frustrated that he couldn't control the ship from its path with disaster. He struggled in vain to keep the shuttle aloft as the hard ground rapidly approached. He did not see Chakotay slump to the ground behind him as he cried out. "Commander! Hold on! I've lost her!"

As the shuttle crashed bow first into the rocks, it flipped over on its side. Tom was thrown from his seat and under the main control panel. He felt a searing jolt in his shoulder as it dislocated under the weight of his body being thrown to the floor. The nose collapsed inward, pinning him under the weight of the panel's debris. The weight of the console crushed his legs, and he cried out in agony, feeling his bones shatter and break. As he blacked out in pain, he didn't see the starboard bulkhead collapse onto Chakotay's still form.

********

The electromagnetic jolt had sent a wave of searing pain through his body. He felt his nerves were on fire as he hit the bulkhead hard, knocking the wind out of him. As he slumped to the floor, his lungs screamed for air. He grabbed for something to hold on to as the shuttle flipped on its side, collapsing the bulkhead, the heavy metals crushing him under their huge weight. He cried out, but no sound escaped his lips. He couldn't breathe, his lungs crushed from the weight of the bulkhead. An intense pain shot through his abdomen and left side as his eyes tried to focus on his non-human assailant, its weapon cutting through him effortlessly. His hands tried to keep the weapon at bay but the assailant was too big and strong. As it impaled him between the floor and the bulkhead, he caught glimpse of his hands pressing against the weapon that had befallen him…they were covered in blood…his eyes rolled back into his head as blackness engulfed him. Only one thought came to him as he felt his life ebb… it escaped his lips in silence… "Kathryn…"

********

The bridge had become a hub of activity. Tuvok and Harry were trying to maintain contact with the ill-fated shuttle. "Voyager to Shuttle Tiberion, Please repeat! Your message is garbled. Say again! Commander Chakotay please acknowledge! Ensign Kim! Can you maintain a lock on their location?"

"I'm trying Commander! The storm is too powerful and intense! Sensors are not responding! I'm losing them!"

"Try and compensate by filtering the ionization fields!"

"No use Commander…" Harry was visibly shaken as he watched the sensors. The shuttle had disappeared…

********

The situation on the bridge had not been communicated to her at that moment as she was sitting on her couch, gazing at the stars and the planet below. The sense of foreboding had become stronger in the last hour, and she rubbed her neck to ease the tension…. As she closed her eyes briefly, she heard her name… "Kathryn…" She opened her eyes in terror at the sight of the horrible image that laid before her, and turned suddenly, looking for him. A sudden wave of nausea flooded her senses. Her eyes grew wide with fear… She could barely hear the words that escaped her lips… "Chakotay… No!" She ran onto the bridge as Harry watched the sensors…

"What's happened?!" Her voice was full of fear and dread, her body stiff with consternation.

Tuvok did not glance up from his frantic efforts to find the Tiberion… "An electromagnetic storm Captain. We've lost contact with the shuttle."

Harry's face grew pale. "Commander, I've lost them."

Kathryn's shoulders sagged under the weight of his remark. She strode over to his console and pushed him aside. "No! Something has happened! We have to find them!"

Harry was stunned by her actions. "Captain… The storm… I've tried."

She turned vehemently and slapped him, visibly shaken… "Damn you! You haven't tried hard enough!" Harry coiled back from her assault. Her eyes were filled with an emotion he had never seen in her before… fear….

Tuvok was behind her as she raised her hand once again. His hand caught hers in the air as he wrapped his arm around her. "Captain!"

She struggled to free herself. The vision of what she had seen nauseating her. "Let go of me! We have to find them! We have to…." Her words were cut off as Tuvok's hand pressed against her pressure point. She slumped forward in his arms.

"Ensign Kim. Please resume you efforts. I am taking the Captain to her quarters."

"Aye. Aye Sir. And Commander… I know she didn't mean it…"

As he picked Kathryn up, "You are right Ensign. But I fear the Captain knows something that we do not. Keep searching."

********

Tuvok laid her gently on the couch in her quarters. He sat down next to her with a glass of water in his hands. Her eyes slowly opened. "I am sorry Captain. You were acting irrationally with your actions against Ensign Kim."

She rubbed her temples trying to force the image from her mind. Tears began welling in her eyes. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry Tuvok. It's just…" she felt the words stick in the back of her throat. "We have to find them Tuvok. They've crashed… they've been injured… and Chakotay…" her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes and turned her head away from him.

Tuvok raised an eyebrow at her visible grief. In all the years he had known her, she had not displayed such emotion. She was indeed worried and he sensed, fearful of her First Officer's life. "Captain… We will continue our efforts. In the meantime, I suggest you remain in your quarters until we have more information. That outburst of emotion was not like you and another outburst of emotion such as that will undermine your authority as ship's captain."

"I couldn't help myself Tuvok. For a split second, I saw what happened! I saw him being crushed under the weight of the bulkhead! I saw him… the blood… his pain…." She covered her face as the tears began to flow. "He may be dying Tuvok! We've got to save him! We've got to find them before it's too late!"

"Captain Janeway. You are visibly shaken by what you have perceived to be the Commander's and the Lieutenant's fate. But you must not distress yourself with these perceptions and images. Until we are sure, fear and grief will only hamper our efforts to find them." He stood. It was not his nature as a Vulcan to show emotion, yet the sight of his Captain so distraught over the possible loss of her First Officer was more than he could bear at the moment. "If you'll excuse me, I must return to the bridge." As the doors slid open, he paused and turned back towards her. "We will find them Captain. The Commander will be all right." The doors slid closed behind him…

Kathryn shook with the fear overcoming her soul… "Oh Chakotay! Please! Hold on!"

********

Tom stirred at the sound of his dying shuttle. He felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and legs as he tried to move. "Ahhh… Damn!" He glanced down at his legs pinned beneath the wreckage. He tried to move but it was no use, he grimaced in agony, both legs were broken. "Great! And the medical gear is at the back of the shuttle." He clenched his shoulder as he shifted so he could gaze at the damage surrounding him. "Lt. Paris to Voyager, please respond." Dead silence. "Shit! Now is not a good time for a communication malfunction."

"Commander?" He asked as his eyes focused on the wreckage of the Starboard side of the shuttle. Silence greeted his query. "Chakotay?" No answer. "Chakotay, damn it answer me." His eyes caught the glimpse of the red portion of Chakotay's uniform under the bulkhead and his face paled. "Mother of God! Chakotay!"

Tom glanced around for something to use as a wedge. He needed to clear himself from the twisted console that lay on top of him. From his viewpoint, the entire Starboard side of the shuttle had Chakotay buried in its grasp.

********

The nerves in his legs were on fire. He needed both arms to pull down on the piece of metal girding he had positioned as a crowbar under the console. He closed his eyes as he took hold of his wrist and yanked on his wounded arm. A cry of pain escaped his lips, replaced by a wave of nausea. He forced back the urge, and grabbed the girding with both hands, as his shoulder cried out in protest. "Damn you! Move!" He pulled harder, using his upper body as a sinking weight against the fulcrum. The console gave way a bit. "Move you son of a bitch!" In response to his anger, it freed him from its clutches. He shoved the girding under it further to act as a wedge so he could drag himself clear.

