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Dear Helen

My parents recently split up and although they are not divorced, I know that it is definitely permanent.

My mum has moved out into a house 15 minutes up the road and has asked me to move in with her. But I know my dad wants me to live with him too.

I'm really confused because I love them both and I don't want to lose contact with either of them. They're not putting pressure on me, but they keep on giving me things, as if they are trying to buy me. I feel so pressurised to make a choice.

When I visit my mum sometimes I can see she's been crying and I feel really guilty, but at the same time I don't want to leave my dad alone.

What should I do?

Sally n

Dear Sally

The choice of what to do is yours - I can't make it for you. However, what I can give you are some suggestions to help you to make your choice.

Have you tried talking to either of your parents about how you feel? They may have no idea that you feel torn between them and that by moving in with one of them you will feel like you are rejecting the other. Hopefully, they want what is best for you and may try to calm your fears about leaving either of them. As the houses are only fifteen minutes apart, you may be able to come to a compromise that allows you to spend ample time with both your parents.

It might also be worth your while seeking some other outside advice. Here are some organisations you might want to try:

Both Parents Forever (Tel: 01689 854343), who can advise you on your rights and tell you where you stand.

Under 25's Information and Advice Service (Tel: 01905 23925), who can give you advice, information and counselling.

Childline (Tel: 0800 1111), who can give you advice, support and counselling.

Don't forget tell them both how much you love them. And remember, whoever's home you choose to live in, you will eventually leave home and either parent will be left on their own anyway.

If there is any further information you would like please feel free to call Youthline on 01905 613131.

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		*Dear Helen* My parents recently split up and although they are not divorced, I know that it is definitely permanent. My mum has moved out into a house 15 minutes up the road and has asked me to move in with her. But I know my dad wants me to live with him too. I'm really confused because I love them both and I don't want to lose contact with either of them. They're not putting pressure on me, but they keep on giving me things, as if they are trying to buy me. I feel so pressurised to make a choice. When I visit my mum sometimes I can see she's been crying and I feel really guilty, but at the same time I don't want to leave my dad alone. What should I do? Sally n

Dear Sally The choice of what to do is yours - I can't make it for you. However, what I can give you are some suggestions to help you to make your choice. Have you tried talking to either of your parents about how you feel? They may have no idea that you feel torn between them and that by moving in with one of them you will feel like you are rejecting the other. Hopefully, they want what is best for you and may try to calm your fears about leaving either of them. As the houses are only fifteen minutes apart, you may be able to come to a compromise that allows you to spend ample time with both your parents. It might also be worth your while seeking some other outside advice. Here are some organisations you might want to try: Both Parents Forever (Tel: 01689 854343), who can advise you on your rights and tell you where you stand. Under 25's Information and Advice Service (Tel: 01905 23925), who can give you advice, information and counselling. Childline (Tel: 0800 1111), who can give you advice, support and counselling. Don't forget tell them both how much you love them. And remember, whoever's home you choose to live in, you will eventually leave home and either parent will be left on their own anyway. If there is any further information you would like please feel free to call Youthline on 01905 613131.


	more problems...