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Dear Helen

I guess it started when I was 14 - it was only small pimples at first, but then as time went on more and more began to appear. I am now 16 and my face is covered with acne. Every time I look at myself I just see ugliness and despair at my reflection. I feel alone and alienated at school, as others take the mickey out of me. The few friends I have are quite supportive, but they really don't understand what it feels like. I mean, they have spots - but not as bad as mine.

My mum says it's just part of growing up, but all the other kids at school don't have ACNE quite like mine.

What can I do? Please help!

Yours sincerely,

Desperate

Dear Desperate

I can understand that you are feeling distressed about this, you say you feel alone and alienated. Firstly, I want to reassure you that you are not alone in this. Acne is a very common, especially among young people. It is caused when tiny pores and grease glands in the body get blocked and infected. This is not the result of uncleanness or poor personal hygiene, it is actually a reaction of the skin to the male hormone testosterone (which, by the way, occurs in both men and women.)

Some people normally get acne - it is not something that you can avoid by washing more often or using certain cosmetics. In most cases acne will clear up by itself over a period of time as your skin changes. However, in some cases it may be necessary to contact your GP or a skin specialist.

Many people, when they get spots, think it is a good idea to squeeze them. Squeezing spots is not advisable as often this leads to further inflammation and possible scarring.

You say your friends are supportive. This is a good thing, you should appreciate thissupport, even though they may not actually understand how it feels. They are not alienating you they want you to be with them, so don't alienate yourself.

I understand that you feel no one else has it as bad as you, but this is not a reflection of you, this is just a stage that your body is going through as you grow up.

You say that when you look at yourself you see only 'ugliness'. This is a common reaction by those who have acne, but not by those who see it. People who suffer from acne feel their spots are obvious, but this is often just a self image, it is not how others see them. Acne and spots are so common amongst people in their teens and twenties that no one really notices.

Those who take the mickey out of you at school really aren't worth worrying about. Boneheads like that pick on others for the simple reason they want to look good amongst their bonehead friends. They don't think of the consequences. They pick on people for lots of different (usually very sad) reasons. If they weren't picking on you for your acne they would be getting at someone else because of their body shape or skin colour or brand of trainers. Try not to let their comments upset you - I know it is easier said than done, but if you can do it, it makes you a stronger person. You're going to meet up with plenty of boneheads in life, you might as well start trying to come to terms with them now. And hey - most of them act the way they do because they have problems too. Problems you may never come to understand. Sound familiar?

I know this does not take away the pain you're feeling, but I hope you realise many people are in the same situation and your mum is right - it is a part of growing up.

The following address and weblink are for the 'ACNE Support Group' which I think you will find very helpful:

ACNE Support Group, PO Box 230, Hayes, Middlesex, UB4 0UT. Telephone number: 0181 561 6868. Website: http://www.m2w3.com/acne/

If there is any further information you would like please feel free to call Youthline on 01905 613131

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		Dear Helen I guess it started when I was 14 - it was only small pimples at first, but then as time went on more and more began to appear. I am now 16 and my face is covered with acne. Every time I look at myself I just see ugliness and despair at my reflection. I feel alone and alienated at school, as others take the mickey out of me. The few friends I have are quite supportive, but they really don't understand what it feels like. I mean, they have spots - but not as bad as mine. My mum says it's just part of growing up, but all the other kids at school don't have ACNE quite like mine. What can I do? Please help! Yours sincerely, Desperate

Dear Desperate I can understand that you are feeling distressed about this, you say you feel alone and alienated. Firstly, I want to reassure you that you are not alone in this. Acne is a very common, especially among young people. It is caused when tiny pores and grease glands in the body get blocked and infected. This is not the result of uncleanness or poor personal hygiene, it is actually a reaction of the skin to the male hormone testosterone (which, by the way, occurs in both men and women.) Some people normally get acne - it is not something that you can avoid by washing more often or using certain cosmetics. In most cases acne will clear up by itself over a period of time as your skin changes. However, in some cases it may be necessary to contact your GP or a skin specialist. Many people, when they get spots, think it is a good idea to squeeze them. Squeezing spots is not advisable as often this leads to further inflammation and possible scarring. You say your friends are supportive. This is a good thing, you should appreciate thissupport, even though they may not actually understand how it feels. They are not alienating you they want you to be with them, so don't alienate yourself. I understand that you feel no one else has it as bad as you, but this is not a reflection of you, this is just a stage that your body is going through as you grow up. You say that when you look at yourself you see only 'ugliness'. This is a common reaction by those who have acne, but not by those who see it. People who suffer from acne feel their spots are obvious, but this is often just a self image, it is not how others see them. Acne and spots are so common amongst people in their teens and twenties that no one really notices. Those who take the mickey out of you at school really aren't worth worrying about. Boneheads like that pick on others for the simple reason they want to look good amongst their bonehead friends. They don't think of the consequences. They pick on people for lots of different (usually very sad) reasons. If they weren't picking on you for your acne they would be getting at someone else because of their body shape or skin colour or brand of trainers. Try not to let their comments upset you - I know it is easier said than done, but if you can do it, it makes you a stronger person. You're going to meet up with plenty of boneheads in life, you might as well start trying to come to terms with them now. And hey - most of them act the way they do because they have problems too. Problems you may never come to understand. Sound familiar? I know this does not take away the pain you're feeling, but I hope you realise many people are in the same situation and your mum is right - it is a part of growing up. The following address and weblink are for the 'ACNE Support Group' which I think you will find very helpful: ACNE Support Group, PO Box 230, Hayes, Middlesex, UB4 0UT. Telephone number: 0181 561 6868. Website: http://www.m2w3.com/acne/ If there is any further information you would like please feel free to call Youthline on 01905 613131


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