He clutched at his legs. Both were broken, but the right had a compound fracture in three places. His head reeled from the pain as he dragged himself closer to Chakotay's still body. Without the medical equipment he would be worthless to help him. He struggled to reach the back of the shuttle where the medical supplies had been placed. "Hold on Chakotay. I'll get the triage kit." He spoke to silence.

He glanced at the cabinet which once held the equipment and supplies he so desperately needed. It lay open and smoldering. "Damn… Please let there be something…" His hand fumbled through the smoldering ashes and debris. Nothing was salvageable. "Bloody Hell!"

He glanced back over in Chakotay's direction, and began to painfully drag himself towards the bulkhead. "Nothing Commander… You'll just have to live with my bedside manner." His dry humor was forced and strained at the sight of Voyager's First Officer.

He finally reached Chakotay's side and pushed away several of the smaller pieces of debris and bulkhead that had him buried. He checked Chakotay's carotid pulse. It was weak. Too weak… "Damn it Chakotay! I don't need this! The Captain will have my neck if anything happens to you."

His movements were frantic. He felt time was against him. He knew how Captain Janeway would react if something happened to her First Officer. This man lying buried under the massive weight of the bulkhead was her entire life whether she wanted to admit it or not.

As he cradled his sore arm across his chest, his good hand searched what areas of Chakotay's body which were exposed for injuries. What he wouldn't give for a Tricorder right now… He needed to remove a piece of wreckage from Chakotay's chest. He recoiled in horror from the image that lay before him. He covered his mouth and turned away quickly as the bile rose forth.

As he recovered from the spasm, he turned back again to gaze at Chakotay's blood flowing freely from the wound. He couldn't believe what he saw… A piece of the bulkhead had impaled him. Tom's hand instinctively went to apply pressure. But to where? Blood was pouring from his entire abdomen and back. His eyes surveyed the damage. He felt along Chakotay's side and back as best he could. He feared the worst as his hand became drenched in Chakotay's blood. His face turned ashen as his hand found what he had feared. The bulkhead had not only impaled Chakotay, it was wedged tightly into the floor of the shuttle. Chakotay could not be moved.

Tom slumped back against the bulkhead and collapsed from desperation. Tears flowed down his cheeks as realization set in. The First Officer of Voyager was lying next to him skewered like a piece of meat, and practically cut in half, and here he was, powerless to help him. He stared down in disbelief at his hands, which were covered in Chakotay's blood. "Oh God! Please no…. Chakotay…."

He placed his bloody hand on Chakotay's shoulder. "Please Chakotay! Hold on…"

Tom sighed heavily. He could tell that Chakotay's breathing was shallow and labored. No doubt, one of his lungs, if not both, had collapsed. Chakotay's blood had soaked the floor where he lay, staining the carpet a deep red. Tom closed his eyes at the sight before him. Chakotay was dying in a pool of his own blood and he was without medical supplies to stop the bleeding and ease his pain. He needed to get help from Voyager, and still no communication due to that damn storm…. He closed his eyes and prayed a silent prayer. "Please God! Help us… help us before it's too late…"

Tom had never felt such helplessness. Chakotay's life was ebbing away in the darkness, as the storm continued to rage around them.

********

The hours went by at an agonizingly slow rate. As he passed in and out of consciousness from shock and pain, Tom prayed for deliverance from this living hell he and Chakotay had been sucked into. Despite his repeated attempts, there was still no contact with Voyager. He couldn't even make Chakotay more comfortable without seriously injuring him further.

His own legs throbbed from the pain, and his shoulder had grown stiff. His head and stomach continued to reel from his own pain, and the sight of Chakotay's wounds.

Tom was amazed, yet eternally grateful, that Chakotay was still breathing. The weight of the bulkhead was enormous, and the blood loss that Chakotay had suffered had caused his normal bronze coloring to turn ashen. His pulse was barely discernible. Chakotay was hanging onto a thread for dear life.

He reached over and placed his hand on Chakotay's shoulder… "Come on Commander. Please come out of this… Please…"

Chakotay's eyes slowly opened at the touch of Tom's hand. He gasped for air to fill his lungs, but there was none. He coughed, sending shards of pain through his entire body. He convulsed repeatedly and the bulkhead only drove its teeth deeper into his flesh. He cried out in extreme agony as Tom tried to hold him to keep him from giving any more flesh to the metal which impaled him and that was eating away at his side. He clenched Tom's shoulder with his hand, as his eyes pleaded for deliverance. "Ahhhh… Tom! Please…Help me!!." Tears of pain streaked his face as the convulsions continued, threatening to rip him apart.

Their struggle continued as tears poured from Tom's eyes. He gathered all his strength and positioned himself at Chakotay's shoulders, cradling his head in his lap, as his hands fought to keep him still from the convulsions that wracked his body. "Oh God! Hold on Chakotay! Please! Don't you dare die on me!"

A final convulsion, Chakotay's body went limp in his hands.

Tom's heart skipped a beat. His eyes widened in fear as he felt for Chakotay's carotid artery. Nothing. "Damn you Chakotay! Don't do this to me!"

His strength from their struggle had left his arms feeling like wet noodles. He tried to pull himself upright as he beat his fist against Chakotay's chest. He needed his strength… He needed to begin the compression's but his arms failed him… Tears streaked down his face as pulled Chakotay's body close…

He raised his eyes to the heavens and screamed. "Noooo!!" He hit his comm badge once more. "Paris to Voyager! Come in Damn you!"

********

It had been over eight hours since Voyager had lost contact with the shuttle. Tuvok and Harry and other members of the bridge had been frantically trying to restore some sort of communication, but the effects of the storm were countering their efforts.

B'Elanna had retreated from Engineering to the bridge. She was too distraught at the moment to perform her duties effectively. Her face displayed the worry and grief she had felt from the moment she heard of the disaster. As she entered the bridge, there was a strange silence. Harry looked up briefly to acknowledge her and shook his head slightly. There was still no word. She glanced over at Captain Janeway. She couldn't help but notice the appearance of the Voyager's normally calm and collected Captain. Her jaw was clenched in fear and worry. Her hair was disheveled from her continually running her hands through it. B'Elanna took a step towards her.

"Captain?" It was evident to her that Kathryn was deep in thought. She placed her hand on Kathryn's shoulder gently, but it startled her just the same. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

Kathryn glanced up in a daze. Her eyes red from tears and exhaustion. "Humm… Oh B'Elanna… It's all right… I was lost in thought."

B'Elanna forced a smile. "They'll be all right." Who was she trying to convince, she thought, herself or Captain Janeway?

