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Dear Helen

I have been recently hanging around with a group of people since school has started and I don't think they appreciate me, but the problem is that I don't have anyone else to turn to as they all have different times of being in school.

I feel on a downward spiral as I've only just started going to the pubs and stuff just to stay in contact with friends who are older than me by three years. They're eighteen, but are fun. This is also affecting school, as the group that I hang around with who are the same age as me also go to the pubs during school.

I don't know what to do!

Ian n

Dear Ian

You obviously feel very insecure with the groups of friends you have both within school and outside.

You have one group of friends whose timetable doesn't fit in with yours - perhaps they're the group you mixed with last year. You now mix with a new group who don't seem to appreciate you so much. Maybe this is because they they don't know you all that well. Or, if they're skiving off school and going in pubs then they're probably insecure themselves and may simply not have what it takes to make proper friendships.

I don't have to remind you that drinking alcohol under the age of eighteen is against the law. You would be better off staying in school rather than going down the pub, even if it means you have to be on your own for a bit. Before long you will be bound to meet some people you feel more comfortable with. The 18 year olds might be a good laugh but good, solid friendships based on mutual appreciation seem to be what you are hankering after and these are best made with people a bit closer to your own age.

I also suggest that you don't let your friends pressurise you into doing things that you know will affect your work at school and that you feel uncomfortable with. They should accept you for who you are and if they don't they aren't very good friends and personally I'd dump the lot.

If you feel that your school work is suffering badly it might also be worth talking to your tutor about this, to see if there is anything he or she can do to help.

If you would like to talk more about this or need further information please feel free to call Youthline on 01905 613131

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		*Dear Helen* I have been recently hanging around with a group of people since school has started and I don't think they appreciate me, but the problem is that I don't have anyone else to turn to as they all have different times of being in school. I feel on a downward spiral as I've only just started going to the pubs and stuff just to stay in contact with friends who are older than me by three years. They're eighteen, but are fun. This is also affecting school, as the group that I hang around with who are the same age as me also go to the pubs during school. I don't know what to do! Ian n

Dear Ian You obviously feel very insecure with the groups of friends you have both within school and outside. You have one group of friends whose timetable doesn't fit in with yours - perhaps they're the group you mixed with last year. You now mix with a new group who don't seem to appreciate you so much. Maybe this is because they they don't know you all that well. Or, if they're skiving off school and going in pubs then they're probably insecure themselves and may simply not have what it takes to make proper friendships. I don't have to remind you that drinking alcohol under the age of eighteen is against the law. You would be better off staying in school rather than going down the pub, even if it means you have to be on your own for a bit. Before long you will be bound to meet some people you feel more comfortable with. The 18 year olds might be a good laugh but good, solid friendships based on mutual appreciation seem to be what you are hankering after and these are best made with people a bit closer to your own age. I also suggest that you don't let your friends pressurise you into doing things that you know will affect your work at school and that you feel uncomfortable with. They should accept you for who you are and if they don't they aren't very good friends and personally I'd dump the lot. If you feel that your school work is suffering badly it might also be worth talking to your tutor about this, to see if there is anything he or she can do to help. If you would like to talk more about this or need further information please feel free to call Youthline on 01905 613131


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