Kathryn couldn't smile. The tears were stinging her eyes. She placed her hand on B'Elanna's. "I pray your right B'Elanna… I pray your right." She turned her face to gaze into B'Elanna's eyes. She needed the companionship of another female in grief and worry to help ease her own. "Come, let's talk in my ready room." She got up and walked slowly through the doors, hesitant to leave the bridge for fear something would happen while she was gone.

Tuvok sensed her fear and spoke. "I will notify you the moment we know anything Captain."

She turned to him. The words silent on her lips, but loud in her eyes. "Thank you."

********

The doors closed behind them as Kathryn walked over to her desk and placed her hands on it, head bent in desperation. Her focus shifted to the dagger still perched where Chakotay had driven it in with his bare hand that very morning. She reached out and touched it, as her knees buckled beneath her. She collapsed in front of the desk with her head on her arm and her hand around the dagger. "Oh God! Chakotay!" Her cry was mournful and B'Elanna rushed to her side.

"Captain!" She placed her hands under Kathryn's arms and tried to pull her to her feet, but Kathryn's grief had her firmly rooted in place. B'Elanna spoke gently… "Captain… Kathryn…please… you must be strong. We'll find them."

Kathryn turned to B'Elanna and buried her head once more. "It's been over eight hours B'Elanna! That damned storm has prevented our scanners from getting a fix on them. We can't even determine if they are alive!"

B'Elanna pulled back from the thought that overcame her. She wouldn't hear of such a thing. Tom was all right. She knew it! "No! They are alive Captain! We must believe that!"

Kathryn caressed the handle of the dagger gently, before pulling it from it's place in her desk. "Oh God! B'Elanna… If only he hadn't gone on this away mission! I knew something was going to happen! It was too dangerous!" Her eyes were filled with fear and uncertainty.

B'Elanna placed her hand on the dagger in Kathryn's grasp, fearful of what she might try and do. She recognized it. Chakotay had shown it to her the night before he had given it to Kathryn. She had been touched that he wanted to share his delight with her for something that she, Tom and other members of the crew had already suspected. Chakotay was head over heels in love with the Captain… She smiled at the recent memory and looked into Kathryn's eyes. "Kathryn… he will return to you. He loves you."

Kathryn looked up at her. The words rang in her ears, yet she couldn't believe them… Why hadn't he spoken of his love…? She closed her eyes at the thought…. He had, and she had rebuked him for it. She felt dizzy and faint as she remembered their argument. Her head reeling from the memories of their last moments in each other's presence… she remembered his words… "It is a routine away mission Captain… What could possibly happen?" She grabbed B'Elanna's shoulder and buried her head in her Engineer's shoulder… "Oh B'Elanna! I love him so much! I can't lose him…."

B'Elanna put her arms around her to comfort her. She closed her eyes. "Please God! Let them be all right…"

Their comforting embrace was broken by Tuvok's voice. "Captain Janeway to the bridge."

They rose to their feet as the dagger slipped from Kathryn's grasp, falling to the floor beneath her desk. They rushed onto the bridge. Harry was frantically trying to get a transporter lock as Tuvok spoke. His voice betrayed his concern.

"The storm is weakening Captain. We have been able to locate the shuttle, Lt. Paris and Commander Chakotay."

Kathryn could barely speak through the fear in her throat that Tuvok's concern had created. "And…?"

Tuvok sighed heavily as he took a step closer to her. "We are beaming them directly to Sickbay."

Harry's voice interrupted them… "I've got them!… Ensign Kim to the Doctor, two for emergency transport to Sickbay… Have emergency life support standing by!" His face said it all. One or both of them was in critical condition, endanger of their life….

Kathryn's eyes widened with fear… She instinctively knew which one… Kathryn started past Tuvok as he grabbed her shoulders… "Captain… I think it best if you wait here until the Doctor can determine…"

"Like Hell I will! Now get out of my way!" She pushed him back against the railing as she rushed into the turbolift.

B'Elanna quickly glanced after her then back to Tuvok. He straightened his shoulders, and met her questioning gaze… He sighed… "At the moment there is only one set of life signs Lieutenant. Those of Lt. Paris."

With that, B'Elanna rushed from the bridge… Kathryn couldn't face this alone….

********

Kathryn ran from the turbolift running into a crew member that was waiting by the door. She raced down the corridor to Sickbay as the haze of the transporter beam revealed its passengers. She let out a cry of terror at the sight that greeted her. Tom was slumped over Chakotay's bloodied body, pleading for his life.

She faltered as B'Elanna ran up behind her. Relieved that Tom was alive, she grabbed Kathryn's shoulders to steady her as the Doctor quickly bent down and examined Chakotay. Two other crewman carefully pulled Tom away and carried him to one of the bio-beds. He was delirious from shock and grief. The Doctor ordered a mild sedative and quickly turned his focus on Chakotay, frantically scanning his condition.

Both Kathryn and B'Elanna gasped at the sight of his wounds. Kathryn pushed herself free and ran over to his side. She knelt and picked up his hand, staring at his side. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"He's in full cardiac arrest! Quickly, help me get him to the bio-bed!" As Chakotay's lifeless form was lowered gently onto the bio-bed, he administered 50cc of adrenaline, and grabbed the cardiac stimulator from the table.

"Captain Please!" He pulled her hand away roughly as he placed the stimulator on Chakotay's chest. Nothing. He increased the charge and tried again. Still nothing. He pushed her aside and began chest compression's. Kathryn felt as if her life had just been pulled from her grasp. She grabbed the head of the bio-bed to keep from falling. Her eyes were fixed on Chakotay's face. The ashen pale of his color sickening her…

The sensors were slow to react. The Doctor administered another 20 cc of adrenaline and turned to the Captain. "Captain…the Commander is in grave condition. I may not be able to save him."

"No… You must save him…." she was in a daze….

B'Elanna quickly glanced over at Tom who was now asleep, and satisfied that he was all right for the moment, stepped closer to her, well aware that she could collapse at any moment.

The look on the Doctor's face was grim. "Captain… he's lost too much blood, his lungs have collapsed, his internal organs are severely damaged and his heart and brain have suffered severe trauma! I'll do what I can, but we must be realistic!"

"No…Please…No…" Her voice was barely audible. She touched his face with her hands and pressed her cheek next to his… "No… Chakotay…please… I love you…." Her words trailed off as the alarm sensors went off once again.

The Doctor cursed. "Damn it Commander! Stay with me!" He slammed his fist down on Chakotay's chest once more, and grabbed the cardiac stimulator.

He turned once again to the Captain. "Captain…You'll need to leave. I've got to try and operate…. I'm losing him." He turned his attention to Chakotay… "Prepare for emergency surgery Ensign." He shouted at the other ensign some medical mumbo jumbo and turned to B'Elanna. "Lieutenant! Get her out of here now!" He turned and grabbed the cortical stimulator, medical replicator and regenerator.

B'Elanna grabbed Kathryn's shoulders and pulled her away from the bio-bed. Kathryn struggled to push her away… "No!! I won't leave him!!"

"Captain! Please! Let the Doctor do his work! There's nothing more you can do!"

Kathryn turned on her with eyes filled with anger and grief. "Oh yes there is… I can be here for him! He needs me!"

The ensign stuck the hypospray in her neck. Her face registered the shock as her eyes closed and she slumped into B'Elanna's arms.

The Doctor spoke tersely. "If she wants to stay by his side, she will do it under sedation. I will not have hysterics in my sickbay!" He activated the bio force field around Chakotay's bed chamber as he and the ensign began their preparations for surgery.

********

Hours seemed to pass. The Doctor and the Ensign continued to work on Chakotay as B'Elanna paced back and forth, her Klingon impatience getting the best of her at times. The surgery was long and tedious. Chakotay's internal organs had been ripped to shreds by the offensive actions of the shuttle's bulkheads. B'Elanna couldn't help but notice that the Doctor's normally stoic demeanor was grim and his face was stern as he concentrated on trying to keep Chakotay alive.

The silence was deafening. She had finally taken up a post between Tom and Kathryn. She stroked Tom's hand softly as she watched the drama being played out in front of her across the room. Tom, who's wounds had been tended to quickly by the Doctor, was sleeping peacefully now. He too, had been given a sedative to keep him calm. She brushed his cheek softly with her hand. "My God Tom! What you have been through my love…What you have seen…." She kissed him tenderly on the lips and turned towards the Captain's bed. She frowned as she focused on the Captain's restless form. The sedative had done little more than put her Captain to sleep. It was evident that she was having nightmares….

Kathryn whimpered softly. She had been dreaming of their talks about spirit guides. She had been glad that he showed her how to 'get in touch' with her own…. It had been over four years ago, and the memory was still fresh in her mind…. She remembered how he had shared with her the traditions and beliefs of his ancestors…. The color and mysticism. The dances to the Gods. The sorrow of the Ghost Dance as warriors prepared for battle, and the likelihood that they would follow their ancestors…. Kathryn's eyes widened as realization hit home…. "Chakotay!"

B'Elanna had placed her hands on Kathryn's shoulders to calm her in her distressful sleep. "Easy Captain… The Doctor is still working on him."

Kathryn sat up and got off the bed, rubbing her arms from the all too apparent cold of Sickbay, and the fear in her own soul. She walked over to the bio-field where the Doctor was still operating. She felt so helpless. Her back to B'Elanna, she spoke softly as she watched her beloved fight for his life… "How long B'Elanna? How long was I out?"

B'Elanna sighed and glanced back at Tom's sleeping form on the bio-bed behind them. She did not want to face the Captain's wrath by herself. She inhaled deeply as she spoke. "Four hours Captain."

Kathryn turned vehemently on her. "Four Hours! My God! Chakotay is fighting for his life, and you kept me sedated for four hours!"

"Captain… The Doctor thought it best under the circumstances."

Kathryn raised her hand in protest and turned back to face Chakotay's still form lying before her. She watched the sensors that were monitoring his vital signs and closed her eyes as the tears began to well once more. The signs were weak, despite the aide of life support. She felt the Doctor's presence next to her and opened her eyes to look up at him… "How is he?"

The Doctor had never been programmed with emotion, but in the recent years with Kes' help and B'Elanna's EMH programming skills, he had acquired several emotions, none of which he hated more than the sorrow he felt when situations like this occurred. Her eyes cut through his holographic image. He sighed heavily. "The Commander is dying Captain. I can do little more than try and keep him comfortable until…. I'm sorry. There's only so much medical technology can do."

Kathryn felt her knees give way. The Doctor caught her. "No Please! You have to save him! He can't die! He just can't!"

"Captain. I think it best that you leave."

"No. I have to stay with him! Please let me stay with him. He needs me. He needs me by his side. He's been by mine these last four years, and I will not leave his now." Her words were decisive.

"Captain… Really I must insist."

"Doctor… Don't make me give you an order. I will stay here by his side. No more sedatives! No more protests! Chakotay needs me…and I need him… I'm staying and that's final."

The Doctor sighed once more. "As you wish. But I must insist that you remain calm. Lieutenant Torres, may I speak with you privately?"

B'Elanna placed her hand on Kathryn's shoulder and turned to follow the Doctor out of Sickbay.

********

Kathryn was numb. She deactivated the bio-field and stepped forward, taking her place by his side. She sat down next to him taking his hand in hers. She would not leave him, not now… not ever. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she held his hand close to her cheek. She kissed it tenderly. "Oh Chakotay my love… Please hold on… Please do not leave me alone…. I will not survive without you by my side. I love you… I love you." She repeated the words over and over as she buried her head beside him.

********

The Doctor and B'Elanna exited the Sickbay as Tuvok approached. The Doctor acknowledged him quickly. "Commander."

"Doctor, you summoned me here under the emergency frequency. Has there been a change to the Commander's condition?"

"Yes. Commander Chakotay is dying. I've done everything within my programming to save him."

B'Elanna felt herself reel from his words. Chakotay couldn't die. He just couldn't. "Surely there's something that can be done?"

"I'm afraid not Lieutenant. The Commander lost a great deal of blood. Not to mention, the injuries to his internal organs were severe and extensive. Quite frankly it's a wonder he has survived this long. The bulkhead from the shuttle practically cut him in half."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow at the Doctor's description. "But he has survived this long Doctor, there is a chance…"

"Lt. Commander Tuvok, in all my EMH programming I have never seen injuries as extensive as Commander Chakotay's. I hazard to guess…"

Tuvok narrowed his eyes. "You hazard what Doctor?"

"That Commander Chakotay will not live through the night."

Tuvok and B'Elanna exchanged quick glances. B'Elanna took a deep breath. "You're joking!"

"I wish I were Lieutenant. I wish I were…"

Tuvok approached the doors. "The Captain?"

"She doesn't know yet. Her mental state is extremely agitated and anguished at the moment. I've already had to sedate her more than once as your are well aware."

"The Captain will need to be made aware of his condition Doctor. Commander Chakotay as First Officer is, afterall, second in command."

"I wouldn't recommend that Commander. I gather by the Captain's actions in my Sickbay over the last few hours that Commander Chakotay is more than just First Officer and second in command to the Captain. I suggest we keep this knowledge to ourselves until necessary. It will alleviate her distress for the moment."

Tuvok raised his eyebrow. "Very well Doctor. Notify me the moment the Commander's condition changes in any way." He entered through the doors and walked to the area where Chakotay was lying. The Captain was stroking Chakotay's cheek as he approached. "Captain?"

She didn't acknowledge him. Her eyes were fixed on Chakotay's ashen face. "You have the bridge Tuvok. I want to remain here."

"Captain… I must disagree. Your place is on the bridge."

She turned her face to look up at him. Her eyes were red and her face was tear stained. "My place is by his side Tuvok. I will not leave him."

"Captain Janeway. I understand your concern for Commander Chakotay but I must insist that you return to your duties as Captain of this vessel."

Her gaze turned cold. "You're dismissed Commander."

"Captain… I must protest this irrational display. You are Captain of a Federation Starship. Your duty is to this ship and to this crew. Commander Chakotay understood that."

Her eyes narrowed at his choice of words. "He understands that Tuvok. At the moment, my duty is to Chakotay."

Tuvok was visibly perturbed at her stubbornness. "As your First Officer… or otherwise…?"

Her voice was hoarse and deep within her throat. "You have your orders Commander. Now get out…"

Tuvok sighed and turned. Now would not be a good time to discuss Star Fleet regulations and protocol. B'Elanna was standing by the doors. She lowered her eyes to avoid his gaze. Tuvok walked by her visibly frustrated at his Captain's sense of duties.

As the doors closed behind him, she turned to face the Captain. Kathryn shot her a look of indignation.

B'Elanna walked by her quickly to sit down next to Tom.

Kathryn turned back to Chakotay and closed her eyes. "From now on, I'll defy everyone and anything to remain by your side Chakotay. Now you must defy death and remain by mine… Please… Don't leave me Chakotay. Come back to me… Please…Come back to me…"

She placed her head on his arm once again. She needed to be as close to him as possible. She had always felt so alone whenever he was absent from her side, but no more than she did at this very moment. The equipment now keeping him alive formed a barrier between them, and she resented it. She wanted to lie down and take him in her arms, forever wiping away the pain that he had felt from his ordeal.

********

Her mind wandered. It had been in her sedated sleep only moments before, that she had made out pieces of the conversation at the bed next to hers, as Tom relayed the events of their accident to the Doctor and B'Elanna, trying to come to grips with his own emotions of guilt and despair.

It seemed like a nightmare. Horrible images of the bulkhead crushing him and cutting his flesh filled her mind. She couldn't block out the image of Tom cradling Chakotay in his arms, pleading with the heavens for his life as they were transported back on board Voyager….

She touched his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. "Chakotay, my love. I will not let any more harm come to you… ever…."

********

Another four hours passed. Tom was released under B'Elanna's watchful eye. The Doctor gave her strict orders to keep a close eye on him. The sight of Captain Janeway pinning at the side of her beloved First Officer was more than he could bear, and the guilt at not being able to help Chakotay on the shuttle had overwhelmed him more than once. The Doctor did not need two hysterical people in his Sickbay. He ordered Tom to his quarters.

As they started past her, Tom stopped and put his hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "Captain… I'm sorry. Please forgive me." He faltered as B'Elanna put her arms around him to steady him.

Kathryn pressed her hand over his and turned to look up into his face…. "It's not your fault Tom. Please…get some rest and do what B'Elanna tells you to do. Chakotay would want that…." She tried to smile, but her lips quivered. She closed her eyes to hold back the tears. "He'd want you back at your post as soon as possible…."

Tom and B'Elanna's eyes welled with tears, and B'Elanna pulled Tom gently. "Come on Tom…. We need to leave…."

Tom hesitated. "Captain… Is there anything…?"

Kathryn shook her head. "No…. Just take care of yourself…." She turned her head away.

Tom lowered his, as guilt overwhelmed him once more. B'Elanna tightened her hold and bid him to leave. As the doors to Sickbay closed behind them, Kathryn felt an emptiness and loneliness like she had never known before….

********

Kathryn's demeanor waned under the strain of her emotions. She had succumbed to sleep once more and had had a nightmare… She could see Chakotay, dressed in the clothes of his ancestors', dancing and chanting around a huge fire pit…. she called his name but he did not acknowledge her…. He was in a trance…. His eyes were barren of emotion…. He was performing the Ghost Dance…. His dance of death….

********

She had awoke screaming and had been crying senselessly for more than an hour…Ever since Chakotay's vital signs took a turn for the worse.

Tuvok had been summoned by the Doctor. As he entered Sickbay, Kathryn was convulsing from her cries. She was struggling in the Doctor's grasp. He managed to administer another hypospray sedative, as Tuvok grabbed her limp body.

"Please Commander. Remove her. She can no longer withstand the strain of being here. It will not be long now."

Tuvok raised his eyebrow and glanced at Chakotay. "Doctor… Are you sure?"

The Doctor turned away from Tuvok. "Yes. It is only a matter of time. Now Please. Take the Captain to her quarters. She shouldn't be here when it happens…."

"Four hours ago I agreed with you. But now, as realization of the Commander's fate becomes apparent, I believe her place is with the Commander."

"Nevertheless, Commander, as her Doctor, I must insist. Her mental anguish is too great at the moment. Take Captain Janeway out of this place of death…."

"Very well." He supported Kathryn with one arm as he touched Chakotay's shoulder… "I will take care of her Commander…You have my solemn vow." He closed his eyes and said a silent Vulcan prayer…. "I choose to believe that this is not good-bye Commander…. Until our eyes meet once again… Live Long and Prosper my friend." He raised his hand to his First Officer in the Vulcan salute.

Despite his Vulcan blood, his face showed his concern as he picked up the Captain's limp body and exited the Sickbay.

********

Tuvok carefully laid his Captain on her bed. He had summoned a female ensign to assist with the change of her uniform to her bed clothes. As the ensign left, Tuvok covered her with the covers and dimmed the lights to her quarters. He stood at the side of her bed gazing down at her sleeping form. His Vulcan lineage deprived him of the ability to feel grief and sorrow as humans felt it.

This woman was evidence that no matter what level of command on a Federation Starship, sorrow at the loss of a loved one was indeed deeply felt. Her face was tear stained and her eyes were hollow and puffy from endless crying over the last several hours. The hair surrounding her face was damp from her tears. She was losing not only her First Officer, she was losing her best friend, and her soul….

He exited quietly. He needed to prepare for the hours ahead and how he would break the news to his Captain that her beloved First Officer had passed away….

********

Kathryn stirred in her sleep. The vision became clearer. The figure approached her, holding out his hand. She could smell his cologne drifting on the wind. He was dressed in white robes that shimmered in the moonlight. There was an iridescent glow surrounding him. She reached out to take his hand in hers. He smiled down at her as he wrapped her in his arms. His arms felt so strong, his body so warm. She gazed into his face. It was so peaceful and serene. His hand gently touched her cheek as his eyes gazed deep into her soul. He leaned down to kiss her, softly at first, then passionately, as his hold tightened around her. "Kathryn, my love… Come… walk with me…"

"Oh Chakotay… Where are we going?" She felt as if she would melt.

"To our place of heaven my love… Where we can be together as a man and a woman for all eternity…"

"Chakotay…" Her lips clung to his. Her arms straining to pull him closer to her, to make her one with him.

He put his arm around her waist and guided her. She gazed at the stars surrounding them. Her own clothes were now white with the same iridescent quality. They had reached their vista. It was indeed pure heaven… crystal clear water, and opalescent sands caressed their feet. She felt like she was walking on silk. The sky above them glistened with millions of stars, each sparkling like a freshly cut diamond. The planets glowed like brightly colored gemstones from the light the stars radiated forth. He turned to her, taking her hair in his hands and loosening it around her shoulders. He pulled her close and embraced her passionately, his lips seeking to mold hers to his own.

"Kathryn… Now is the time when I shall make you mine for all eternity. Now is the time when we become one."

"Oh Chakotay. I am yours. Body, mind and soul I am yours…now and forever. I have always been and forever will be, one with you."

"I love you Kathryn. My heart and my soul have loved no other. I love only you…." He laid her down on the sand, gently caressing her as he did so. His fingers traced every curve of her body as he undid her robes. His lips seared kiss after kiss against her skin, as they hungrily sought to devour her.

She reached up to pull his robes down from his shoulders. His bronze skin glistening in the moonlight. As the robes fell from his body, her eyes took in his complete form. He was indeed beautiful. His Native American features strong in the glint of the stars' caress. His hardened muscles glowing in the gentle moonlight that surrounded them. She reached up and stroked her fingers through is black hair, pulling him down to her lips once more. "Make love to me Chakotay. Make our souls truly one in spirit." She was drowning in his scent, in his arms, in his eyes…and she didn't care to come up for air.

"Oh Kathryn… How I have lived for this moment…"

He reached down with one hand and caressed the inside of her thigh, lightly brushing against her folds, sending electricity through her veins. His other hand cupped her breast as his tongue teased and gently bit her nipples. His tongue traced a path down her stomach and onto her awaiting bare mound as his fingers toyed with her folds. She was grinding her hips against his hand as she became eager for his fingers to devour her.

"Please Chakotay…."

"In due time my love. I want to prolong this moment for as long as I can. It must be ours to remember for an eternity."

His mouth kissed her thighs and brushed against her bare folds, sending a quiver through her core. He took her sweetness in his mouth and devoured her. Teasing her hardened nub with his tongue and teeth as he slid first one finger, then two, then slowly a third into her moist opening. His fingers wriggled and twisted within her, sending waves of ecstasy through her soul.

She ground her hips harder against his hand and mouth. Her hands grabbed at his hair and pulled him closer. She wanted to pull him completely inside her. She wanted his body. She wanted his soul….

As his tongue continued to set her nerves on fire, he sucked, licked and nibbled at her folds. His hand was commanding to feel her inner folds tighten around it, and it thrust faster in and out of her, as his fingers massaged her inner sanctum at a delirious rate. She grabbed his head and arched her back as he had commanded. Her juices spilling freely over him as she cried out in ecstasy.

As he raised his head, he gently pulled his fingers free from her tightened mound, sending another wave of pleasure through her. She shuddered and released another moan of satisfaction. He smiled as he positioned himself over her. She pulled his head down to her. She wanted to taste her juices on his lips. She needed to know the taste that was theirs and theirs alone. She kissed him hungrily. Teasing and nibbling at his lips.

Her hands caressed his chest squeezing his nipples between her fingers as he moaned in exquisite pain. Her hands continued to caress and claw at his shoulders and back. Her innermost animalistic passions were raging. She gently bit and clawed at his hot flesh sending wave after wave of pain and pleasure through his body. Her hands stroked his hardened member as he moaned. She pushed him onto his back so that she could take him within her hot mouth. She lowered her mouth down on him as he arched to meet her hunger. She caressed it shamelessly with her tongue, teasing the tip ever so lightly as it grew darker with desire, as her hand rubbed and molded his shaft into a weapon of desire. Her other hand cradled his sacks and gently squeezed them, pressing them upward towards his hardened erection.

Her breath was quick and hot to his skin. He was on fire with her every touch, and he moaned, as pain and pleasure became one at her hands. Only she could stop this agony. Only she could put out the fire that was consuming his body, his mind, his soul…. He wanted her body around him. He wanted her soul….

He grabbed her shoulders and flipped her onto her back. "Kathryn! I must have you." His mouth covered hers as he kissed her hard, pressing his shaft against her mound.

Her breath was hot against his cheek as she whispered. "Chakotay take me! Take me now with all the passion and primal instincts you possess!"

He groaned at her primal display of passion. His need for her could not be quenched. He gazed into her eyes and touched her soul with his own. His mouth covered hers roughly as he obeyed her order. He thrust his hardened member deep within her folds as she cried out, arching her back to meet his thrusts.

Their bodies became one. Instinctively they moved in concert. Their eyes were locked as their passions raged. His thrusts became harder as she ground her hips under him. She kept repeating his name breathlessly, begging him for more.

"Please Chakotay… I am yours…. Make me yours for an eternity!"

His whispers could not be stifled as he spoke her name. "You have always been mine Kathryn. From the moment our eyes met… We have been one… Our bodies… Our minds… Our souls…"

As the crescendo peaked, they cried out in unison as an ecstasy like no other consumed their very beings.

Their bodies glistened in the moonlight. Kathryn pulled Chakotay to her, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. Tears were streaming down her face as she moaned softly in the afterglow of their passion. "Oh Chakotay… I love you."

Chakotay raised his head and gazed into her eyes with a passion all his own. "Kathryn… How I have longed to hear you whisper those words…. You are now truly mine for an eternity." He sighed breathlessly as his lips claimed hers passionately once again.

A mist arose from the sea and caressed the white sands surrounding them.

His arms folded around her as he pulled her next to him. How he wanted this moment to last forever. The afterglow of their passions forming a halo around their bodies as it mingled with the iridescence of the white sand where they lay. His eyes welled with tears as he saw the mist roll closer to their resting place. Tears fell down his cheeks as he cradled her in his arms…. He whispered softly, brushing his lips against her cheek. "Ours to remember for an eternity my love…"

She gazed up at him and wiped the tears from his cheeks. She repeated his words softly against his cheek. "Ours to remember for an eternity…" Her fingers touched the scar along his abdomen, and her eyes sparked with pain.

His hand cupped around hers, gently holding it there. "Not to worry my love, it no longer pains me." His hand gently moved hers to where it rested over his heart and pressed it against his chest. "Here is where I am in pain. My heart is breaking that I can no longer be with you. I must leave now."

Her eyes darkened. "Leave…? Leave where? You cannot leave me. Take me with you."

He kissed her gently on the cheek and forehead, soothing her knitted brow. "I cannot my love. Where I am going, you cannot follow. You will join me again one day in this place of heaven, but not now. It is not your time." He kissed her gently, once more on the lips, and released his hold on her. He stood and backed away slowly, his eyes glistening with tears as they bid her good-bye…. The mist gently folded around his feet as he whispered. "Goodbye Kathryn… my love…."

She reached out for him, calling after him. "No! Take me with you Chakotay… Please don't leave me… I love you! You can't leave me… Please…." She ran after him, struggling to stay upright in the soft sand, as the mist shrouded her view, and he vanished…. She fell to her knees, pleading with her arms outstretched… "Chakotay!! Please! Don't leave me alone!"

********

She awoke suddenly, and disoriented. Tears were streaming down her face. Realization set in. She released a blood curdling scream and ran from her quarters, racing down the corridor.

As the doors to the Sickbay opened, Tuvok and the Doctor turned and glanced at each other. Tuvok went to grab the Captain as she came within reach. "Captain! No!"

The Doctor was beginning to deactivate the life support and preparing to lower the conclave that surrounded Chakotay's lifeless form. A grim look on his face as he spoke, "I'm sorry Captain."

Kathryn pushed Tuvok away with incredible force, knocking him into the panel. She ran to Chakotay's side and pushed the Doctor aside as she clasped her hands on Chakotay's shoulders. She screamed down at him. "No!! You cannot die! You cannot leave me!" Her eyes were wild with fear and rage. The Doctor grabbed a hypospray and started towards her. She turned on him vehemently. "Computer!! Deactivate Emergency Medical Holograph!" The hypospray fell at her feet. She gazed at it, then quickly back to Chakotay. Her fears were consuming her soul as she ran from the Sickbay, racing to get to the bridge and her ready room.

********

Her lungs screamed for air, and her legs were heavy with grief and fatigue, but she never faltered. She had to find the one thing that would save them.

The doors to the turbolift opened and she raced into her ready room. She didn't care that every crew member in the corridors and on the bridge had seen her in her nightclothes. She didn't care about anyone except Chakotay.

She didn't care about anything but finding that dagger…. She found it. Her hand snatched it from beneath her desk and she flew out of her ready room as quickly as she had entered.

********

The turbolift opened once again, and she pushed aside two crew members as forcefully as she had Tuvok, knocking them into the bulkheads.

Her mind was in a fog. She could only think of one thing…one person…. She cried out his name as she ran through the corridor. Her wail was almost terrifying. Like that of a Banshee.

The doors to Sickbay opened for her and she stopped, breathless and determined. A deafening silence greeted her ears. There were no gentle hums of the life support sensors. Her eyes filled with hatred as she glared at Tuvok and the Doctor.

Tuvok had reactivated the Doctor and they stood by Chakotay's bed, grim and somber. The voice she spoke was not her own. It was deep and threatening. She clenched the dagger in her hand as she brandished it before her. "Get away from him…."

The Doctor glanced up as Tuvok raised his eyebrow in disbelief. He had never known her to use such a tone.

"I said get away from him…" She stepped closer. Her voice was evil and harsh. The dagger glistened under the lights of Sickbay.

Tuvok spoke. "Captain… there is nothing more that the Doctor can do. Do not prolong your grief anymore than necessary."

"Get away from him… That's an order, Commander." She threatened him with the weapon once more as her eyes narrowed with her resolve.

The Doctor started to step closer. "Captain… Commander Chakotay is dead. Please let me finish my preparations."

She stepped to the other side of the bed facing her two adversaries. "Step aside Doctor. There will be no preparations." Her tone remained harsh and threatening.

"Captain… He's dead! For God's Sake! Please!"

"Computer!"

He stepped back quickly as he feared her deactivation once again. He quickly glanced to Tuvok. Tuvok was studying her with fascination. She was indeed resolved to stay by her First Officer's side, even in death….

Kathryn gazed down into Chakotay's face. It was so calm and peaceful. She placed her hand against his cheek and touched his lips with her own. They seemed cool to her touch and she recoiled in horror.

Her breathing quickened as her hands clenched into fists. She slapped him. "No!! Damn You! You will not die on me! Do you understand me Commander! I told you once and I will tell you again…I need you by my side Chakotay, not on your death bed! You will not leave me and that's an order!"

Her breathing became hard and labored. Her whole body shook from the rage and fear consuming her. Her eyes were fixed on Chakotay's face. She would not let him win this battle between them. This was her ship, and he would follow her orders or face the consequences. Her hand tightened around the shaft of the dagger, as her eyes flashed the anger and rage in her soul. She would not let him usurp her authority even in death! By all the Gods she would not!

She drove the dagger deep into the top of the life support equipment covering Chakotay's body with such force that the Doctor and Tuvok both jumped, eyes widening in amazement.

"Not only is that an order Chakotay… it is a challenge! Come back to me and fight me or face the consequences of my wrath in Hell!"

Tuvok tilted his head and stepped closer. She glared up at him, causing him to lower his head in acknowledgment. As the Doctor started to close the gap, Tuvok placed his hand on the Doctor's arm and shook his head. "Now is not a good time Doctor…."

Kathryn glared at both of them, nostrils flaring and eyes flashing her determination.

Their amazement at her actions was broken by the sound of the sensors. Kathryn glanced back down at Chakotay's still form, as the Doctor shoved her aside. "Captain…If you'll excuse me…." He quickly grabbed the cardiac stimulator and placed it on Chakotay's chest, reaching for the cortical stimulator in tandem. He placed it on the side of Chakotay's head as he administered 50cc of adrenaline. The sensors jumped in unison.

She glanced at the sensors and back to Chakotay. She was confused and faint from the rage that had consumed her. "What's going on doctor? What's happening?"

The Doctor was his normal dry self… "It appears Captain, that the Commander is obeying your order."

She felt her shoulders sag with relief from the weight that had just been removed. She leaned down and took his hand into hers. She brought it to her lips and kissed the palm tenderly. She pressed her cheek against his as her lips gently grazed his. They were not as cool to her touch and she closed her eyes in thanks. She whispered softly but her tone was determined… "Come back and face me like a man Chakotay. We must finish this battle between us…. You have been challenged."

The Doctor glanced at Tuvok and bade him to pull her away. Tuvok raised his eyebrow at the challenge she had bestowed on her First Officer. He approached slowly and put his hands on her shoulders. "Captain… Please…"

She glanced up quickly, but the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder. "It's all right Captain. The Commander is alive. I believe he will make it."

She suddenly felt all of her raging emotions leave her, and she slumped to the floor in relief, weak from her battles over the last twenty four hours. She was crying softly as Tuvok picked her up and carried her to her quarters for the third time today….

********

It had been over a week since the sensors jumped to attention at her command. Though he was still unconscious, his vital signs continued to slowly strengthen. The Doctor told her to be patient. Injuries such as his did not heal overnight, even with the help of a regenerator. She became frustrated. Patience had never been her long suit. She needed him back on the bridge as her First Officer. She needed him back by her side as the man she loved more than life itself.

Satisfied now that he would live, Kathryn returned to her duties on the bridge and as Captain of Voyager. She ordered the Doctor to give her hourly reports as to his progress, though she continued to make frequent visits to Sickbay to see for herself that Chakotay was still alive and that his condition continued to strengthen.

At the end of her shifts, she would change and freshen up before heading to his side. She wanted to look her best for him, just in case he were to awaken while she was there.

She would hold and caress his hand, speaking softly to him of her day, keeping him apprised of the happenings on board Voyager, the latest developments with Tom and B'Elanna, and Tom's recovery. And with each kiss she bestowed on his lips, she vowed her love to him and him alone for an eternity. The process would continue each night until fatigue would overtake her and either Tuvok or Harry carried her back to her quarters.

********

For eight days now she had been under the same routine. She had welcomed the invitation to dinner. She eased back on the couch, tense, as B'Elanna poured her another glass of wine. "Dinner was wonderful B'Elanna. Thanks. I needed a break from Neelix's cooking experiments."

Tom shifted his right leg to get more comfortable. His left had healed remarkably fast over the last week but his right was being a bit more stubborn. His shoulder showed no signs of discomfort as he placed his weight on that arm to position his body closer to B'Elanna's. "I'm surprised you've eaten anything Captain. You've either been on the bridge or by his side every waking moment of the day. What good are you going to be if you don't get some rest yourself?"

"Tom's right Captain. Just look how tense you are now. And you've had three glasses of wine."

Kathryn smiled at their concern. Tom and B'Elanna had made it their resolve over the last few days to see that she didn't forget about her duty to herself. "I'll be alright. It's just been a long day." She glanced quickly at the time display on the table next to the couch, hoping that they did not notice her impatience. They had been so wonderful to invite her to dinner, she didn't want to hurt their feelings by rushing off.

Tom was too perceptive, however, and feigned a yawn. "Oh dear. Excuse me. I guess that medication the Doctor gave me is working overtime tonight. I'd better turn in." He leaned over to kiss B'Elanna on her cheek and whispered in her ear. "I'll see you later in my quarters."

B'Elanna smiled as she squeezed his hand in acknowledgment. "Please Captain, would you mind seeing Tom back to his quarters before you head to Sickbay?"

Kathryn couldn't help but hide the smile that escaped her lips. These two were incorrigible. Was her impatience to be with Chakotay that evident that Tom was feigning exhaustion in order to get her to leave? "Of course. I wouldn't mind at all. Thanks again for a wonderful dinner." She reached over and gave Tom a helping hand up from the couch.

As they walked towards the door, B'Elanna pressed a couple of replicator rations into Tom's hand. They had already discussed it before Kathryn had arrived. She needed something new to wear to Chakotay's bedside tonight. Tom squeezed B'Elanna's hand as he placed them in his pocket. He kissed B'Elanna tenderly on the cheek. "Goodnight B'Elanna. And thanks…for everything." They each smiled mischievously as the doors slid open.

As they entered the corridor, Kathryn slowed her normal quick pace as Tom limped along next to her. Their talk was routine and friendly. As they stopped by Tom's quarters, he leaned over, kissed her tenderly on the cheek and pressed the rations into Kathryn's palm. "Replicate something lovely Captain. It's been along week. You deserve it."

Kathryn's eyes stared at the rations in her hands in disbelief. She raised her eyes to met his and a tear fell from her cheek. "Tom, I can't take these."

"B'Elanna and I already decided before dinner that you needed something new to wear. You need, afterall to look your best when the Commander awakens. Wouldn't want him to think that you've let this ship go to Hell and back without him." He smiled like a wicked little school boy who was contemplating a practical joke on his teacher. He signaled for the doors to his quarters to open.

She bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears at this selfless act. B'Elanna and Tom were truly wonderful friends. "Thank you Tom… and thank B'Elanna too… when you see her later." She smiled and winked at him before turning and walking towards her own quarters.

********

She entered her quarters and gazed down at the disks in her hand. She would freshen up first, then replicate something wonderful. She laid them carefully down on her dresser. Picking up her hair brush she ran it quickly through her hair and reached for a bottle of perfume. As she ran the stem across her wrists and down her neck, she heard her name softly in the darkness…. "Kathryn…."

She turned suddenly to gaze in the direction from whence the sound came. A chill ran down her spine as she realized that she was alone.

The harsh sound of the comm link broke her thoughts. "Doctor to Captain Janeway. Come to Sickbay immediately."

She shrieked as she dropped the bottle and ran from her quarters.

As she raced towards Sickbay, her thoughts screamed as her heart sank. "No!! This can't be happening again!"

********

As the doors slid open, she stopped breathless at the image before her. The Doctor was bent over Chakotay's still form. Her hand went to her mouth to stifle a cry.

The Doctor raised up and turned towards her, frowning at her disheveled appearance and breathless condition. He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Relax Captain. I was merely changing his dressings. I believe, however, that the Commander wishes to speak to you."

He stepped back as she lowered her hand and stepped forward slowly. Hesitant of what she might see, and even more by what she might hear. She could not bear to hear him say goodbye again as he had in her vision.

The Doctor entered his office and sat down as Kathryn approached Chakotay's side. She blinked back the tears that had formed in her eyes as she had raced through the corridors to his side. She gazed down at his face and slowly took his hand in hers. Pressing it to her cheek, then to her lips, she kissed it tenderly on the palm. She lowered her cheek to his and brushed his lips with her own. Her words were soft on his lips. "Chakotay?"

Ever so slowly, he opened his eyes. They were dark and glazed from the medication that the Doctor had administered to ease his pain.

He struggled to speak…. "Kathryn…."

She brushed his lips once more with hers. "Sssh. Save your strength…."

He squeezed her hand and struggled to breathe, his lungs still not functioning at full capacity. He gazed deep into her eyes as tears welled in his own and fell down his cheeks. The pain he was feeling was almost too much to bear. His heart was breaking at the sight of her so close to him. He felt not only the pain of his injuries, but the pain of longing. He wanted to reach out and take her in his arms and tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to hold her tightly. His body ached for her. Only Kathryn could dispel his pain. Only Kathryn could give him back his life. Only Kathryn could give him back his soul….

She leaned down and kissed him tenderly, answering his plea for relief from the pain that he was feeling. She could see it in his eyes and it cut her to the core. She pressed her cheek to his as her own tears fell freely down her cheeks and mixed with his own. Her words soft against his cheek. "Oh Chakotay…. I love you so much. Never again will I let you suffer such pain." She placed her other hand against his temple, tracing along his tattoo, soothing the pain away from his brow.

He closed his eyes at the loving words she spoke and the soothing touch of her hand. He nuzzled her cheek and she turned once again to look at him. He opened his eyes and fixed his gaze on hers.

His gaze reached down to the very core of her being. She could feel his pain. She could feel his love for her. She could feel the memories…. They were the same.

It had not been a vision that she had seen, he had come to her at the hour of his death, to be with her and her alone… to make her his own for an eternity…. She gasped as the reality came to her. They had truly made love in heaven….

She repeated his words again softly as her lips quivered from the realization. "Our place of heaven…. Ours to remember for an eternity my love…. " As he nodded slightly, she lowered her mouth and kissed him with all the passion and life she had in her soul. "We are one Chakotay. Our bodies, our minds, and our souls…. We can never be apart again…."

He felt her passion and her soul become one with his…. They were now truly one for an eternity. As she released him from her lips, his gaze shifted to the jeweled dagger that was still perched in the life support equipment over his chest. He turned his gaze to her and smiled, his voice weak but determined. "Challenge accepted…."

The words had been soft, but she heard them. The tears fell freely from her eyes as relief crossed her face. She smiled down at him as her resolve took form…. She would indeed make this a battle to remember…and furthermore, she would win.

the end….

Currently, two sequels are planned… Battle Lines, and Sweet Victory….

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